First of all, I'm so sorry about your loss :/ hug I've recently been in a similar situation, and the feeling of having lost everything is the worst. You're not stupid for doing this, at all. You did something really good for yourself, you got out of a situation which wasn't good for you and into something which helped you feel much better and that is a good thing, and certainly not something you should feel guilty about. It's a shame that it didn't last with Taylor, but if he feels the way you do about him, then you can hopefully never say never. Distance can change things a lot even in strong relationships.

I think it would be good if you just focused on yourself for a while. It's really tough now, but it can only get better from here. You just need to get through Friday, and hopefully have a good time despite all this.

I want to write more, but I can't think of more to write. I'm here if you want someone to talk to :)

You're better off without either of them, to be honest. Mister Taylor is obviously unable and, more importantly, unwilling to leave his actual girlfriend to try anything else with you despite what you say about having an immediate connection with him and the fact that he's upset about it, too. Apparently. You can't blame Alex for having been jealous, either, despite his apparent approval of the open relationship. You can't expect a guy to immediately rescind all of the jealous bones in his body -- when he'd said, "who're you going to do things with?" like that, and probably with a certain tone of voice, it definitely would've raised red flags in my head and I wouldn't have replied immediately with an answer. Come on now! Open relationships are hard for consenting adults and there's a level of trust that cannot be cemented for... eight months.

Yep, better off without either of them.

Good for you getting out of a bad relationship with such an immature person! That much jealousy in a relationship can never amount to anything good. I'm not sure about the Taylor situation. You say that you feel such a strong connection to him and that you guys have such an incredible spark in your relationship, and yet he was able to leave you to please his girlfriend. Your relationship with him is not as important to him as it is to you. It's time for you to focus inward on yourself. You broke up an unhealthy relationship and had a great rebound. Now do the things you like to do, and enjoy the time you have to yourself. Watch a movie, eat good food, take bubble baths, hang out with friends, etc. I know the breakup is the worst thing in the world, but I promise that you'll make it through. (ノ゜ω゜)ノ

Thank you hugs I know, I really am glad I'm out of that shit with Alex. And god I'm so thankful for Taylor. I would be a lot worse off if I had no one to go to and that was there to hold me and make me feel okay. I'm going to friend request you in case I need to talk, it means a lot.

I do truly believe Taylor is upset about what's going on, but I also know he doesn't want to leave Kailey for the fear of what she might do to herself as she's threatened it before. I do feel like I could/should be better without both of them but there's such a longing inside me for Taylor and how he makes me feel. I just don't want him to disappear.

I think it's quite funny that he's older than me but has the maturity of a middle schooler, maybe freshman. That part makes me partially embarrassed that I wasted so much time on him. Yeah, I've been trying a lot harder to hang out with my friends and spend more time with them, and they help a lot. I spend most of my nights in bed watching netflix and vegging so that's something I haven't done in awhile because I've been literally so stressed out about Alex's life - not even my own. Thank you uwu

Oh, I've gotten that one before! "She's hurt, she isn't very strong mentally and I don't want to push her emotionally,.." blahblahblah. My only advice to you about him, since I've had a Taylor of my own sort, is to definitely keep your distance. Trust me in that if you think you two can be together intimately, you should start treasuring him as a friend while he's emotionally vested in this Kailey girl!

Yeah that's basically the situation with her. I do want to just be friends with him if that's what it has to be, that's just nearly impossible as well because of Kailey.

Update to this whole situation: I texted him last night after midnight, since that's when Kailey goes home, and said something along the lines of "I'm sorry I know we aren't supposed to be talking but I'm restless and I just wanted to say I miss you and I wish we could've seen each other tonight." He asked me to come over, so of course I did and we hung out in his bed until 4:30. Needless to say I'm currently at school and running off of 45 minutes of sleep. Tonight is still happening, and he's dropping money off before work for me to order Chinese food so we have it when he comes over at 10. I'm really looking forward tonight, but I wrote this 3200 word thing about all of my feelings and I plan on showing it to him... god help me.

... I'm not at all saying you're a bad person cause I totally get how these things happen, but if he is refusing to break up with this girl but is still having you come over after she leaves and sneaking around with you, that's real shitty. He needs to break up with her, or stop doing this with you. Think about how awful that girl would feel to find all this stuff out. He is literally pretending to love her and then saying he loves you too. And, do you really think that he would be faithful to you if he broke up with her and then started dating you? I have known a lot of friends who got into this kind of thing, dating a guy who had a gf hoping it would go somewhere, but in every situation, it doesn't work out. I'm sorry but if a relationship starts out with a person cheating on someone else their with, it's not romantic, it's not cute, and it's not going to work. I mean, show me someone who has had a very long lasting relationship from that and I'll admit I'm wrong, I guess, but so far EVERY person I've known (and it really has been a lot), it just hasn't worked.

I sincerely hope things are going well for you--it sounds like you've had a rough time lately!

That being said--proceed with caution! I'm glad you found somebody you truly connect with. Believe me when I say I've personally experienced how difficult it is to find a truly electric relationship. This guy, though, sounds like he wants the best of both worlds and he has got himself into a world of a mess. He sounds like the type of guy who isnt ready to be in a committed relationship with somebody. He probably loves aspects of you AND his girlfriend, but he's thinking too much of just himself to show either of you the respect they deserve by choosing what he wants.

Does he want a committed relationship? Great. He should either a) pursue you alone or b) tell his girlfriend the truth. Does he want an open relationship? Great. He should a) tell his girlfriend the truth or b) ditch the girlfriend and pursue an open with you

He's got a lot of work ahead of him! Be careful in the meantime!

<3

Don't know how things are going for you now but I hope you are not as upset as when this first started! Hopefully things are going better for you. I do believe you did the right thing getting out of the relationship with your first boyfriend. I find it extremely hypocritical that he would call you immature and he's the one breaking up over a text shakes head I wouldn't take anything he said personally, boys do get jealous when they know there's another guy that's already caught your interest. I would be more upset with the fact that he broke up over a text instead of manning up and doing it in person, but I'm gonna assume you guys are still young.

The second relationship you were in I would find more concerning. I think it's great that you had your fling with a guy that you really liked and connected with that could fulfill what you were missing from your last relationship. However, I would treat it as just that - a fling. Red flags pop up when you say he was cheating on his girlfriend with you. When a guy cheats on his girlfriend of 2 years, he's not ready to be a honest and trusting relationship with a girl. Even if he did leave his girlfriend for you, there's gonna come a time where he will cheat on you for another girl and suddenly you're in the same position as his current girlfriend. There are plenty of other guys out there you are going to find and connect with, I would move on and stay away from both guys. Remember, just how there are more guys out there that you can connect with, there will be more girls out there for him to connect with and if he's cheated in a long term relationship, he'll do it again if he gets "bored"

Currently things are still the same, Taylor and I had our "last night" but, as I somewhat knew would happen, nothing stopped or changed. We still see each other every night he's at his dad's house and even though I still wish his girlfriend was able to fade from the picture, I'm not inclined to do anything about it. I feel like if I can ride this out until the school year starts again, things could come back around to the way we were when his girlfriend wasn't home. She's going back to college up north again, while he's staying here. I don't know, I'm really just watching it on a day-to-day basis with no intentions of doing anything else.

You need to ask yourself if this is what you really want. Are you okay with being the other girl and not a girlfriend? As much as you say Taylor is perfect for you and is honest, he's still a young guy and boys will be boys. Think of it this way, if you're still coming around knowing he's in a relationship then why would he break up with his girlfriend? Now he has a girl back home and a girl away from home. That's like most young guys' dreams. I don't know what he tells you, but I'm sure he's doing the same things if not more with his girlfriend that he does with you, otherwise she would be suspicious. I personally wouldn't be ok knowing the guy I like is also getting together with another woman. I would find someone better, but that's up to you to decide.

You want real words of advice?

Get out, grow up and move on. It's as simple as that. Someone who cheats once is someone who will very likely do it again. Do you think he actually loves you? Most likely not. If he's willing to cheat on someone else he will probably cheat on you. It really is that simple.

Tbh, I don't care what kind of responses you've decided you don't want to hear. The truth hurts. You wrote about how suspicious she was getting, etc. You made it sound like you cared more about yourself than the guy's actual girlfriend. She would have been hurt and betrayed and the way you wrote your post makes it seem like you cared more about yourself than her. That says a lot, especially since you said you don't want to hear about how you did something terrible. Again, the truth hurts and you know what? You need to hear the truth, not something softened to make you feel better.

So yeah, the only advice you should listen to is to get out, grow up and move on. If a guy's in a relationship with someone else and you know he is, don't get into a relationship with him. It's understandable if you find out later, but then you should immediately leave because he's scum (and you should tell his girlfriend).