I'm 24, and I've been planning a move with my dad and a friend out to Washington for going on a year now From my parents home.

Backstory is that my mom has always been physically and emotionally abusive towards me and my dad. Which is why we're going so far as from Indiana to Washington to escape her.

At this point in her life, my mom is physically disabled and expects me to care for her. My brother is more inclined to, but she chose me for the job and I want nothing to do with it?

I feel like a terrible person, because we're leaving like this. I've had a secret job as a PSO for going on seven months now, I've been saving up and I have enough put aside that even if my dad flakes on me I'll be fine. I make good money.

My mom owns her house and she gets disability and foodstamps.

But I am really hating myself for this, even knowing that if I stay my life will continue to be filled to the brim with panic attacks, ptsd flashbacks while taking care of a woman who has let me know from as far back as I remember that I am worthless and will amount to nothing.

- It's amazing that you and your dad finally had the courage to get away from the abuser! Great job!

Does your mom know where you guys are going to live? Does she have the knowledge to be able to track you guys down? My concern is she would become a stalker, unless her disability doesn't allow her to travel.

Don't feel bad about getting away from an abuser. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Tell her you don't want to take care of her. If you can't do this, I understand. It's nearly impossible to stand up against an abuser.

You might want to consider therapy. It can make a world of a difference. It definitely did for me.

My dad was physically and emotionally abusive towards me and my mom. She finally left him when I was 13, but she left me alone with him for a year. After I moved in with my mom (probably because the court forced her to do so), my dad constantly harassed me for our address. He stalked me at school and my mom at work. He actually found the right address and drove there, but didn't notice we were living there. Luckily, his health deteriorated to the point where he was bed ridden.

My mom has also been physically and emotionally abusive to me. I moved away last year and again last month. I never intend to live with her again. I still visit occasionally, but only talk about casual things.

Don't let your mom talk down to you ever again. You don't deserve that sort of treatment. You're worthy! :)

Her disabilities would make it incredibly difficult for her to travel. On top of this, she's massively overweight, around 400 lbs, and is at this point addicted to painkillers. All things that have really popped up in the last six years.

She does have a general idea of the state we're going to, from conversations she's tapped into, but I seriously doubt she knows the town or even address so that's a plus for me.

It's just that there's three weeks until the deal is sealed down and that is just enough time for her to find every way to guilt me and scare me.. she hasnt spoken to my brother yet that I know of, but the first hint I get of him coming near the house I'm either locking myself in my room or skipping to my friends house. he's something like 6'4'', with a history in football, soccer and MMA and he just has to look at me funny to scare the living crap out of me, which she knows and has used on me before

Sweetheart, you have to take care of yourself first and foremost before you can even consider caring for someone else. That being said, do what's best for you. If that means moving out, get out.

You'll feel better for it. I went through the same thing cutting a part of my "family" off because there was nothing but emotional abuse and threats from them, while they expected me to be all loving and kind. It doesn't work that way.

- That's a bit of a relief. I hope she never finds out your exact location.

So your brother is like your mom's henchman? Does he have the means to find out your location? Don't let him control you either. He may look intimidating, but if you can be stern and let him know you're not afraid, he should back off.

Can you stay over at your friend's house until you move?

Is there some way you could move in with a friend or other family member until you actually make the move? Your mother sounds like a toxic person to be around and I hope you don't let her get you to stay. You shouldn't feel guilty about getting away from a person like that - just because she's your mother doesn't give her the right to treat you the way she does. The same goes for your brother. Shared blood does not mean that you owe the person anything. I wish you the best and I'll keep you in my prayers.