It is such a long story that has spanned over a few years now and I have come to subeta for advice in the past but I'm here again.

Things have been really well for me so far this year, things have been brilliant even! But I want to stop been friends with someone I know very well and have been friends with them for a good few years now.

He was an ex but some things happened and we broke up. We entered an open relationship and I started having a sexual partner with another friend. This caused problems for my at the time BF and we broke up. I started seeing that other person but things went incredibly sour and he ended up leaving me without a word (He never even broke up with me, he just suddenly started ignoring me one day and I haven't spoke to him since) By this time I had entered uni and was going into my second year, it would prove to be really tough since I required a hip replacement, but along with that and uni work my friend started seeing a girl.

This made me jealous and resulted in me making one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made, I told the friend I still had feelings for him (because I did, it was true). If only he had said he didn't feel the same way anymore and ended the friendship then :/

He started to cheat on his girlfriend with me and for a long time (over a year) I just accepted it. Many times I asked him to choose between us, it's not fair on either me or his girl friend. I couldn't move on from him and many times I said it is either her or me but I was not strong enough to keep to what I said we ended up submitting to the old habits again.

Eventually I really was getting tired and falling out of love (Or lust?) with him and he was meant to be going on holiday with his girlfriend in a few months so I told him it really had to stop. I then felt really free, I dunno, I just didn't feel that attachment to him anymore. I felt like I could actually have a relationship with someone again. I entered a relationship with a friend from uni last month and he makes me very happy.

My friend owed me a trip to the cinema and dinner, so he came to mine to stay the night (since I lived away from home) we went to cinema, had dinner, everything was going well. And then I started drinking.... Oh how I wish I hadn't =A= I got very drunk, maybe drunk much quicker than normal I can't be sure. I'm not sure how it happened but he did assault me, I remember just accepting it, laying on the bed and just taking it. I figured if I just accept it, it'd be easier for me.

I acted like it never happened the next day, I couldn't help but glare at him occasionally. And I just buried it in my mind till my boyfriend managed to pry it out of me. It really upset him, now it just adds to his worries which I didn't want to do.

So I don't want to be friends with the guy anymore. He sends me facebook messages acting like everything is okay. I told him today I no longer wanted to be friends. OH did I mention how after he messaged me he said we shouldn't talk anymore? He he suddenly gets confused over his feelings for me and that he wants to kill these feelings?

And now he tires to guilt trip me by saying things like (and I quote) "i will admit i was never fully over you and that wasn't cos we was still friends cos when you love someone properly you never get over them it just shows you only ever use people when its right for you cos my feeling never seem to get included when talking with you" "you will know why im on medication not to kill anyone and have to pretend to be fucking happy for you just to make sure you don't get depressed you cheating bitch"

Now I am generally worried he might do something to himself or others. He says I ruined his life.

I didn't want to tell anyone he abused me, I even told my BF not to bring it up again.

What am I meant to do now? Everything was going well and now he does this :/ He won't let me not be friends without doing things like this and this is what he meant by when I tell him he guilt trips.

I just want to cry.

was a little hard to follow your story without names and only going by 'he' and the like.... But if he had sex with you without your consent, that IS rape and you should report it. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It might have been poor judgment to go out with your ex (if I understood correctly), but what happened was not your fault. Don't let him, or anyone, try to make you feel guilty for something you weren't able to control. Cutting this guy out of your life completely seems like the best option. I've been in a similar place and I know it can be hard to drop someone you've known for a while no matter what happened but sometimes it's for the best. If you want to message me, I can probably help more. I'm not the best with advice but I'm a terrific listener. Keep your head up. ❤️

Thank you for your kind message c: I have had a super busy long weekend at a convention so I am sorry for the reply taking so long!

Also, sorry for not making things very clear. I didn't really want or like using names, even fake names.

I think it was very poor judgement on my part with a lot of the decisions I made involving my ex :/

Because we have the same friends too, it makes it very hard to cut him out of my life or reporting the incident. Ultimately, I wasn't physically hurt, it would me my word against his and there is no DNA evidence of it happening anymore. I feel reporting it would just cause a lot more heartache for me and for my friends and family.

I really do want to cut him out of my life, I really need to make this clear to him which he doesn't seem to understand. It must be hard for him too, and it is toxic for us both, it makes us both feel pretty crappy. I wish he could understand this would be the best for us both.

It's absolutely horrible that this has happened to you. You certainly don't deserve to be treated like this, and it's good that you aren't going to accept that treatment. I kind of understand what you mean about not wanting to report him, and without the DNA evidence it would just be your word against his, which would make things difficult and much harder. I still feel that he should be reported, but that is entirely your decision.

The next best thing i can tell you to do is to get yourself a restraining order against him. He gets too close, he gets in trouble. That ought to keep him away. I really think this would be a very good idea for you. I know you care a lot about what your friends would think since you have the same friends, but this is so very important for you. Just make sure that they know you aren't trying to ruin his reputation or anything, and that they don't have to choose between the two of you.

Block him on facebook and go about looking for a new job. You don;t have to quit before hand, just get out there and get serious about finding something else. Just get away from him, and make sure he can't hurt you emotionally or physically anymore.

He doesn't need to understand for you to cut him out of your life. If he doesn't, then that's all of the more reason to get yourself away from him. You just have to think of yourself and your safety before him.

I'm so, so so so sorry this has happened to you, and I wish you the very best, and that some of this will work for you. I hope you're alright, this kind of thing can be so bad for people. Good luck!