I think you're off to a really good start! Nothing really seems odd to me? I mean it reads perfectly well and it's not like something really random happens for no reason or anything haha. Is it complete, though? I like that it reads like a drabble but maybe a bit of background would work too haha.

Yay that's awesome, I'm glad you'll be adding more to it. Haha yes I did check out Strayfer's profile and I think it's really cute how it links to Aequella's and is from his point of view!