I'm just looking for opinions on his story. I tried to make it fit with subeta's history. Also if anyone sees any misspellings, messed up punctuation (I never know what to do with commas), or anything you feel sounds weird please let me know, Thanks^^

http://www.subeta.net/pets/hachico

[edit] or I'm sorry I should have put this in the writing discussion forum, could one of you maybe move it for me? Thanks and sory again^^;