EDIT:: Here is my intro with some changes. If anyone wants to critique this one, that would be great.

“Get away!” The 18-year-old cried over her shoulder franticly. She ran though the forest, her hair blowing out far behind her. Her bandana rustled violently with the constant wind. She frowned furiously. They had already made her into this hideous thing, what more could they do with her? She swallowed hard, her mind racing to try and find a way to get out of this mess. Did she have powers? Her tail twitched. She stopped in her tracks, and started to concentrate on using teleport. The red jewel on her forehead glowed through her navy blue bandana. A few moments later, she was on the ground, staring up at four men in all black except the red R on their sweaters. She had a violent pain in her head as she realized that the move had failed. “Who are you guys?” She shouted, scowling. “And what do you want with me? You’ve already made me into this terrible Espeon pokemon-human thing! What more do you want?” The men looked at each other, smiling. She started to scoot back slowly. “You,” One said, as they all lundged onto her. She jumped out of the way, but one caught her foot and pulled her back. Talien Marwil woke up with a start. Her breathing was heavy; every inch of her body was covered with a fine layer of sweat. Her hypnotic purple eyes relaxed, as she saw no one around her. She let out a shaky breath. She sat up, her black jacket that she was using as a makeshift blanket falling to her waist. Her dark jeans and shirt were covered in dirt, giving them a brown tint. Her ears twitched, exposed to the outside. She stood up, slowly. Her straight brown hair blew slightly in the wind. She looked at the sky though the dense vegetation and decided that she might as well go. The more time she spent milling around, the more time they had to find her. She packed up her items, tied her bandana around her head, and pulled on her fingerless gloves. She picked up her backpack which contained potions, antidotes, escape ropes, and the like, and all her pokemon except for one: her prized Umbreon, which hung on a long chain from around her neck. Talien cast a parting glance at her temporary campsite, and walked off, her hope for survival was low, as was her hopes of finding anyone in this desolate forest.

Pokemorph! Ahaha, it's been ages since I've seen one of these! Clutches own pkmorph character

SUGGESTIONS: *Change "an" to "the" in the first sentence when referring to your character, otherwise it seems like there's another random girl behind her yelling. *You could probably drop the "girl" part from that sentence, as well. *Maybe exchange "behind" for "over her shoulder" or drop it completely. *I don't know about the typical bandanna's mode of expression, but rustle seems like it isn't violent enough for such furious running. *It isn't clear if she falls down or transforms. *If she falls down, why was she glowing earlier? *Why do they want her soul? Unless R stands for something that isn't Team Rocket wouldn't what they're after be more concrete? *Distressed damsel vibes: she doesn't continue to try to escape, she's being menaced by people who smile creepily and bags-over-the-head usually require some kind of restraining of the bagee to happen with success. *Why does she look at her shoes? *'...as were her hopes of/for finding anyone...'

Ahh, okay. I will try to fix those things. Thank you!

The only thing that struck me was the first setence;

'An 18-year-old girl cried behind her.'

I dunno, it's fine, you don't have to change it if you don't want to. I just feel that starting off with '18-year-old girl' is kind of abrupt and sudden. I heard a phrase once of 'I'd rather be confused for 15 minutes than bored for 15 seconds' - that basically means, they'd rather have less explained to build suspense and tension, creating mystery, rather than have everything labelled and explained right away, it doesn't engage your audience so much.

By describing her emotions and her panic first, the reader will get drawn in, start to ask questions and wonder what's going on. The explainations about who she is and why she's upset should come a little later, in my opinion. Again, don't have to change it if you don't want to, just a handy little hint about structuring introductions. :] Good luck with your writing, it's brilliant.

Oh, thank you so much! Ahaha, I'll tweek that to make it seem...more put together, I suppose.