Gah, I feel like I'm mentally falling to pieces, in this post I'll place my problems into a simple list, I'll elaborate more if asked. I am a seventeen- year-old girl, if that helps. At time of posting, it's about 1:30 a.m. I can't sleep.

• I'm genenerally unmotivated lately.

• I'm pretty sure my long-distance boyfriend is cheating on me.

• My parents fight a lot, my dad's never home so I only get my mother's side of the phone conversations.

• As of recent I have four emotions: Depressed, Extremely Happy, Generally Upset, and Blank (the worst of the four) Depressed and Blank are the most common.

• My mother constantly dumps all of her problems on me. In turn, I dump my problems on a dear friend, who shall remain unnamed.

• I've been having hand problems for a while now, when I bend my fingers quickly, they make a terrible cracking sound, this has been happening for a few years, and more recently (last couple months) I have quite a bit of trouble positioning my fingers on my guitar both comfortably and correctly, so now either my fingers hurt, or the notes buzz terribly. This may be nothing, but both my mother and I are concerned.

I might just be ranting, I don't know... I'm particularly concerned about that last one, guitar is one my only releases.

Maybe you should see a doctor about your hand?

And I think you should talk to your mum about her dumping problems on you. It obviously doesn't help on your mood.

And how are you sure your boyfriend is cheating? And why are you still with him if you are completely sure?

I'm seeing the doctor in a week or two.

I'm not 100% sure my boyfriends cheating, but in the past he was, and he said he broke it off with the other girl, I'd believe him, since he admited this without me asking the first time, but I'm sort've used to men lying. I haven't broken up with him yet because a) as stated above, I'm not completely sure, and b) he's really quite sweet.

I suppose not having seen him since April hasn't made me less suspicious.