Feeling Suffocated...?
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Am I right or wrong here...
So this is what happened. Earlier this week, one of my very good friends told me that she really liked me as more than a friend. I found out she's had these feelings for over a month now. I told her I'd think and I really had to debate how I felt about her.
The next day I told her I really liked her back too. Well, nothing more happened that day except for the end of the day she gave me a note to read on the bus and she asked me out.
The day following (Thursday) was her birthday, and I said 'yes'.
Now Friday I feel extremely suffocated right now. I know she really loves me, but I've gotten four love notes from her, each a page long, at random intervals of the day. She shows up at five out of my six classes to say 'hi' and I ended up with her waiting outside for me first thing in the morning.
I know we're just starting this relationship, but already I feel claustrophobic...
She told me to call her tonight, but I'm not going to since I need space. And I turned off my phone.
I'm going to talk to her tomorrow about this since there's a party we're both going to be at, but for now I just don't... I just need to be on my own for the rest of today.
End long story.
So, what am I? Right or wrong? =/
She's sounds obsessed. There's nothing to be wrong or right about.. You'll only be wrong if you don't tell her how you feel.
the whole point of dating is to get to know the other person and determine whether or not you both can make a relationship work. doesn't matter if it is two days or two years....
definitely speak with her about your concerns but certainly recognize that it is more your problem and less her problem. if you are willing to try and make it work, the effort to change should be on both sides -- not just one.
Thank you for all the advice.
The thing is, the amount of attention she's giving me is starting to get a little overwhelming. It's like... I know she loves me and I do really care for her. I just don't use the 'l' word a lot and I want it to be special, not every day about four times being reminded of why she loves me so much.
x___X I'll definitely have to talk to her.
I am willing to try to make this work, which is why I will talk to her and I will think about what's going on in my head.
I feel bad for turning my phone off because she did call and leave a message, but I didn't listen to it, I just turned my phone off again. =x
i do get the impression that even if you are clear to her about your concerns, she would undoubtedly still feel some sort of inner rejection should you not be able to return the same behaviors she is giving to you. i mean let's face it, a person usually gives of themselves what they expect in return. that could be a major problem.
of course all of the newlywed antics eventually subside with time... but i would suspect that the relationship wouldn't make it that far. i definitely wish you the best when you talk to her. i just guess she is excited about the potential and hope that her excitement can be curbed to something more (or less) substantial for you (hehe). ^_^
How you handled it initially was probably wrong. You should have been upfront about your feelings (i.e feeling suffocated, also sorry if you said that to her, I did not see anything like that in your post).
However, having those feelings is not wrong. If she is doing all those things in the very first stages of the relationship chances are you should end up having some type of suffocating feeling (which you do).
Since you plan on talking to her just make her realize sometimes you need a bit of space. Hopefully things will work out :D
I didn't tell her because I just realized how suffocating she was today... x___x
I will apologize for having to say it tomorrow, though, most likely.
I do want things to work out, though right now I'm just sort of holding onto reality as much as I can.
Than perhaps you should tell her that you are happy that you guys are beginning a relationship but you need space sometimes to ground yourself.
Everyone needs something that grounds them reality, their center if you will. Some people might not realize it but everyone has one :D
Thank you for the advice, guysinger. x___x It really does help.
She called my phone just ten minutes ago and I'd just turned it on to text a friend. I'd just opened my phone to start the text when she called, so I accidentally answered the call.
O.o I just told her I was too worn out to talk and I would see her tomorrow. Then I hung up after she said 'ok'.