So graduation is just around the corner, and I decided to have about a dozen people over to stuff our faces, play games, watch movies, and generally hang out.

My best friend of 5 years is all excited and says of course she would come. Yesterday the story changes up a bit. She asked me if her boyfriend could go too. Despite the fact I think he is an utter douche bag, I told her I don't have a problem with him however, I want this to be for our class. He graduated 2 years ago.

Today I asked if she was still going (because I know her real well.. will explain later), she says I don't know maybe. And I said well what changed from you saying yes? She replied that every Saturday night is her and her boyfriend's movie night. Then she proceeds to tell me that my thing is just another Graduation Party, and not a big deal. I proceed to tell her that it is not a 'Graduation Party' it is a get together, I do not want people bringing me shit. And we let it go and I didn't talk to her the rest of the day. My thought process all day has been, Are You Fucking Kidding Me? She spends everyday with him, you cannot spend 8 hours with me and several other friends?

I expected her to flake out, but I guess I am really disappointed, and had a twinge of hope that maybe she would understand the importance of it, and that I understand that her and her douche of a boyfriend do stuff special together. Why can I not have the same? We have been friends for five years, I think we have hung out a total of 3 times out side the education system, 2 of those times were with her boyfriend. Every time I try to invite her to do something or over or anything she always asks to invite him. And I am like wtf, and I say no, because I want to hang out with just her. And that is when she bails on the plan.

She only wants to hang out with me when her and her boyfriend are fighting.

Is it reasonable to be upset? I think it is, but I feel I am irrational a lot of the time.

But I really don't understand why she wouldn't want to go. Just because her boyfriend cannot go seems awful petty and ignorant.

I think it's definitely reasonable to be upset... I would be too.

you can be upset, sure... but it isn't fair to hold her to your own standards.

She doesn't sound like a very good friend to me.

I wouldn't even bother with trying to be her friend if I was you.

I do not find it unreasonable to want to hang out with her, and being tired of being pushed aside.

Let go of her.

She's not worth it.

Don't judge a friendship on time.

Obviously too ignorant to take your friendship seriously.

Friends are forever, boys are whatever. It's not like she's going to freaking marry him, they'll break up, and she'll try to fix it all. But guess what? It'll just happen again.

She's being selfish and you're being terrible to yourself by staying friends with her.

Bummer. I remember being in high school and my friends would get so absorbed with their boyfriends. Okay, I did it too. Wish I could say it gets better, but my best friend of 10 years disappeared when she started dating my friend last year...

But I digress..

Sorry she is being selfish. Have a great time without her there, and congrats on graduation!

some people are like that? It's up to you if you want to keep her, I mean, you don't -have- to keep every friend super close.

I have loads of flakey friends and they can be great fun but I don't trust them one bit :P

Congratulations on graduating anyway :) hopefully one day your friend will see the true light (if bf is really a douche then probably not in too far a future :P) and understand that she's doing something stupid.

and when her and her little boyfriend break up, guess who's gonna come asking to hang out? ^_^

Of course you would/should be upset. She's your best friend and she ditched you for a movie night.

Although, people can change over 5 years, so even though you've known her so long, it doesn't nessacarily mean you should keep on being her friend.

Well for starters, I think you have failed her as a friend a bit. You tell us you think her boyfriend is a douchebag... but then you also tell us you told her you have no problem with him, you just don't want him there because of when he graduated.

That isn't what friends do. You really should be straight with her about things like that.

That said, I would understand if you made plans to do something with her, and only her, and she flaked. But this was a group thing... Why don't you contact her and try to plan something where just you and her do something on a day she isn't already planning on doing anything with her boyfriend? Go get your nails done or do somethign girly, so he can't tag along.

And enjoy your get together. You have other people coming, so focus on them and have a good time. :)

Yes you are right Jess, however when I did tell her I thought he was a douchebag and I didn't like him, she stopped talking to me completely.

That is a good idea, that would be amusing aswell.

=), I will, I guess its still disappointing, but her loss, and I don't know if I want to keep in contact much after this, she needs to prioritize herself a little I think.

If it makes you feel better, someone I was supposed to be best friends with couldn't even find five minutes to stop by and see me before I moved from TN to NJ...and that same "friend" couldn't find the time to hang out during the two weeks I was in town visiting.

Anyway, if I were in your situation, I wouldn't go out of my way to contact her or be friendly. Be civil if you see her or talk to her, maybe send the occasional text or e-mail to say hi, but don't go out of your way to hang out with her or anything.