Okay, well, sorry for the wall of text.

It's very hard for me to talk about this, but if I don't do something now, I won't be able to deal with it any longer. I think I should start saying I'm 16 and my parents are divorced. Nothing weird about that, yup. But my relationship with my dad is a disaster. He's been in and off from my life, he hates the fact I'm an artist. He hates the fact I'm "different". He thinks I'm weird for having a mania (trichotillomania). I think he's ashamed of me. We've argued a lot, but recently, I can't stand him anymore. He has a son wih another woman. And he totally loves him more than me. He even told me, that now he has my brother, me being apart is not such a bad thing anymore. I discovered a few weeks ao he went to USA to visit my granfather (who I love a lot and haven't seen in years). I was n vacation, and my own grandfather called me asking why I wasn't with my dad there. I got accepted in the university just a few weeks ago, and, while my friends and relatives greeted me, called me, and everything, all he did was... Like my publication. I couldn't call him (because, yes, he was in vacations with his lovely family in the USA for two weeks) but I did called my grandfather who was with him, and told him to told my father too. When he finally said something to me, was when I greeted him for his birthday some days after it.

I commited mistakes, I hurted him, and I know that, so I apologized, he said it was alright, and I thought it really would be but, it's the same as always, he's acting like a child, he's dramatic, his whole life is a drama. I just can't stand it. I just can't. He says hoooow much he loves me, and how important I am for him but, really? He barely calls me, and after treating me like a stupid (he called me imbecile, and laughed in my face), I just got sick of that so I stopped going out with him.

I had to go under two surgerys (both of them last year), and in one of them I had a high risk of having cancer (50%). I had to wait one month for the surgery, and one week for the results after it. He wasn't with me all the time. Making it worst, I was on summer vacations, so taking me out, or even calling me wasn't that difficult, you know? I just felt like he didn't care. (but when mt little brother had a little infection in his eye, he woudln't move to look after him).

I feel stupid, for everything, I don't know if I love him anymore, I don't want to see him anymore, but it hurts me too much. As I'm writing this, he's coming to my house, and I have no idea of what to say. If someone could give me some kind of idea, I would be really gratefully. But I can't start saying how I feel, because he'll start saying is all my fault and my mother's.

Thank you

- I hope your surgeries were successful!

You're not stupid. None of this is your fault. Your father is neglecting you because he is a terrible parent.

I think you could benefit from seeing a therapist. The unfortunate thing is a parent may have to know about your trips to the therapist (depending on how the laws are where you're from). Talk to your mom about seeing someone. I would not say anything to your father.

Your father sounds like my mom. She always cared for her sister, nieces, and nephews more than me. I was never good enough for her because I wasn't a girly girl. She preferred shopping over spending time with me. While I understand it was to get away from my abusive father, it's no excuse to leave me to be abused by him. She yelled at me for everything. She says many hurtful things. She doesn't appreciate my positive outlook on people and on life. She was against my relationship with my boyfriend for no reason until recently.

Despite all of this, she still takes care of me sometimes. She gives me food and will take care of me when I'm sick. We can also talk for very short periods of time every week or two. I just have to be boring and not say anything "offensive".

I don't love her and I don't know if I ever can. I've gotten over trying to salvage the relationship. I'll always care a little just because she does nice things sometimes. But, I care about my boyfriend and friends much more.

It's okay to not love a father who doesn't love you. You can try and try again to salvage the relationship, but if he doesn't care about you, there's nothing you can do to save it. Maybe one day, he can realize how badly he messed up... or not. Do your best to become less emotionally attached to him. It's a painful process, but it's for your sake.

Thank you so much! 6 tumors in total, but they were sucesfully removed, and hopefully nothing dangerous at the end (: Also, I'm really sorry about your mom!

He's not terrible with my brother, in fact he's a perfect dad for him but doesn't cares much about me (haven't paid my school, wich him and my mom used to pay together, this whole year), that's what makes me more angry. He thinks loving someone is the same as "giving presents".

My mom took me to one, and it worked, for a while (when I was little). Things got worse after he moved here again.

When I was sick and that, the doctors told us (my mom make him go with me) that, if it was cancer, it would be advanced and too big, and I'd had little chances of making it because of it's size. And, yet, he didn't care about visiting me... Afer all the bad things passed, he said he was "so scared of loosing me" and he felt it was his faul (his mom died from the type of cancer they though I migh had). If he was different, I migh have believed him but... :/

I also care about my friends much more than my dad. I found him in my schools kermesse, but I was way more exited with finsing my littler brother and some other friends...

I already tried, a lot, but I must admit I'm awfully weak a that. I have depression, usually I'm okay and that but I always have this feeling of "its al your fault", so it really doesn't helps either. I'll still try to do so, though.

And thank you so much!

- Wow... that's awesome that all of your tumors were removed! :)

My mom also thinks giving presents is love. She used to only say "I love you" if I give her money. :( Now that I moved out, she says it even when I don't give her money, but I don't believe her.

Even though your father takes care of your brother, I still consider him a terrible parent. A good parent usually has a favorite child, but they don't neglect their non favorites or treat their favorites better than the non favorites.

Is there any way to have him not go to your house? Can you talk to your mom about how you feel about him? Being around him isn't healthy for you. You need time to heal.

Definitely see if you can go to therapy again. If it helped you before, it can help you again. I was in therapy for most of last year to help me with depression and anxiety. It and medication made a world of a difference! I had to stop going due to money constraints, but I was doing great. When I had to move back into my mom's, I relapsed and almost completely destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend. Going back to therapy is helping me control my anger (my main issue this time around).

I know the "it's all my fault" feeling. I used to blame myself for every little thing. Now, I realize the majority of things are not my fault. Like with my mom, the way she is isn't my fault. It's the same with your father. He's the one who's choosing to neglect you. It's not your fault!