So I'm 18, I really haven't ever done anything bad, I get straight A's and do everything my parents ask, but they are constantly suspicious and make random accusations about things. For example I used to like to go out and explore the backyard (we have 16 acres) but out of nowhere on my 16th birthday they accused me of going in the backyard to smoke pot(never touched it never plan to), and just BS like that.
Now that I'm 18 I'd like to hang out with my friends again (it's just been too much of a hassle) but my parents always need to know every little detail about them before I can do ANYTHING, and if I want to hang out with a guy (which I do I have guy friends heaven forbid) they want to be around or know his parents(I can handle myself!). On top of that I need to tell them exactly what we will be doing, half the time we don't know what we are going to do and just want to "hang out" I mean we'll find something do we always need to have a set plan before hand? And if I do chill with people I always get the 50 questions when I get home I feel like I'm being interrogated.
How do I deal with it? As soon as I have reliable income I'm moving out but I am losing friends over this!
I know how you feel.
I've always been a goody-good and my parents where over protective of me. To make things worse, I had a "bad boy" older brother who my parents where a lot more lenient on... or so I thought.
When I was a teenager I always compared how my parents treated me compared to when he was a teenager. I would come home at 10 and my patents would freak the fuck out. He'd come home at the next morning and they couldn't care less.
Turns out what had happened was my brother did a bunch of rebellious things when he was still in middle school. Got into a lot of fights with my dad and even kicked him in the balls then ran away from home at one point. My parents eventually gave up around high school.
I started being rebellious too and long story short, I learned a very unfortunate lesson. It doesn't pay off to be a passive, parent-pleasing goody-good. Parents (eventually) give you more respect when your independent and stand your ground... at least mine did...
[tot=azulias]
I'm certainly starting to lean towards that
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? And did you have to move out for them to let up or just stand up to them?
I'm 20 and I'm still living with them. Actually I had the worst time with my parents from ages 17-19. Things got worse before they got better but now my parents give me the space I want. I no longer feel an urgent need to move out as I did 17-19 but I would still like to.
[tot=azulias]
My mother was overprotective also (The Care Bears movie was too dark for me to watch, lol) until I was in my late teens and started asking her for her reasoning behind things and we'd talk it out. It turned out she was just a huge worrywort and has a lot of anxiety, but once she could express that to me she felt she could trust me more. I dunno if you parents are the same but maybe if you could have a heart to heart with them about why they act that way something will work out.
Carebears? haha thats terrible Thanks for the input! I will give it a try, although in the past when I have asked for reasoning it's just "because I said so" or something along the lines of well it COULD happen........I guess my mother is also a worrywart, but she is also very stubborn
I agree with . You need to ask them WHY they feel the need to accuse you and snipe at your heels when they think you're doing something wrong. Tell them it stresses you out- tell them how you really feel. Has something ever happened to your mum, or is it just because that's how she is? Ultimately, if you don't say something it will only get worse. I know she's brushed you off in the past, but you need to keep plugging away at this sort of thing. Sometimes, you won't ever get the answer you wanted, but I have a feeling talking to either your mum or your dad about it, might just help.