I've been friends with this girl, let's call her M, since grade school. I'm 18 now. We've been really close and have had our ups and downs. The first time she actually met me she picked on me and called me crazy. I'd cry everyday at recess because no one would play with me. Then after half the school year was over we suddenly became friends (I have no clue why and can't remember how.)

She became my best friend a couple of years after being friends. M has treated me bad before. She tried to break up our friendship on my 16th birthday over something I couldn't control. I begged and pleaded and cried and we stayed friends. She got better after that. Me and her both went on mood medicine and our friendship went back to normal. Now's she's gone off hers and is starting to pick on me. She snaps at me and tells me to go home when I do the things I've always done.

She's slowly replacing me with another girl who's really cool too. At least I thought she was. When I called M today both her and the girl put me on speaker and ignored me. They laughed in the background as I kept trying to get at least one of them to talk to me. I finally hung up when they kept ignoring me. No one even told me bye.

It really hurts me. I feel like my heart is being squeezed and ripped apart. I know I'm not the greatest friend. I should call more and offer to do stuff more often. But what they did today really hurt. I don't know what to do. M can be really sweet, caring, and protective at times. Or she can be mean, manipulative, and bossy. I have to bend over backwards to please her and feel like I'm stepping on egg shells to not make her mad.

I still want to be friends with her though. I'm confused and don't know what to do. I don't really expect anyone to read this or respond. I just needed to get my feelings out.

The samething happened to me. I was best friends with this girl all the way through high school. I loved her like a sister. Once we graduated, I got a job and I knew her and her sister needed a job too and I knew that they would be great for it, so I recommended them. They got it and we were together again. But this other girl started working and soon, my best friend started talking to me less and less and more with this other girl. This other girl was really cool and wasn't trying to break up our friendship, but thats what she did. Finally, she stopped talking to me all together. I moved on and got a new best friend. We didn't talk for almost a year and the other girl got married and moved away, so my former best friend was once again lonely. She wanted to be best friends with me again, but it was too late. I became friends with her again, but we're not as close as we were.

Anyway, I would say look into your heart and try to decide what you want. If you feel better thinking about not being her friend anymore, perhaps you should move on. If you think you can save your friendship, try talking to her and telling her how you feel. And if there is no coming back, try doing what I did. Give some space and maybe she'll come back you. I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you. I needed it.

You're welcome hugs

I'll just tell you the truth, I won't sugar-coat it either. There are no real best friends.

thats it. C:

My best friend of twelve years left me when I was in the hospital, having a surgery and just really a low point in my life. Went to a hockey game instead of seeing her sick ass best friend.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I understand how much it hurts. The best thing for me was I looked deep inside and realized that no matter what she did to try to make it up to me...I'd never be able to really forgive her. I'd always feel some resentment towards her. I think you just need to look inside and see if you feel as though the friendship is even worth saving. If yes, then try to talk to her...sometimes a good heart-to-heart can save a lot of pain (even if it hurts at the time). If not, then I'd suggest you go and find someone else. There are always others out there.

Best friend? What? NO. That's no kind of a friend at all. Ignore them, move on and DON'T be their 'friend' again. They don't want to do anything but pick on you, and they will continue to treat you like crap until you stand up and walk away. And when you do:

DO NOT GO BACK.

If that's what she's doing then she's not worth your time. There is no reason why someone can treat someone else who is her peer like dirt.

with all due respect.... i can't help but read your post in a biased manner... especially in a negative light towards M (but thats what you want to paint, isn't it?)

why can't it be that M has tried to deal with your 'uncontrollable' issues and quite frankly, wants to cut ties and move on? whats wrong with that?

it reeeeeallly bothers me that you are quick to point out all of the negativity about your friend but are rather tight-lipped on whatever issues you have (that she has complained about). i dunno.....

i'm not going to feel sorry for you -- only because it just doesn't feel right. if you want to be her friend, i suppose begging and crying is the way to go, it's worked before in the past. but otherwise, why not just move on and let her move on too?

Friendships would be nice if they were forever.

Sometimes however they are not.

Your case sounds like the latter. Especially with the portrait you painted.

She's tried to cut ties with me before but comes back whenever things in her life get rough. I'm kind of like a fall-back friend. The problems she has with me (that she's told me) is that I don't call enough, I don't stand up for her (it was her or my mom), I don't put enough effort into the relationship, and she doesn't like that I don't remember things. I appreciate your opinion shatzy. I've seen your around the forums and from what I can tell your pretty level-headed. I do know my negative aspects. I think about them everyday. If she wanted to ditch me. I'd accept it if it made her happy. What I don't approve of is stringing me along emotionally for whether she decides if she still wants to continue the friendship.

I've decided to just not invest emotionally as much in the relationship like I used too. Since then, I've also started working on strengthening other friendships. Thanks for everyone's opinions. I considered them all.

KASk~ Just, thank you~

I feel the same way, I feel replaced, I was at a sleep over with some friends months back, it was for Halloween, and we had gone in sperate rooms, all call the girl A, so I was talking to K and T, and they asked me why I hang out with A, I told them that is was because I was best friends with her, K then said something like, 'But she told us she was best friends with L' I pretty much broke apart, then a week or two latter A even said, 'M is my first best friend, then L and probably Becca' Becca being me, I felt broken once again. A was my best friend, or so I thought, I mean I always saw her as that, ever since 5th grade, now we just finished 9th. Ever since middle school I've felt like I've been losing her, I mean we have always been opposites, we are opisities friends. It was the thing I felt kept us tight, we always felt the need to watch over the other, to protect one or another, to come to the otehr, we listen to each others words, we have almost a matster slave relationship with out knowing who is who, I am her cat, she my dog. Yet I fell I've lost her, like one of died yet we are still living. To make things worse the girl who I feel replaced me, I know can't stop thinking of, it's just such a troublesome thing. I view people as rivals naturally, though no one would ever see me like that. Just, thank you for letting me write. Any way.

Just listen to your heart, some times you just need to close up some emotions and rethink it. <3

Uhh why are you wasting your time?

It seems like it's time for your roads to take different paths, so stop crying yourself back onto her road.

Let her go and start working on loving yourself - you seem like a pretty depressed, sad person and no "best friend" can really be your friend until after you are able to stand with youself, noone else holding you up.