So found out my brother gives absolutely no shits about the dog that my mother had as part of the family for more than half my life and most of his. He's turning into a little douchebag and forgetting everything mom has ever taught us. he even insulted me for living in a bigger place and not his tiny mountain town where "everybody knew each other" and no one ever questions one another, even if they should(my dad received nothing but full support from the people around us when he pulled me off my "unnatural" antidepressant medication). He makes all sorts of nasty jokes and talks in a way that would get him slapped if mom was still here, and he thinks of himself as becoming a "playa" and that it is okay to be like that. He talks about women like they're not quite people. "all women want the same thing" and i think he's actually starting to believe that crap dad used to spew and probably still does when i'm not here that my medicine is going to kill me because it isn't natural and the unregulated "natural" suppliments he takes(literally anything with the word supplement is a gift from god no matter what it is, and should be taken in as many high amounts as you can guzzle down until your pee turns green(again, literally)).

He used to love getting soda candies and the asian sodas, now he tells me not to bring him more asian stuff. Little things i get him are ignored after 5 minutes, and he acts like, just, a douchebag.

I've lost the dog who was practically mom's third child, i didn't even get to say goodbye. My crazy aunt who i rent a room from now threw out all my stuffed animals. I can't replace them because even if i get the exact same ones, they still weren't the ones who knew mom.Now i've lost my brother too. It's like i'm losing every connection i had to my mother. And it is hard.

How old is your brother? He honestly just sounds like your average teenager, and the best you can do is hope he grows out of it. I feel like everybody goes through a phase where they push their family away and kind of act like a rebellious dick for a while. For most people, it isn't severe, and it passes. I definitely went through an 'UGH all men want the same thing', buying-into-everything-my-parents-said phase before realizing how dumb that was.

Like the soda thing sounds like a 16-year-old hearing that liking Asian stuff makes you an uncool weeaboo or something, so now he's insecure and doesn't want them anymore.

So don't worry too much. I don't think you're 'losing' anyone. I just hope he learns to get past the worst of his habits. I'm also sorry about the antidepressant situation. I hope you're close to 18, so you can make those decisions for yourself :|

I'm actually 24. it was hard for a while because at the end of the day my father is bigger and stronger than i am and could physically take them from me, that alone was intimidating. I moved out a year ago and am doing better now. You're probably right, he's going through that contrary phase. I went through it a lot earlier than he did, but we've had some trying times.

I feel honestly, very lost, when i think about all the things that mom was a part of that are now broken up. I hardly hear from her friends anymore, and it seems like everything she tried to leave the world with is disappearing or being thrown away one by one.

I try the best i can to keep the things i learned from her in mind. I may be cheap but that doesn't mean i have to be selfish. If we don't take care of each other, who will, you know?

Honestly, your brother sounds like he's becoming such a sexist douche... that isn't "normal" behavior and it really shouldn't be something you just have to "power through" because hopefully he'll go through this "phase". He's making the atmosphere toxic for you. Grieving is good, but when you're hurting others in the process, you seriously have something wrong with you. Don't let anyone make excuses for him.

I know how hard it can be to let go or try to distance yourself from family members who act in abusive ways. It's courageous of you to try and keep everyone together and as a cohesive unit even with everything going on. Sometimes, unfortunately, you just need the distance. You can still utilize everything your mother has taught you. You can strive to be the good that she was. You don't need to succumb to the social pressures that might try to reason that certain values include sticking to toxic environments.

I'm sorry to hear so many bad things are going on in your life. It is nice to hear you are trying to keep things going as good as possible. Hopefully your efforts pay off in the long run.

Do you know where your mom is buried?