is having a friend break up with someone for you a shallow move?

i mean, i feel pretty bad about it, i think its really shallow, but he (my ex) said it wasn't, and i know he still cares about me, so i think he's just saying that..

A little. I guess it depends on how old you are, no offense. I did that too awhile ago, I think everyone does. It would have been better even over the phone I think.

I've had someone do that for me.

I know I'd be angry if someone did that to me, but I can see why they would because I've pulled the same move.

But ! I say yeah, kinda. /;

i thought so. and the worst part is, he was so happy to be with me, and the person that did it for me is someone that hates him..

I wouldn't call it shallow, I would call it cowardly. That's only my opinion though :) Think about it if he had broken up with you through a friend, how would you react? Wouldn't you be hurt and think he was a coward?

I would never have dumped someone that way, not even over email or phone. Not unless the relationship was really crappy, and the guy a douche. Then he would have deserved it :p But it's about maturity and age I think.

I think of it more as cowardly, personally. I know someone who did it through email though, and that is worse.

That.

I think it would be both, shallow and cowardly. If I were to break up with someone/be broken up with, I'd want it to be face to face, no middle man.

It is cowardly, but if you're young and the relationship is just a cute little crush kinda thing... it doesn't make it right but it's more understandable. In a longer, more meaningful relationship it'd be really low to break up with someone via a friend.

To me it sounds silly like you would do in grade school or some thing. No offince intended.

It isn't the smartest thing to do, but if we're talking about teenage/highschool relationships... it happens all the time.

I've broken up with someone for someone else, and I've had someone break up with someone else to be with me. I've never been on the bad end of it. It is kind of a shallow thing to do, especially if the person doing the breaking-up doesn't think it through, but ultimately you should do whatever makes you feel the happiest/most comfortable.

Why stay with someone you don't even want to be with?

Yes.

It's a terrible Idea. Trust me, I was broken up with over the internet. It showed me how he couldn't face up to the truth or talk to my face. It made me mad that he would hide behind a little computer screen rather than face the music. Son of batch of cookies.

Nontheless. Don't do that. Show them that you can work it out.

Shallow isn't the right word. Cowardly, selfish, irresponsible...those all fit. You let someone that already hates him tell him it was over. You can bet they weren't exactly gentle with him. And it was YOUR relationship. You should've taken responsibility and handled it yourself, but you took the easy route.

Good job.

totally nailed it for me. i can only assume that you allowed this to happen because you know deep inside that you were wrong for X (=whatever reason you broke up).

it would be totally upstanding to come forward and apologize.

mm, the reason of it was that we were in separate states at the time, and the times i called, no one answered

but i see everyones point, and in most cases, i agree.