Please bear with me in this post. My mind is a mess so therefore my writing is a mess.

So there's this guy, we'll call him Andy. I've been crushing on Andy on and off for 4 years now. As of late, I haven't been able to get him off my mind and I know I need to just let him go. I just don't know how. I've been keeping myself busy but I still end up thinking about him the times I'm not busy, like when I'm lying in bed about to go to sleep.

Backstory: We took a summer class together four years ago. I remember on the first day of class, I was sitting there when he walked in. I couldn't get over how attractive he was. And I soon discovered he has a great sense of humor. However, I was in middle of a really bad depression stage. I knew it would be a bad idea to act on it, so I left it alone. We talked several times and we did a group project together. Once I finally got over the depression stage, I thought about asking him out but I kept stalling. Than, I met a different guy, Rich, who asked me out. I didn't want to get involved with Rich but he kept asking me out, so I finally said yes. Well, I started to have feelings to Rich and he went and got another girl pregnant. I dumped him and took a break from all men so I could glue myself back together.

Several months after dumping Rich, Andy showed up under People You May Know on facebook. I broke my rule about sending a friend request and sent him one. He accepted. I started chatting with him and I finally got the nerve to ask him out. He told me he had just started seeing someone and I should have asked sooner. I backed off and while I still chatted with him irregularly, I did my best to get over him by keeping busy. I was trying to get into Nursing School, so I put all my energy into that. Several months went by and I started to have a crush on him again. I formed a plan that I would sit and study more on my favorite bench outside the Nursing department (he was starting Nursing school that semester) however, I met another guy, Tony, who asked me out. I decided it was worth to give Tony a chance and we dated several months before breaking up because we had nothing in common. All the while, I knew I really wanted to be with Andy. After breaking up with Tony, I took sometime to get myself together. I finally worked up the nerve to ask Andy out again and this time he said he wasn't interested. After that, I put my tail between my legs and just gave up on all men.

I transferred schools because I was screwed over by the Nursing department and changed my major. I'm going into my second year at my current school and to be honest, there aren't any men there I'm interested in. I've seen a few cute ones but none that make me take a second look. Plus, I'm older than most of the students at my school and I've never been attracted to younger guys.

I was doing really well about not thinking about Andy but a few months ago, I started crush on him again and I haven't been able to get him off my mind. My friends have told me to tell him how I feel but I think there's no point. I have this problem that I never know when guys are just being nice to me or if they are hitting on me, so I'm not sure if he was just always being nice or if he found me attractive. I don't want to ask him out again and I'm not telling him how I feel over facebook because that's just tacky. The only thing I can do it just move on but I just can't. He is the most attractive man I've ever met, both physical and personality wise. He really is the whole package deal. How do I forget about him?

That's it. I hope that made sense. My head is full and it's hard to put all that in proper words. If it didn't make sense, here's a tl;dr

tl;dr I've had a crush on this guy for a long time and I know I should get over him but I don't know how. He is the most attractive man I've ever met and no other guy compares to him.

God, crushes suck. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that. I was infatuated with someone for the first time in my adult life and I didn't even know them...so my situation is way different, but I've been getting over them by staying the hell away from their FB, and just focusing on self-improvement.

Basically, I'm trying to get fit (and succeeding), get a job (working on getting references), and once I have a job I want to have talents and hobbies, and further increase my knowledge about all the things I'm most interested in (which is a good range of things that I already read up on often) and be more social.

Focusing on these things, I know I can be attractive and have character, and with that, more confidence. When I'm confident then I like myself more, and life is just easier in general. So make more personal goals, and remember that you might fail every now and then, and that it'll take a while. So make your goals in increments.

You can make it so you feel like he's made a mistake by not taking you. ; D Outdo him, all those things you find attractive about him? You could that, too...and more. Even if you don't feel like those things just know that you could. Try to take him off the pedestal you gave him. Just focus on yourself and be the best you can be. Once you feel right, most likely, you can have almost any guy you want.

Edited to get rid of annoying smiley.

nThanks for the post. I have been watching what I eat and I'm starting to lose weight. I need to start working out again. Thankfully I just moved a few blocks from school, so I can use their gym and weight room for free. I think focusing on getting back to a heathy weight is a good idea. nnI think what I really like about him is that is a geek, like me. I always wanted to read comic books and I have finally given in and started reading them. I also think it's great that he served in the Marine Corps as well. Since I was raised by a Marine, I have a major soft spot for them. nnThanks again and good luck to you getting everything you're working towards. I know we can both do it. nn

Yeah I like geeks too. xD And thanks! I wish you all the best -- just do whatever you think is interesting and want to take up, and focus on yourself for a good while. Making accomplishments will help you feel better about lots of things. Someday somebody will love you for all you're into and what you do because you (from what I've seen) are an intelligent, kind, hard-working, interesting, and wonderfully geeky person c:

Wait, what? So when you first asked him out, he said you should have asked him sooner because he's seeing someone else? And then when you ask him out later when he is single, he says he's not interested? What a douchey way to lead someone on. ;l I know you like him. I know you're crushing on him bad. I've been there. But the best thing is to get over a guy that wasn't interested in you from the get go. What I do is amplify what ticks me off about them. However, the most effective method is probably telling yourself you deserve someone that likes you and that person is clearly not Andy. Take some me time. Don't think about him. Ignore him. Appreciate yourself more and it should go away.

I'm not sure this will help your situation but here is what I know about long term crushes - they don't always lead to your knight in shining armor.

Now this is the opposite gender scenario but it's still has the same meaning.

A guy friend of mine, we'll call him Kyle, had a crush on this girl Christa since he first saw her when he was in kindergarten. Their families became family friends so he crushed on her throughout elementary school, during middle school and into high school where he finally got the nerve to ask her out. He thought she was the most amazing girl and outwardly she was beautiful & kind, had a great personality and he had known her his entire life - dream come true right?

Well even though Kyle thought he knew everything about Christa - he was wrong. He was so blinded by the fact that he liked her & that he thought she was perfect he didn't realize how terribly spoiled and rotten this girl was. She manipulated him into doing everything for her and treated him terribly. After a year or so of dating, she ended up spending a lot of her time with another guy which he confronted her about. She broke down to him saying she wasn't sure on her feelings and he became heart broken. They didn't break up though and a few days later she came back to Kyle crying because this other guy was seeing someone else. Kyle comforted Christa & took her back, because he was so blinded by his infatuation. Long story short after a terrible relationship it ended after about two years with Christa dating someone a week after her and Kyle broke up. It wasn't the love at first sight story a lot of people hear about.

Basically what I'm saying is, just because you think he's the most amazing guy you'll ever meet, doesn't mean he is. Now it's your choice if you want to figure that out for yourself, but honestly his reaction to you doesn't seem worth your time in my book. His disregard to your advances tells me he isn't as devoted to the possibility of a relationship & won't ever be able to give you the same passion as what you seem to be crushing on.

I really appreciate your kind words. I had hoped by allowing myself to geek out more, he would take notice but I doubt he has. But to be honest, I really like geeking out. I feel like I'm finally being myself. I know everything will work out in the end. I'm just need more patience.

Part of me thinks he wasn't interested in dating anyone because he was in nursing school. I don't know for sure and I really don't have the heart to ask. I know it's time to move on. I will try to focus on myself more. Thankfully classes start in a few weeks, so I won't have time to think about him

That story gave me a lot to think about, thanks. I know it's time to move on because if he doesn't feel the same way, I'm just wasting my time and energy. Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.

And sorry for the delay. I just moved and I'm still in the process of settling in. I don't have computer access at the moment, so I'm using my iPhone, which is why my writing is getting messed up.

I don't know what he said to you verbatim, but if he remotely said you should have asked sooner, that's just appalling given he said no after. I know when I crush on guys, I try to excuse their behaviors. Love is indeed blind (even though it's not really love, more like puppy love / crush haha xD). Yeah, definitely don't ask him. Save some dignity. c; Good luck with your classes and meeting new folks! :)

His words were, "I just starting seeing someone. You should have asked a month ago :)" the smiley face was included. I remember because the words are engraved in my brain. I do agree that it was shitty of him to do that. I knew it would be a bad idea to ask him out again and I needed to save my self respect. All I can do now is move forward. Thanks. Meeting people is hard because I'm an introvert. But I have hope everything will work out for the best. And if the best isn't him, I'm okay with that

Omg, I so want to confront him for your sake lol. xD I'm an introvert as well, so I know what you mean. :c /hugs At least you're in the process of moving on from him, so that's GREAT. :D

I really want to confront him too but he is on vacation and the last thing he would want (and to maintain my self respect) is do that. If he isn't into me, he isn't into me. It sucks but nothing more can been done. Maybe he isn't the person I thought he was.

I agree, save your self-respect. xD Of course he isn't. You were wearing rose tinted glasses. :c Happens to all of us. Hopefully you can meet a geeky guy who is a bit more self-aware of his actions or less of a jerk.

Okay so he is: 1) You should have asked me earlier and then 2) Not interested. Ah. oh. As in never? As in I took too long? What happened between 1 and 2? Was it a pity thing? I cannot understand what happened..

Leave it be. I'm so sad you dated potatoes, seriously. Try to focus on yourself, you need a rest. Grow into a beautiful flower.

(ps: never crushed, never dated so keep that in mind n.n' )

nI hope so too. I didn't realize how much of a jerk he is until you pointed it out. And it's really his loss. I make a really good girl friend. I don't blow their phones, I don't go through their stuff when they aren't around, I cook for them, and I encourage them to have go out with friends because I don't expect them to want to hang out with me 24/7. I'll be better off without him.

Iwould really like to know too but I guess it doesn't matter. And e I said, I make a really good girl friend, so it's his loss. My ex, Tony, even said I was the best girl friend he had and it really sucked that we had to break up bit we had very little in common. Oh well

And sorry for the delays. This not having internet for my laptop is a pain. Hopefully I'll get it set up soon. And I don't know what's up with my phone adding all this extra stuff.