I haven't gotten a chance to log on much for the past few months, so I don't exactly remember WHY I look like a hideous cake monster, but it would be wonderful if one of you could enlighten me on how to fix this.

What you have is a disease from the latest zombie infection plot. You can use a Bottled Antilovirus to cure yourself.

Or if it's too expensive, you can create the bottle by going here with 50 candy hearts and 1 liquid-filled potion.