For someone I know I can never have.

I'm demisexual, really bordering on asexual, so it is very rare for me to ever develop an attraction for someone, but when I do, it hits hard. And this one that I've developed over the past year has hit me the hardest. And the person I seem to have fallen for is someone I would have never expected. At all.

I am infatuated with a woman who is 24 years older than me. She is married with children, and she is Pentecostal.

She also happens to be my boss.

Weird, right? Well, some say that it's human nature, no matter who it is. The heart wants what the heart wants.

I guess I've always had this thing for dominant people, especially those of social dominance. Like, the only other person I really ever had a crush on was a teacher, but it died when I was no longer her student. But this one that I have now is so much more.

She is the sweetest, most down-to-earth and gentle soul that I've ever known. We have so much chemistry too, it's ridiculous. I'm fairly certain that she knows how I feel about her, and sometimes she's very flirtatious -- I'm sure it's purely to tease me, which I know is cruel, but I don't complain.

I know there are so many boundaries there, and I'm not stupid enough to violate those boundaries. I just felt like venting the frustration.

How badly have you ever wanted someone that you can't have?

Oh man, I feel for you. Will chocolate help? I'm not being facetious, it has good hormones in it.

I'm the same way. I feel nothing for anyone until THAT ONE PERSON walks by and you just :'l

Mine isn't so much can't have like THAT, but more can't have as in "I'll never have the nerve to talk to this person, they're too popular and I'm too nerdy."

Anyhow, In third grade, I had a crush on some kid that kept breaking his stupid arms. I swear he was seriously the most calcium-deficient person I have ever met.

In the moment, I felt a horrible wave of the worst amount of empathy and compassion for this poor, stupid child, but after I got over it twelve years later, I realized what an idiot he must have been to have gone to the same ski slope, did the same run on the same snowboard, did the same fall, and broke the same limb SO. MANY. TIMES. At one point, he had BOTH arms in casts up to the shoulder. He did totally attempt to ski with a broken arm and broke the other one, I'm not even lying. He had pictures. It was ridiculous.

You'd think you'd decide maybe that particular slope was somewhat above your level at some point, but nope. I went to that school for two and a half years, and as far as I know, his arms are still broken.

I know those feels. It only makes it worse when you know you can't have them - it's like a torture that leads to more torture. I relate, but in my case, I had that person at one point, then she was with someone else, and the whole time I was mad for her. Shit, I still get a little emotional if I think about it too much.

And Jesusfuck, I had SO many intense crushes in elementary school. They bordered on obsessions. Kind of not the same thing, but still!

I definitely know what that's like. There was a guy I really like dofr several years, and thought over that time we were really great friends, I was afraid of moving forward and seeing if there was anything there for him too. I was told he would flirt with me, but i never really was good with telling that kind of thing. So nothing ever happened with it. I suppose in the long run it didnt really matter. The guy I'm with now is very kind and sweet, even when he's picking on me and such. THe guy i used to have a thing for is kind of rude and obnoxious now. He's not really the same person i used to know.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, and it's cruel that she would flirt with you. I hope everything works out alright :)

I get crushes on people in bands and tv shows. -_-; Like some of the guys from Sea Shepherd (Whale Wars) are just so damn brave and intelligent and I'm just like GOD why can't we meet. And then the guys from Celtic Woman, the drummers and dancers, I just fawn over like a 13-year-old fangirl. I actually got to meet a few of them (ONE LAST NIGHT THAT I'M STILL HOLY SHIT HYPER ABOUT) and they were SO nice and ever better-looking in person and I just KNOW that if we could have talked longer, there might have been something there. Or maybe that's just my inner-idiot-fangirl speaking.

I did have a crush on someone irl once though, someone that was probably out of my league anyways...and even though my friend knew about it...she still decided to make him her fwb. She and I are still friends, but it was pretty cold for a while. I'm still kind of angry about it.

All I can say is I feel bad for you, really :/. I never really experienced the whole 'I cant have you even though I have feelings thing.' But I have experienced the whole 'Im dating you but in my gut I know Ill never have you even though you love me because your taking in no consideration for my feelings, and such.'

Hopefully it works out for you.