We're not even really kissing, he gave me a peck on the lips. Tame as hell compared to what I'm used to.

But I agree, I'm not going to continue like this for long. Anyone ever been in a relationship like this?

So I met this guy in my CNA class about 10 weeks ago. He sat next to me on the first day, and we hit it off really well. He's really easy to talk to, runs the homeless shelter in our town and is a volunteer fire man. So basically, he's awesome, but we were just friends because we were both in relationships.

I recently just got back into the dating scene, and when I saw him yesterday for our State test, he asked for my number, which was cool, and we went and hung out. We flirted all night long, and eventually it led to him telling me that he thinks I'm really cute, and he loves hanging out with me and stuff. You don't want the adorable cheesy details.

The problem is; He's been living with his girlfriend for almost a year, and they've been together for almost 4. So, when I want to hang out with him, we have to sneak around when she's out of the house. Supposedly they aren't doing too great, and they never really see each other, and he doesn't WANT to see her. They haven't had sex for 2 months! I don't really call that a relationship anymore, but I think I'm the other woman. lol. We aren't fooling around, we're just kissing, and I don't plan on going any further with him having a gf.

So, Subeta, what the heck do I do? How do I go about this? Any advice from personal experience? I'm kind of at a loss.

:/ Your kissing this guy and he still has a gf?

You need to ask him what he is going to do .Tell him you don't want this relationship to continue if he is going to sneak around behind his gf's back. Its not fair to her.

If his gf found out you were making out with him, shes not going to thank you for kissing him but not fucking him. Shes going to be pissed either way.

He knows its wrong and that's why he is sneaking around in the first place.

Tell him to break up with her or you guys cant be together.

Also, the fact that he is in fact cheating on his gf does not look good for your relationship. If things get rocky or he meets someone else. He'll do the same thing again. You will be the gf he wants nothing to do with but he wont tell you and that other person will become what you are now. The Other Women.

Yep ^this.

Meee. I am/was the other girl. We did more than you have, though.

Tell him if he wants more he needs to break up with her. If you go farther it'll end up hurting everyone more than it would if he broke up with her now.

To me this would be cheating. If you hve to sneek to do stuff, thats cheating. Again thats just me. But I would tell him if he wants you then he needs only you. And if he doesnt like that. Time for the BOOT!

You wouldn't like it if you were the other girl and there was some hussy doing stuff with your boyfriend behind your back.

Sneaking should show you that you're doing something wrong. Excusing yourself through your inappropriate actions by saying that their relationship is over so you can do stuff with him is wrong. You know it, he knows it, we all know it.

Being the other woman is not cute. It's not comical. It's not a good thing.

My suggestion to you is to leave that relationship alone until he has left her.

My personal experience- I've been cheated on. You have no idea how devastating it is to find out that there is another person in the picture when it's someone you love and care about. Just because he says it is over, she may not even be aware. The guys always say the same thing- "We haven't had sex in such in such time", "Things are not working out", "She's in a vulnerable place right now and I don't want to leave her because she might ________ herself". They will make any excuse to have their cake and eat it too. Seeing as you two have to sneak would suggest the other girl is obviously not aware it is over. Otherwise, he could be upfront about the situation with her. Seriously, talk to her and see if she's aware it's over. I guarantee their two stories will be COMPLETELY different.

A decent man will exit out of a relationship completely before entering a new one. This guy is not decent and if you have any self-respect, you will leave and come back when their relationship is completely over and evident for the both of them.

I also recommend reading this site: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/challenging-your-role-of-being-the-other-woman/

Also googling "being the other woman" will give you insight into what is really going on and substantial advice on the situation.

BluestarSugar hit it on the head. He doesn't sound like such a nice guy. He's in, what any sane person would call, a long-term relationship and he meets you. He "thinks you're cute" enough to see on the side and loves spending time with you, but not enough to break up with his old girl.

If he was serious about you, you wouldn't have to ask him to break up with her. It doesn't sound like he loves either of you. (And honey. Him doing a lot of volunteer work doesn't make him a nice person.)

I know exacctttttlllyyy how you feel. [SOB] EXACTLY.

You should probably talk it out with him, because you ARE the other woman now that he's kissed you. You can't let it go any further although I know how hard that is, but try not to let yourself get into that situation again.

He needs to break up with his chick because you can't let him take advantage of you, even if he likes you and cares about you, he might get ahead of himself, that's how we are (guys).

If he doesn't do a clean break with her, you have to remember that he IS NOT WORTH THE PAIN. Really. But if he does, go for it, you know?

I don't know why it's so necessary for him to OMGCOMMIT to me now. We've hung out like 5 times. I don't want anyone to leave a relationship because of me, and I'm definitely not asking him to do it. I told him I wouldn't be used, I wasn't interested in just being with a guy to fool around.

And, I HAVE been cheated on before, I know how it feels. It's not like I was intentionally falling for a guy with a girlfriend. I fell for an awesome guy that just happened to have a girlfriend. I'm not a hussy for that, I don't think. You can't really help who you fall for. Plus, I never did say it wasn't wrong, and that I wouldn't be pissed in a similar situation.

Anyway, apparently she found a text message he sent to me and flipped out, and tried kicking him out of the apartment all pissed, hoping he'd beg her to let him stay, and he just left. They too a walk to talk about it, and she just wants him to stay. But he left, and he's not going back.