ARGH. STOP READING NOW IF YOU DONT LIKE ANGRY RANTS.

Okay... so there's this girl. Wait lets get some background on her:

Her name's Tessa and most people dont like her ( me OBVIOUSLY included) because she whines and dresses like a whore. She dated my ex (whos my best friend) and acted like she was the shit cuz of it. The reason I hae her though, is because she told my ex to HATE ME and IGNORE ME because she thought I was a threat to the relationship.

Anyways, so I found out my ex-boyfriend got BACK TOGETHER with Tessa. Because he felt bad for her. I freaked out on him and yelled rather bad thinsg about her (bad things = not the point ;) )

Now... I decided to check his FB page and it says, from Tessa (exact words): hey martin, if ur worried about me and breanna not getting along dont worry i dont mind if u guys r friends ill let u see her and be fine with u hanging with her too, i really really like u martin!

And my response was: Jesus... 'ill let you see her' emphasis on the ILL LET YOU .. no offense tessa... but you ARENT his mother.. you cant pick his friends... id like to say more, ALOT MORE.. but im shutting up for martin's sake :)

So... I'm just pissed. Any bitchy girl stories you wanna share?

i dunno why you are so angry with the girl really. it's his relationship and you've certainly not said anything upstanding to warrant my positive opinion of you (not that you asked).

tessa obviously is attempting to make it work the second time around. whats your problem?

...Jealousy is not cute. Um, I don't see the issue. He's her boyfriend, she can do what she wants. Sounds like you were kind of bitchy to HER, in your last response. She's trying to be nice to you, and everyone knows that the whole ex issue can be awkward.

Oh god, I know a girl like her. XD My boyfriend dated a girl like her, before we started going out. He only went out with her because she was threatening to KILL HERSELF because she didn't have a boyfriend. She was really clingy. It was horrible (but pretty hilarious to watch, since he and I were just friends at this point).

I don't really understand why the others are not seeing an issue with it. It sounds like she's just trying to manipulate him.

Well, the problem is that she cant choose who his friends are. Im glad they are trying to make it work, and quite honestly I dont care if they date. But when you try to rip my best friend out of my life, thats crossing the line.

And ugh... I hate people who use their boyfriend/girlfriend.

i can think of numerous reasons. which one(s) do you want?

thing is -- it's a two-way street. if your relationship is strong with ex-bf... then no amount of tearing is going to rip apart your relationship. so why worry?

aaaah... there's the rub.....

Eh, I hate it when relationships break friendships apart like that. The way I see it... if she has enough confidence in her relationship with him, she won't feel a need to be so controlling. If you two are good friends and nothing more, then you have every right to be upset, especially if you two have a very close bond... if he's willing to brush you off for this girl, then maybe he's not worth the stress you're putting yourself through. If he really wants you in his life, then he will make that happen, regardless of what she says. She should just be happy she's got him and she shouldn't be so controlling unless she has a good reason to worry... and in that case, she should consider moving on because someone who would sneak around like that is no good to be with.

Yeah, it's basically one vicious cycle... very tricky to be in. Stand your ground... don't say anything else bitchy towards her or about her. That will make problems worse... but don't let her take away your friend, unless he's that whipped. Yeah. I don't know how to explain it anymore. xD

Hotleray: It's not being protective what you're doing, it's not trusting each other. xD

Give him a freaking break. I don't mind if my boyfriend hangs out with 10,000 girls, I know he'll be faithful.

You obviously don't trust him

and when you break up, he'll call you psycho.

lol... i like how you feel you are the authority on relationships.

it's sad that you play games with your boyfriend in order to 'teach' him a lesson. it's even more sad that you feel justified in denying him friendships (regardless of gender) as if you have the right and privilege to do so.

if you are an outstanding couple as per your pre-marriage counselor, i'd hate to see the other couples.

lemme know what your relationship status is in 5 years. god willing, you'll refrain from having children until then.

HerDarkMaterials - It seems like from what you posted that you're not being very nice to her but if it is as you say that she's trying to start a riff between you and your best friend then I suggest you take the higher ground and not fight with her. If he really is your best friend and is really worth keeping he won't allow someone to come between his friendship with you.

HotelRay - Putting a bird in a cage only makes it want to fly free more.

that is a game.

so? anyone can make a book.

lol. whatever makes you sleep at night.

oh yeah? out of curiosity, can you quickly inform me of the class rank of any of the doctors you are referring to? :/

on a serious note, just because someone is a doctor does not necessarily make the information accurate, applicable or relevant. besides, an appeal to authority is a pretty typical fallacy when it comes to proving a point.

hmmm, i didn't think i was fighting with anyone... especially with HDM. in fact, my statements to HDM was honest, well thought out and constructive. i think that it would be best to become familiar with my style of posting before thinking that i am attacking.

in so far as authority goes, it is something referred to as 'conscious bias' in which you search for support to your claims by accepting equally fitting information and discarding the rest.

i'm not saying that joel osteen (for example) is a bad person for causing people to become motivated by his statements.... but certainly no one can claim that he is the authority on X. certain people are moved by his words because they are of that type... whereas others discard his point of view for equally biased reasons.

of course it happens. do i think that because X happens, i need to ensure that it never happens to me by building up walls?

drought, war, burglaries, etc happen.... are you equally prepared?

Boy/girlfriends trying to control who you are friends with, especially if you've been friends for ages, is a big no-no for me.

I would hold off on bitching back at her though...more flies with honey and all that...

As for the side argument going on, not being allowed to have friends of the opposite sex if you are in a serious relationship is the STUPIDEST ASS THING I have ever heard. I suppose if I go off and get emotional support from one of my girl friends, I must be turning into a lesbian and my relationship is in danger. No. Some people are just friends. Friends are supposed to be your emotional support. I guess some people just have the willpower to know where to draw the line, and some don't. ;)

Plus, psychology is a fake science. Dx I could probably easily find you just as many books saying that its perfectly ok for guys and gals to be friends while in a relationship.

it is odd that you claim my statements are 'assuming the worst'. i'm not the one worried about potential affairs in my relationships. ;)

lol... so i should share my personal experiences in order to prove otherwise? i don't think so. ;)

that's a conscious bias. great example!

the problem in your example isn't the lack of money... it is about money management. this is where you and i split in the discussion. i see the problem one way. you clearly see it another.

what i think is helpful about our back-and-forth is that it clearly shows two differing sides to the problem posted.

[edit]

relationships shouldn't forgo friendships for them to work.

hotleray, your views of a (married) relationship are honestly quite frightening. i know that in your brain, you see it as legitimate and sound... and i suppose that is alright to a point. but the description of the (future) relationship just isn't practical or real. it is fanciful... hopeful at best.

there is nothing wrong with seeing yourself and your mate as a single unit in so far as decisions go toward the couple. but to think that other additional friendships no longer matter at the sake of the married relationship -- that's just beyond scary.

i promise you that it is impossible to keep that sort of mentality going for your partner. like i said in my earlier post.... let me know how things are 5 years after you are married.

What books can possibly say that people in relationships can't have friends of the opposite sex? Seriously, give me a title or two. Because this sounds really destructive.

It might be that your relationship works fine , but I doubt every serious relationship on earth should follow this. I know I would feel incredible mistrusted and trapped if my boy had said anything about who I could hang out with. And we're pretty serious, best friends and talk about a future together.

And as says, "

As for the Tessa girl (first post), at least she admits she doesn't want to stop your guys' friendship. And that's good. I've seen enough jealous girls who completely forbid their boyfriends to talk to other girls.

All relationships work differently. At least it's good you guys have an open communication.

She sounds bitchy. The 'I'll let you thing' pretty much shows the type of person she is. Tough, it's their relationship and you're acting a bit jealous.

Lol, a relationship like that is not going to last, good luck being an insane control freak. xD