So theres this guy we've been friends for about 6 and a half years now and we have always been very close but over the past year we had hooked up and things were fine we were simply friends with benefits and such it was going good but then something happened with his living situation and he had to move in with me and my other friend it was ok at first but then we started having horrible volatile fights with one another saying horrible things on both ends.but we would make up and things would be ok,he was gone for a few months and now is back we didnt leave on the best terms but we talked about this while he was gone and i was hoping we would be able to work through it things were going good but then it started off with a stupid fight he left for a night or two came back and we made up but later that night we had another fight and things got slightly physical now he didnt beat me up nor did i beat him up but there was shoving involved now no matter how bad the fight has got things have NEVER gotten physical before..we haven't been around each other much since then maybe a day but should I even try to save whatever we have is it worth it? can we ever get past that..im so confused

I'm not blaming any specific person because there's not enough info there to know who's at fault, and tbh it doesn't even matter - something between you two is toxic, and you won't be able to get through that without counseling. A friends with benefits relationship is not worth money to save, even if you did have 6 years of normal friendship under your belt. Dating and moving in are both things that can change any friendship for the worse, and I think that's what happened.

Just tell him there's bad chemistry between you and you both need permanent space to avoid remembering each other as something neither one of you like.

Superficial contact with other friends is fine if you think they'll help you avoid conflict, but avoid long-term contact (a whole day out together alone) or sharing a roof.

thank you very much for the advice I genuinely appreciate it . Its probably the most real anyone has been about it and these are people I see daily. I would hate to think that our friendship is toxic but clearly it is. Space is much needed its just hard since we mainly have all the same friends but in the long run we gotta do what's right for us

I agree. Things getting physical means that something is HUGELY wrong in the relationship. Maybe it's a lack of respect or maybe it's something else. Only you can really know. But either way, I would definitely take a break from the relationship if nothing else.

We have been spending time apart.. I'm happier i think its a good thing

Friends with benefits is not something you can really maintain if living under the same roof in my opinion. It totally different to see each other from time to other versus living in the same space all the time. When you go from like limited contact to full and constant contact and the relationship isn't solid, it shows you the flaws like as if they were magnified and highlighted for the blindest person to see. And if it gets out of hand aka physically you need to recognize when it is time to call quits. There is a difference between pushing a partner gently as a joke to full out shoving during a fight.

This is very true. I haven't been home in about 10 days now crashing on other peoples couches and what not but i have to go back sooner or later.Im not really sure how this is going to play out..

@ clatskani Perhaps you should talk with your other friend about telling fwb guy he needs to move out by X date. It's not healthy for you to have to avoid your own home.

you know you are right I shouldn't have to avoid my home or well where im supposed to be able to rest my head and in all reality he wouldn't even be living there if it wasn't for me you are correct I think I shall