okay..so i need some friend advice :P at the end of my sophomore year i met this freshman who was really dorky and wore clothes that looked like they were for a third grader. i didn't really think much of her until the end of my junior year when she started talking to me a lot after school. then during my senior year, she practically clung to me all year and apparently someone had given her a makeover. the thing is...we don't really have a lot in common and i don't see why she just strives to be my best friend. i mean she has a good group of friends and a boyfriend that she could hang out with but she just really wants to hang out with me for some reason. and to be honest..i really don't wanna hang out with her x: she just seems so insecure and unsure of herself. my friend and i call her the chamelon because wherever she goes, she blends right in which can be good but she blends in so much that you're not really sure who she is. it seems like she has no values, no opinions, and no personality at all. and i know it's because she doesn't want to be judged by others because she used to be get picked on a lot and i understand that because i got picked on a lot too but for some reason her not seeming to have a lot of personality really bugs me. it's also really hard to have a conversation with her. she calls, texts, and IMs me all the time wanting to hang out and then whenever i respond to her, she never has any particular place she wants to go. then when we i finally decide on a place to go, she has absolutely nothing to talk about. my mom suggested that maybe she looks up to me. i'm flattered if she does but honeslty i don't know why she would because i'm an average student while she's a straight A student and she's a lot wealthier and has gotten all these awards and honours and stuff. there's evidence though because i used to be an art major and i'm pretty sure she was too. then when i switched to psychology, she switched to psych too. so anyway...about a week ago both of us got out school for summer break and of course she started texting and emailing non-stop wanting to hang out. but again, i truthfully didn't want to hang out with her so, like usual, i just didn't respond. so then she calls my best friend and she's all upset and wondering why i don't wanna hang out with her and my bestie said she just seemed really distraught and hurt. so i emailed her and told her i'd meet up with her tomorrow. the thing is...i'd really like to talk to her about this but i don't know exactly what i wanna say. i feel bad that i mad her so upset and i didn't mean to hurt her. but to be honest i just...don't think we're compatible as friends and i don't know how to tell her that x: so yeah..sorry that was kinda long and confusing. if you have any questions, feel free to ask~

Well. I've kinda been there. On her side of it. Not...that extreme (like her crying because you didn't answer her...that's odd).

You just gotta tell her the best way you know how. God knows if nobody had ever told me how it was...I'd still be like that. I am to a certain degree. I still don't care where I go as long as the company's good. Anyway. Just be honest. If she freaks out on you because of it don't worry about it. If you and your friend have both noticed it, you're probably not the only ones either. It's gonna sting her a little bit, but it's the truth. She'll hear it eventually and it's better to hear something like that from someone who really doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Ouch. I think the best thing to do is to tell her straight-up what's bothering you and why. Just spell it out for her VERY clearly so there's no room for miscommunication. Honesty is key. It'll probably hurt her at first, and she'll probably react badly, but as selfish as it sounds; you really have to just look after yourself :/ you can't be expected to take care of her and hold her hand and walk her through life.

Not only would her not shadowing you all of the time be good for you, but in the end, like Sugah said, it'll be better for her as well.

She's obviously unhappy and insecure with herself if she feels the need to do whatever you do and change herself just to fit in. Nobody should have to live that way, and you shouldn't have to worry about dealing with her. If she constantly asks to hang out yet has nothing to say, tell her that. It takes two to make a friendship, and it sounds like she isn't holding up her end of the deal. A respectful friend knows when to give their friend space.

It sounds like she wants to hang out with you just because it's probable that she doesn't have anyone else to hang out with, or is uncomfortable hanging with other people without you around.

Tell her that she has to start branching out and meeting new people. Life is all about getting to know new people and experiencing different things; she seems too scared to do either of those things.

Be honest with her... but, if I were you, I'd be as nice as possible. She seems easily hurt by things, and it doesn't seem like she's doing anything on purpose to irritate you. She probably is unsure of herself, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a friend. Maybe if you could talk to her about it casually, she'll open up to you and you could help her out somehow... I don't know exactly how to tell you to talk to her, but maybe it'll come easily for you. Just go for a walk and tell her what's on your mind in the nicest way possible. She seems like she needs someone in her life to help her out... and she wants that person to be you. I'm not saying to dedicate your entire life to her... just give her some confidence and support, and maybe she'll then be able to do some soul-seeking and she'll find out who she is and take things into her own hands. If you reject her, she'll be even more insecure. Just because the problems aren't yours to worry about doesn't mean you can't help her.