He's my ex, and my best friend. I talked to him all the time. ALL the time. He was almost my first everything. I think I'm still in love with him.

Now he has a girlfriend, who is...highly insecure about our friendship. She reads all our messages to each other, has taken him away once or twice during school, and gets upset when he mentions me or texts((anyone)) while she's around. I don't understand. I treat him just like my friends, he treats me just like a friend. Now she wants him to stop talking to me. And he's giving in.

My best friend is throwing me away so he can have a girlfriend watch over his shoulder for three months before he goes to college. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him about it. He won't listen, even if I get people agreeing with me. It makes me really mad.

Please help me? Should I just stop talking to him? Or is there something I can say?

From your statement, it sounds like his girlfriend has every right to be concerned about him being with you. I know I would be. You said yourself you think you're still in love with him. You also sound just a tad possessive and jealous (in a romantic way).

if he won't listen to what you have to say, then i don't see what else can be done

but you can always run over the girl with a car and say it was an accident ;)

Ultimately, though, its 100% HIS decision.

well... she has ever right to be protective and conserned. let the mood cool off a bit (hang out with other friends) and maybe, sometimes when shecomes around leave them to be alown(SOMETIME). still be his friend, talk to him like you would your other friends. and remember, you two are only (best)friends, nothing more and nothing less.

Frankly, I think his girlfriend sounds like a bit of a control freak; she really doesn't have any right to read his texts or dictate who he can or can't hang out with.

But, if your ex is willing to put up with that, it's his choice.

To be honest, she probably knows you still have feelings for him. Maybe? I mean, you're his ex and still hang around with him all the time. So if i were her i'd be concerned, but when she starts restricting what he can do she comes off as a control freak. She can't really win, so don't judge her actions too harshly. But anyway, you shouldn't feel guilty for hanging out with him.

Talk to him about it if you haven't already, and see if he wouldn't mind having a talk with his girlfriend about it. If he really values you as a friend, he won't let some silly girl who probably won't be with him forever get in the way of a friendship. If he won't do it... then he's not worth bothering with.

I'm in that same situation. I just stopped talking to him. If it's going to be like that, you don't wanna be kicked to the curb.

Given that you two have a history, he was (nearly) your first everything, and that you think you're still in love with him, it's understandable why she feels insecure about your friendship with him.

Still, if the friendship is important to you and HE won't listen...maybe try talking to HER. I wouldn't advise telling her that she's insecure or anything, that might not come off too well. Instead, just explain that the two of you are JUST friends, nothing more.

thing is... the more you push, the more you look pushy.

let him go. fighting with the situation is only going to make it worse for you. end it peacefully and respectfully and... when he finally gets tired of her suffocation, he will remember your friendship. but seriously, you should walk away. besides, if he doesn't care about what you think.... why keep him around????

Ha, this has crossed my mind. XD But I'm too nice. And it also might hurt me car...

Thanks for the advice everyone. c:

FYI, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I love him, nor that we were almost each others first everything. It's just the fact that I ((OMG??)) used to date 'her man'.

I'm still confused((hey, I always am)) but I think I'll try to talk to him again...

EDIT: Okay then nevermind... I'm done. :/ He can find a new 'only friend'. I'd rather leave by myself than have her push me out.

This has happened to me before -- just continue being his friend in anyway possible without selfishness or possessiveness. I know when my friend basically started ignoring me for his new GF, I helped him as much as I could and tried not to be ugly about things even though I knew she was bad for him. It's happened once before and the second time I refused to talk to him because I knew he was making a huge mistake and if not talking to me was fine by him, then it was fine by me. Four months later when they finally broke it off, he ran back to me and apologized for being such a shitty friend. :)

He doesn't think he's making a mistake with her, unfortunately. I don't think he'll come back. He spends all his time with her, and in three months he is going to college. So...time for a new best friend I guess. :p

i think you are right for trying to move on ... however i also agree that this girlfriend won't last and he will eventually see the friends he has lost over her. there is great potential that he will get back in touch with you. i'm not just trying to sound hopeful, i honestly feel that way.

a good thing you might want to do.... keep your distance but every so often, send a nice (short) email or ecard or something. perhaps after graduation or just before the start of college...just to keep you in his mind. just don't overdo it. ^_^

I've got to say- I have no problem with my husband hanging out with anyone except for ONE girl- who I know she's still quite into him, and he made a.. mistake with. A little bit ago.

Anyway. I had the same problem with my best friend. We'd hung out all through HS, from 7-12 grade, and then our first year of college (I'd dated my husband all through our senior year, and then that year of college, obviously :P). And we'd pretty much stopped hanging out that year, and NEVER hung out, and only talked every once in a while the next year. Found out about a year ago it's because his girlfriend didn't want us hanging out together, no matter that I was MARRIED with two kids, and we were both happy in our relationships :P Because we were too close apparently, and because we'd crushed on each other on and off at different times :P, over and over. And hadn't told each other about it until after they'd started dating.

Anyway, eventually he told her off, and we started hanging out again. But, I agree with everyone else- back off a bit, and let him learn his lesson. Even though it hurts :K

Wow, wall of rambly text... sorry about that everyone!

Your ex is doing what is right for him

If you guys are still really close, than he can probably feel how you are feeling to a degree, which means he does not want you interfering with a relationship he might think has some future.

Let him go, end of story.

See, I am a girl with almost all guy friends, so I can understand your position. I think most of the problem probably stems from the fact your his ex. That probably scares her a bit. It's understandable.
However: Anytime my guy friends start dating someone, I try to make friends with her too. A. so she knows she can trust me, and B. how else am I going to make good female friends xD I dont seek them out.
Also, if I a going to go hang out with my guy friends, I will let my boyfriend know who it is, since he knows all my friends. ITs an open policy, which can breed more trust.
Maybe if you can try to at least talk to the other girl, and try to make friends, that would be a good idea. Send her an email? (if you need help, id be glad to help you write it) if you cant get along with the girlfriend at least a little, then it may be time to find a new friend, especially if he really values her. Being negitive with, or about her will make him grow apart from you.

Worst comes to worse, you tried, and you start making new friends.

Also: One of my ex's and I lived very far apart (Which is why we broke up) and i wanted to stay in touch. He started dating another girl soon after we broke up (I ended it, but I WAs crushed.. even though i ended up(I had good reasons, but it was complicated as h***) Anyway, he didnt want to, because he has a hard time cutting feelings. Maybe some of it is your friend (who is also your ex) is afraid of old feelings interfering.

Anyway, good luck, and feel free so Smail me if you need to.

Thanks guys. c:

Shatzy, I hope you're right. :/