I'm not particularly asking for any advice, but I just need to get this out of my system. I'm one of those people that has to talk about it to feel better.

So, I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now. I love him. We know we're each others soul mates And earlier this year, I moved in with him. This was a big step for me, and at that time, I was really homesick. Bad. I didn't know many people in this town, except for my boyfriend's friends. Well, he had been friends with this other girl a little longer than we've been dating... and they had been close but he assured me that he just thinks of her as a friend. I believed him and still do. However, I never thought she felt for him just as a friend. She always called him, brought him presents, etc.

When I moved in, I became uncomfortable with her being so friendly. At that time, I was working at Kroger--and she bought cookies from there, (she knew I worked there), but took the cookies to HIM at another business. Thought that was inappropriate. One day, he went and visited her and was there with her and her little sister until 1 AM. (Which sounds risky, but trust me, I know nothing went on.) She was writing to him asking to go to lunch on his break and stuff..and it was just getting to be too much. Like, my b/f wasn't messaging her, calling her, had no contact...yet she was sending him messages about how awesome he is. I finally confronted her and asked her that if she was going to invite him to stuff, invite me too because it's weird if I'm not there. I was not mean about it at all. Did not ask her to cut off all contact. She seemed to understand that day, and we were fine. I told her I would feel different if I knew her better, and that I'd like to get to know her better, and she acted like she felt the same way.

I made a few efforts to hang out, asked if she wanted to play Just Dance with me one day... and she said about an hour or two before she was supposed to come over that she had PMS and couldn't hang out. I had made her cupcakes. I was upset and cried...but thought I was overreacting and moved on.

Another time, I asked her if she wanted to go shopping with me real quick for a wedding present for my cousin. She said "I have to walk the dogs."

I should have got a hint. About this time, I started working at a doughnut shop and had so many doughnuts they were coming out of my ears. I knew where she worked, so I took her a dozen.

Everything seemed okay. My boyfriend and I had ran into her at a comic book convention, and she seemed so distant and weird that it upset him. I figured she felt awkward that I was there, but I tried my hardest to make efforts to smooth things out. Messaged her and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with us, if she wanted to play D and D with us...still nothing. Whatever.

I also had been following her on Pinterest. For the past week or so, it was about 20 pins a day of "I love being chubby" "I love not being a size 2" and finally, I had to say something at "Chubby, Single, and Ready for a Pringle." I'm telling you, Subeta, this girl's like 110 lbs. She's not fat, AT ALL. So, I wrote something along the lines of "I'm not really sure why you post so much about being fat, because you're not. Not even close to being chubby."

No freaking joke. I didn't curse....nothing.

I got this angry message in my inbox when I woke up the next morning, that said that I was even trying to control her there and that her Pinterest wasn't even safe from me. She said that she had left my boyfriend alone like I wanted, and she said in capital letters that she did not like my boyfriend. She deleted me, and sent my boyfriend a message saying that she was tired of me attacking her and that she had to walk away from their friendship.

My boyfriend was upset because he was losing someone he called a friend. We're all upset when that happens. At first, I wasn't angry because I felt like "Yay, she's out of my life." But now I'm furious. I never tried to control her, other than asking her to kind of back off of my boyfriend but I NEVER EVER asked her to stay away from him. To me, this kind of confirmed that she had had some sort of feelings for him, mainly because this was so spastic. Her telling him that I attacked her made me hurt, because I had really tried to befriend her for my boyfriend. I wanted us to be friends especially because I didn't know too many people here where I live now.

I'm just angry. >:( She caused me a lot of stress...and I tried to be the nice person. She would act friendly to me and said we needed to get together sometime and go shopping, and I TRIED, but she always had b/s excuses. It just...was a waste of energy. I still can't figure out how she can twist me saying she wasn't fat into an attack. It had nothing to do with my boyfriend.

I dunno. Crap like this makes me question people's real motives. Sorry this is so long, but I just needed to type this out. What do you all think?

Honestly i think your gut feeling was probably right, and she's just lashing out because you made it plain that you were going to come between her and your boyfriend, even though you tried to befriend her as well. I think your attempts at being friends with her though might have put her on the defensive, since a few of your examples make it seem like you really went out of your way to be nice to her. Obviously in most situations that would be great and she'd probably be responsive to your friendliness, but after you've basically made it clear that you see her as a threat, she probably felt like you were only trying to be friendly in order to manipulate her relationship with your boyfriend/make sure you were aware of anything going on. I know that probably wasn't your first motivation at all and i definitely think you handled it all maturely and a lot nicer than i would've - but maybe she just felt that things were only getting more awkward the more you tried to be friendly, and thats why she ended up going over the top in her reaction.

I figured she thought it would be awkward too...and that's why I was being patient. I'm sure this is farfetched--but I feel like that wasn't the last of her yet. I've been screwed over a lot before, and oftentimes, people who lash out like that apologize. Hopefully I'm wrong, because right now I'm not sure if I would accept her apology. I don't particularly appreciate someone who yells at me because I did absolutely nothing.

She had ended her message saying "Let me live my life and let me feel fat if I want to." Like, wth? I'm a woman, and when a woman posts more than once repeatedly about being fat, she wants to be told she's not fat. And if she says differently, I kind of don't believe her. Never met a woman yet that enjoys feeling fat. I know I don't. Plus, even if I cussed her out, if I said... "Hey @!$^, you're being so @#@$ stupid. You're not #@$%ing fat." Like, that's not a nice way to say it...but I'm not really insulting her!

I mean, she also said that "She left my b/f alone, yet she is still under my wrath." wtf? I told my b/f about that. He seemed confused. This girl doesn't realize that every time she said "I got PMS", it hurt my feelings bad enough that I cried. I would never tell her that... but how is that wrath? I wasn't trying to control her, just trying to be nice.

Anyways, like I said, this is all a confirmation for me. Anyone who has "just-a-friend" feelings for someone, would not react this way. I've befriended some of my friend's partners before, just to please my friend, then made a new buddy in the process. Even if the tables were turned and I was in her place, I wouldn't go off because someone said I wasn't fat? That's just ridiculously childish.

I guess I'm upset because my boyfriend is saddened, and I feel like a controlling girlfriend because this probably wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me.

EDIT: Just saw the message she sent him. She said that I was attacking her even though I don't know her, um, I tried to hang out with her.

Yeah, i definitely think she's being really out of proportion over everything. The whole 'let me feel fat' is just self-pity and that kinda reflects her attitude as a whole, it seems. She's determined to be the victim even though you've tried to reach out to her, so definitely don't feel like anything's your fault. And hopefully your boyfriend will see that the way she's reacted means she wasn't that great of a friend to him in the first place.

I think he has. He told me I was right about her. He said he was disappointed because they had used to be close, and I responded by saying "obviously she lied to you and me about how she wants to be friends with me for so long, how can you believe anything she ever told you?" He just looked at me.

Ugh, I always knew it. I KNEW it. The morning after he had been at her house till the middle of the night, I unfortunately had to attend a breakfast at her house with him. When he tried to mention in front of Laurel that I was upset about what had happened, I just said "Yeah, I was. But I don't really want to talk about it" because her mother and sister were there. Her mom was the only one who would talk to me. She only spoke to Aaron. She was always telling him about how she wanted to get to know me and stuff, but she never tried.

Thanks for listening to me rant on here. I don't want to talk to him about it so much, because he gets sad. But he knows I made an effort. And that's all that really matters. I really tried, and for some stupid reason, I wanted for it to work out. I wanted for us to all go out and grab a bite to eat or something and be friends, but I always knew it was awkward. I don't know why I'm so bothered by this. I DIDN'T know her...so, I guess I'm upset that she's made me into some evil person that I'm not. If she feels I was attacking her because I asked her to not be alone with my boyfriend, then she's lost her freakin' mind because I'm pretty sure anybody would feel the same way. When I've talked to people about this and described what happened, NOBODY's told me that I was wrong. You're definitely right about her wanting to be the victim. It makes me sick when people do that.

I dunno. I need to move on and stop thinking about it. Just the more I think about it, the angrier I feel.

I definitely understand why its bothering you - even if you didnt know her really, the fact that she's thrown back your kind intentions and caused this whole situation between you, her and your boyfriend is hurtful and frustrating. But yeah, i agree that you should probably just try to put her out of your mind - she's a lost cause, and if she was only keeping your boyfriend around in the hopes that she could snag him or something, then maybe you're all better off this way. Its great that your boyfriend is solidly on your side of the whole thing, too. Hope you feel better about it all soon!

She sounds like a psycho. Don't worry about it. She upset you. That automatically makes her not worth your time. Dude, if I was PMSing, I would still come over BECAUSE OF THE CUPCAKES. You don't deserve to get shat on for being nice. Just don't worry about it. :)

Thanks. I've been trying not to think about her, because it honestly makes me just....want to scream. I'm nots ure why she acted as if I had done something wrong, because I think that ANYONE would have done the same thing in my situation.