Hahaha, she's almost completely different from your original! xD

SUGGESTIONS: Lifestyle: *I read "unemployed but in school" as "full-time student." d:

Change the title of "How I Found Out What My Animal Form Is" so it's in third person, like the rest of the profile.

In the above story: *She has no friends, but she also has a best friend who helped carry her mattress. CONFUSION. *You are oddly specific about the amount of time she spends in the woods. *Switch out of italics when you end the dream. *This story doesn't actually tell us what her animal form is. ): Was this intentional? *There are a few (tiny) grammatical mistakes in here, but my own grammatical skillz are so terrible I'd probably end up making them worse if I tried to fix them.

Personality and Background: *The header here is missing Appearance. (; *If her biological parents were abusive, they could have been deemed unfit to raise her rather than "not wanting her." This would make the "Her abusive childhood has caused her..." line to be less of a, "Buhwhat? Where did that come from?" moment in Personality. *While we're on that subject, the nature of this abuse is completely not brought up, so it remains a, "Buhwhat?" dealio. If you don't want her super sad I'd go for neglect. You probably already know what kind of abuse it was, though, hah. *Instead of "passing on" the magick she could have "inherited" it. Passing on seems voluntary to me. I dunno... *Also, is her magick limited to shape shifting? *You might change Appearance to Wardrobe, since that's what it seems to be, haha.

In my inexpert opinion, her lack of five hundred totally leet skillz, and crippling shyness make her absolutely not a Mary Sue. All that really matters is how you RP her, though. (;

(Lolol, redheaded stepchild.)

You're very welcome! I love reading about other people's characters. THERE IS ALWAYS MORE TO BE WRITTEN! I have so many pages of crap about my own characters that will never see the light of the interweb ('cause I'm too embarrassed to share, lolol.) So instead I look at what other people write up. Like a creeper. I'm glad you liked some of my suggestions! xD

This really stood out to me as being awkwardly worded: "Her biological parents were both descendants of a long line of magick, in which Ashley inherited it." Maybe: "Ashley inherited her magickal ability from her biological parents, who were both descended from an ancient magick line." "Her biological parents were both descended from a long line of magick, from which Ashley inherited her own ability/(ies.) Or something. I don't even know.