if a man finds u attractive, u cannot be friends
Replies
i read this just now and i'd like to get a female point of view.
<ol>
<li>The guy is gay</li>
<li>The guy does not find you attractive</li>
<li>The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder</li>
</ol>
<p>Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:</p>
<ol>
<li>
<p>Tell you he doesn&;t want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>Comply.
Or 3. Freak out because he's never seen a girl naked and say, "OMG WE CAN'T YOUR BOYFRIEND WOULD KILL ME OMG." XD
well guys also try to be your friend so they can bed you.
so obviously in that case they find you attractive. idk if it counts as friendship though as much as entrapment.
You&;re not a real man if you&;re afraid of the boyfriend.
the point, i think, is that could you be friends with a guy knowing he&;d have sex with you if he could.
I'm friends with a guy who would. actually i don't think he would have initiated the friendship had he not been interested. admittedly, it's not the closest friendship ever because it can be a little awkward.
<ol>
<li>The guy is gay</li>
<li>The guy does not find you attractive</li>
<li>The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder
I think there are more than just three.
- Guys who are older than you (not old enough to be your dad, but too old to date). Therefore you aren't attracted to them.
- You find guy unattractive, and he's dating your friend :)
[edit] And I think 2. is a biggy. If the guy doesn't find you attractive, you shouldn't even bother or waste your time
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Haha Stijn I love laddertheory. I remember finding that site ages ago. And yes, all of them that dont fit the first three would comply.But I <3 them anyways, my best friends are male.
by by
Friends but not best friends. I have a friend like that and I do find it a little uncomfortable sometimes. I don't believe that you can really be friends with a guy without them liking you or you liking them at some point in the friendship and it's usually not at the same time x)
Mine irl are all female now. I used to have a few male ones when I was in college but erm, that turned out pretty weird in the end =/
the point, i think, is that could you be friends with a guy knowing he&;d have sex with you if he could.
Not like best of friends for sure. They make lousy listeners when it comes to relationship issues if they have other motives :)
Eh. I think you can still be friends with a guy if he finds you sexually alluring.
the point, i think, is that could you be friends with a guy knowing he&;d have sex with you if he could.
Just... don't be a dumb cow and open the door of temptation. Duhz.
If there&;s never an actual opportunity for him to take up, I don&;t think it&;s an issue that has to have an impact on your friendship.</p>
<p>Just... don&;t be a dumb cow and open the door of temptation. Duhz.
Well said. I can think of five guys I know that would being that their sex drive is through the roof. Not going to walk out in the nude in front of them though. Ever.
[edit] I FREAKING HATE QUOTES. :[
Looks like someone needs to take a philosophy class. If you listen to Nietzsche for advice on relationships or woman, I'd like to smack you.
Yes, I think guys and girls can just be friends. Just because I talk to you, does not mean I am attracted to you.
I'm good friends with two guys who have made it explicit they wouldn't mind getting me in the sack.
With one of them, I didn't know him for very long and being asked 'So if you ever want sex, I'm free' made me lol and thus it kinda broke the ice. (I didn't take him up on that btw)
It's an uncomfortable thought, but I usually push that to the back of my mind when I'm hanging out with my guy friends, even if I know that one of them likes me/thinks I'm attractive/whatever you want to call it.
I can remember one time I went out to lunch with one of my girl friends, and about four of my guy friends. One of the guys who was there is my current closest friend (he has a girlfriend now, though) and he told me that every single guy at lunch sitting at that table really liked me and well... you can pretty much guess the rest of the things they were thinking.
I had a really fun time hanging out with all of them though, but if I'd been focusing on 'omg they like me ))):' the entire time, I would have had a really shitty, awkward time.
I guess you learn to ignore stuff like that after a while.
i think there is a difference between finding someone attractive, and being willing to bone them.
i have guy friends that i wouldnt touch (sexually) with a 10 foot pool but i still like them as friends :)
it's just like women to come in here and list 1000 more reasons. :P
