Forum Shop: Best Friends

September 13, 2015, 9:40 pm by

Ace characters/npcs on a website I visit !? Oh heck yes!!!

September 11, 2015, 9:26 pm by

Those ace plushies are so cute <3

September 11, 2015, 7:55 pm by

So many praises to Subeta for every character design and backstory and and and u I am a happy ace rn

September 10, 2015, 8:16 am by

@ Everyone who says that "their asexuality should have been implied!!" No. No it shouldn't have. I have spent enough time guessing and side-eyeing and hoping to see characters like me in media. I WANT to see it explicitly stated. I WANT to see it normalized. I don't want to spend my time saying "these characters must be ace!" because I need representation and getting shot down by everyone who claims that since there's nothing explicit, or no word of god, and clearly these characters can't be some made-up-special-snowflake-sexuality-why-is-all-the-focus-on-sexuality-now-anyways. So yes, the items are cute, and (as always) the art is great and it's wonderful to learn more about the NPCs on this site. But also, YES, the most important thing here to me is that my sexuality, which is INCREDIBLY looked down on, ignored, and erased, is being represented in a positive and accepting fashion. Let me reiterate that: The most important thing to me is that my sexuality is being represented. I cannot think of more than one other example of ace characters in popular media. If you're not comfortable with me saying "I'm ace," then you're not comfortable with my existence. Being asexual--being OPENLY asexual--is a huge part of who I am. So I'm not gonna shut up about it just because some people find it weird that I am announcing my sexual orientation (ie, none.)

September 9, 2015, 11:38 pm by

Best Friend and Couple plushies are my absolute favorite thing, hngh. So cute that I can just ignore the drama in the comments~

September 9, 2015, 5:38 pm by

I re-read what I said and I can see how someone might have thought I was implying that asexuality is tumblr-based, or something like that. Let me clarify: I absolutely know it's not! I just understand that for some people who may not be very familiar with asexuality, they can look at the comments here and see these other terms that are very popular on tumblr, and assume that it's related in some way. And for some, that's a frightening thought, because they may have had experiences with people on tumblr who they didn't agree with but were respectful to, but still were insulted or made to feel like a horrible person for not agreeing with that specific idea. Shoving something in someone's face aggressively, instead of calmly explaining your point of view, will never garner any kind of positive response.

Some people even within the LGBT community may disagree with how a certain sexuality is presented, or there may be a term or an idea that they disagree with altogether. And that's fine, people are absolutely allowed to voice their opinions in a polite manner. I don't think anyone here is against minority group representation, whether they're very heavy on tumblr or not (and asexuality tends to be very under-represented). Because, let's face it, they don't have to affect them! I think it's when these kinds of things become hostile, when there's an "us vs. them" attitude or an overall feeling of "if you don't accept this, you're trash". Nobody likes to feel forced into anything, and I'll admit there are certain things others believe that I personally feel are a little silly or unnecessary, but I'm not going to be a jerk to them. And if you don't like me because I think something is unnecessary, but still show that person basic respect, then that's okay. There are things I like or believe that other people probably look at and say, "wow she's so weird."

Basically, you don't have to agree with an idea, but respect that that person does. It doesn't have to be for you, that's okay! But it's important to someone else. You can disagree with an idea while still recognizing that it matters to someone, and that it's a part of them. Live and let live. And if you're really going to debate someone, remember that there's a reason for the way they feel. This applies to both sides.

There's so much I could get into, but this is not the place and I'm super tired. I just didn't want anyone to think I'm running around here saying that oh no tumblr is invading or anything like that. And I'm sorry to the asexual community if anything I said came across like I was saying you guys were just a tumblr trend or special snowflakes or anything. That was not what I was intending at all.

Okay I'm gonna shut up for real now. ;o; I'm sorry Nico babe.

September 9, 2015, 4:43 pm by

Always nice to see NPCs getting more 'flesh and blood'. Hooray for backstories! :)

September 9, 2015, 3:41 pm by

I think it's awesome that Nico lives with Manwar now. Nico may be ace, but you guys will always be my platonic OTP. I don't know Liz well enough to make a call on that. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to stick someone with that sticker.

September 9, 2015, 2:07 pm by

MANWAR IS VEGAN?? SOOO COOL IF THATS WHAT YOU ARE GETTING AT!!! :D also ace vegan here 2 omgggg

September 9, 2015, 11:34 am by

I hope no one thinks I'm trying to say anything hateful. ;; I know it's not a tumblr trend and you guys are absolutely not broken or special snowflakes. I'm just trying to look at this from every angle to see why people might feel the way they do.

I love you all and I hope everyone has a great day!

September 9, 2015, 11:07 am by

Cool new sticker

September 9, 2015, 9:12 am by

Ace/Aro people are not broken. They are not a damn Tumblr trend either.

Go me for being a special snowflake. lmao.

September 9, 2015, 2:23 am by

September 8, 2015, 10:22 pm by

Yay Aces! There's a group you don't really see represented often. I mean sure, most of what I know comes from reading Shades of A and doing research to supplement knowledge, but nice to see some crazy diversity on this site. And Liz and Nico are so adorable together I can feel myself getting Diabeetus just reading those descriptions <3

September 8, 2015, 10:16 pm by

Oh my gosh, thank you for the representation! I had just enough for the plushie :)

September 8, 2015, 9:34 pm by

I hope you don't find anything I've said acephobic... I think people feel that way because tumblr seems to focus more on the lesser known sexualities, whereas homosexuality has been a known thing (to the general public) for a very long time. People can be very quick to attack other people, instead of trying to understand what they're saying. This happens on ALL sides.

I think these items are wonderful, and I hope that nothing I said came across as me trying to be like "lol tumblr". It's been a place of comfort for many, but also a place of isolation and misunderstanding, even within groups. I'm sorry, I'm not very good at explaining.

September 8, 2015, 9:13 pm by

Coming in to read the comments like...

September 8, 2015, 8:31 pm by

DUDE. ACE CHARACTERS AND WITH A LOVE FOR VEGAN STUFF? :'D I'm in heaven

But besides that, I just love how as soon as characters get confirmed as ace all the people be like OHHH NOOOO TUMBLRRRRR whereas this never happens with the gay NPCs LMAAAOOOO I SEE ALL YOU ACEPHOBES AND I'M SIDE-EYING ALL OF YA

Just a note to all of ya'll - I've been ace since bloody puberty set in and that was fricking 10 years ago. It's got nothing to do with ~~tumblr~~ considering that tumblr is full of acephobes last I checked lmfao

Plus I'm literally mr "I do not give a stuff about sexuality" and even I'M over the moon with this. But, you know, it's nice to know that my sexuality is regarded as a "tumblr special snowflake" thing. Real nice. Makes me feel really welcome here. c: Thanks guys.

September 8, 2015, 8:22 pm by

I hope I'm making sense? It's just that you don't want to alienate half of the asexual community by saying "this is what asexuality is", when they may adhere to something different. That's my example, I guess. So that's why I think some people can be uncomfortable if it gets very specific. It's like my OCD... Not everyone has my combination of symptoms. So you have to be careful with things like this, sensitive topics. Not everyone has to agree with a specific representation or how it's presented, because maybe they feel differently about it.

Sorry, I'll shut up! This is beautiful again thank you staff. I'm so sorry this turned into a jumble. :(

September 8, 2015, 8:17 pm by

But again, this was done very tastefully and in a way that can appeal to many people with different definitions of what asexuality means to them, and that makes me very happy! Representation is amazing, I would probably start crying if there was a character with OCD who wasn't just obsessed with cleaning, but had intrusive and obsessive thoughts and compulsions too. I've never ever had that in my entire life, short of creating my own OC to represent it respectfully. So I totally understand where people are coming from, and I think this is nothing short of lovely! I just can also understand why some people might be wondering if this is going to turn into a toxic site like tumblr can be (it used to be pretty accepting, but now it just seems to be very alienating). I believe Subeta has more integrity than that, and while some things may be released that not everyone sees eye to eye on (and that is FINE, it does not have to mean intolerance), I hope that we can all handle this with maturity.

The ambiguity of these things, the way staff doesn't go too far into specifics and sub-labels, is very important, I feel. And I respect them immensely for that.

September 8, 2015, 8:11 pm by

... I CAVED

YAY ACE REPRESENTATION

September 8, 2015, 8:10 pm by

I'm... just going to say that these items are really cute, and then I'm going to slowly back away.

September 8, 2015, 8:10 pm by

You're okay! I almost typed in Haruka when I went to ping you... So I understand. xD'

I just hope that no one takes what I said the wrong way... I'm seriously not trying to offend anyone. It's just really difficult for me to explain things sometimes, so one thing might sound like something else. It gives me a lot of stress to think that someone might think badly of me, because I try so hard to please everyone haha. I want people to discuss these things respectfully and feel safe to voice their opinions and reasons for agreeing or disagreeing without anyone jumping to conclusions.

I'm sorry all this had to happen on your post, Nico love. :(

September 8, 2015, 7:37 pm by

Your ping is the first one below, pinged Nepolink twice because I just woke up from a nap and am posting from my phone. Two things that shouldn't be done in combination lol

Dammit if that went through the first time and I spelled your un wrong. I blame my above reason for this.

September 8, 2015, 7:36 pm by

Your ping is the first one below, pinged Nepolink twice because I just woke up from a nap and am posting from my phone. Two things that shouldn't be done in combination lol

September 8, 2015, 7:34 pm by

It does seem like many words get twisted or people get too bent put of shape based on which words someone else chooses. It's unfortunate.

I'm autistic, it's not so bad.

September 8, 2015, 7:17 pm by

LMAO. Nobody can tell me to deal with stuff.

Anyway i just woke up and tought this was going to be another gender thingie. My bad to say such things like tumblr yes i admit. I just ran into people with special pronouns and those things like tiger-self, rats-self. They got rather angry when you say something about it to them (and it wasn't even anything bad) << i don't have problems with asexuals NPC, am asexual myself and got bullied for it for like years on school and even called autistic and more horrible stuff. I actually got glad something like asexual is here because all those years i THOUGHT i have been autistic. I have nothing against trans and all those things, just people with their special pronouns. And this has nothing to do with this. So yeh sorry for my offtopic rambling.

Love the new NPC's and the items.

September 8, 2015, 7:01 pm by

Tumblr hasn't invaded subeta. It's representation. Deal with it.

September 8, 2015, 6:47 pm by

I agree with you 100%. I hope you don't think I was saying people are uncomfortable with minority representation? That's not what I was intending to say at all. It's that these kinds of things can be really tricky if they're not handled carefully, because there are so many different people. One person who identifies as asexual might not identify in the same way someone else does, and that's when I've noticed the hostility starts. That's why I appreciate the ambiguity that adheres to both traditional definitions of asexuality as well as some of the newer ideas. You don't want to alienate someone because they feel a little differently about the same thing, as long as they're not being dickish about it.

Representation isn't making anyone uncomfortable, at least not that I can see? I may be wrong, forgive me if there's something I've missed. But the deeper problem seems to be about HOW that representation is handled, and what exactly we're representing.

yeah... I'm bad at wording things, so I'm never sure. It seems like everyone always wants to fight and twist words and accuse, and it makes me so uncomfortable. It's one of the reasons I'm still terrified to come out openly as bisexual... It's not the world I'm scared of, it's the supposed supporters...

September 8, 2015, 6:31 pm by

Uncomfortable with the representation of those scary minority groups on subeta.net?

It's not about "I like to sleep with X" "I aLSO like to sleep with x let's be friends" for a lot of us. It's about "Oh god, oh my god, someone else is like me, oh my god I'm not alone, I'm not broken, I'm not some fucked up piece of shit like I thought I was." It's about knowing you're not the only one out there like yourself, that you aren't "broken," that you aren't disgusting and sick and wrong. That you and your feelings are REAL and valid. It's validation when you see yourself represented in the world outside of your own mind.

To put this into perspective, I have a friend who was born without an arm. She's never really given it much thought, she's just her. But it never really occurred to her how incredibly validating it can be to see yourself represented in media until she saw Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road. Someone who was just like her. Someone who had the same difference as her, and yet who was still strong, and important, and incredible IN SPITE of something that in any other movie would have been a hindrance, a limiting feature.

So even if you don't understand why someone announces a fact about themselves -- I have cancer, I have BPD, I am bisexual, or any other thing someone CHOOSES to describe themselves or identify with (as labels are chosen for the benefit of the user), please try to be sympathetic and understand why they're doing it. It's not to feel uber speshul snowflakey uwu

It's because knowing you're not alone in a world that often refuses to know you exist, to portray you as anything but a stereotype, a cruel caricature, can lift a weight off your shoulders and give you faith that you aren't a huge flaw. People aren't their labels -- but their labels help describe who they are to the outside world. And no one should be shunned for simply stating "this is who I am."

September 8, 2015, 6:17 pm by

ACE CHARACTERS?!?!? I actually never thought I'd see the day this makes me so happy! Thanks for the representation Subeta <3

September 8, 2015, 6:17 pm by

ACE CHARACTERS?!?!? I actually never thought I'd see the day this makes me so happy! Thanks for the representation Subeta <3

September 8, 2015, 5:29 pm by

Asexual representation AND vegan cookies? I love you Subeta! ;V;

September 8, 2015, 4:14 pm by

ugh why are special chars disabled in news comments... ≠ = not equal = =/=

September 8, 2015, 4:12 pm by

I think what you're saying makes sense and we all need to show mutual respect even if we do not agree with something. Not agreeing ≠ intolerance, and people can disagree in a very respectful fashion, it does not mean we're arguing though. I don't believe anything I've said came from a place with disrespect to anyone, and if it has, that was not my intent.

September 8, 2015, 4:12 pm by

I shouldn't try to explain my own points of view while sick uurgh.

I love you, Nico (and Liz and Manwar)! :'( That's what's most important to me haha. <3

September 8, 2015, 4:08 pm by

I want to leave an example here, because it really made me think... There was someone who fell along the LGBT board, but they were absolutely uncomfortable with being called "queer" because that's what their abusers had called them. They were very not okay with terms like "queer platonic" and others... But they were very careful not to push that on anyone else. They just asked that the same respect be given to them.

So, even if you disagree with someone's labels, or labels at all, I think it's important to maintain basic respect. But that respect should be returned, and you should never automatically assume someone is being intolerant. You don't know their reasoning for feeling the way they do, and pressuring them to adhere to something they don't personally believe will only make them uncomfortable and create a bigger rift. We don't need to keep fighting! :( Try to understand why someone may feel the way they do, and share your point of view if you'd like. But these things are not black and white, as I said before, so please please don't assume people are trying to be bigots OR "special snowflakes".

Of course, there will ALWAYS be assholes... But you shouldn't let that define how you treat everyone else.

I'm sorry for going on about this. >-< It's something very important to me, and something I've struggled with, so I guess reading some of these comments struck a chord with me... I hope I don't appear disrespectful to anyone.

September 8, 2015, 3:54 pm by

slams fists on table MORE ACE NPCS. MORE LGBTQIA+ NPCS. MAKE THE BIGOTS CRY.

September 8, 2015, 3:38 pm by

I'm sorry! :( I think it's just human nature. I wish we could all just say "oh that's nice!" and move on, but things like this tend to be very complicated with big emotional impacts for some people. This isn't really the place for debate, but people should feel safe expressing their opinions in a mature way.

September 8, 2015, 3:34 pm by

I agree! I think the problem a lot of people have is when it becomes an isolating feature rather than something that should bring everyone closer together. You absolutely don't have to agree with everyone, that's okay! But many people (NOT all) can become nearly impossible to talk to without their gender/sexuality becoming the focus of the conversation. My advice for anyone would be... just don't talk to someone you don't get along with! But there can often become this "us vs. them" mentality that can poison a lot of things.

September 8, 2015, 3:31 pm by

Got rid of the debate forums only to have the news post comments section mutate into a new an not so improved version of it.

September 8, 2015, 3:29 pm by

Argh. Was reading over my previous comment again and I really hate how I worded this: "...but theyâ€™re more normal and expected so naturally they donâ€™t fuel as much excitement and get less comments."

Saying something like "more common" instead of how I said "more normal" would more accurately express what I wanted to say with that sentence.

Really mad at myself for that poor word choice since it seems to imply that asexuality isn't also something that should be considered normal. I identify along the ace spectrum and have struggled with feeling like I'm in some way broken or not normal and would hate for anyone else on the spectrum to think I'm implying that about them. :(

September 8, 2015, 3:28 pm by

Just going to put this out there, but denying someone their right to exhibit or recognize their sexuality is basically the same thing as saying "you don't see color". People have a right to be proud of who they are and should be allowed their ability to express themselves for what they are. Just because a sexuality doesn't define you, doesn't mean it can't be an important aspect to you. I just feel that if you respect everyone for who they are and you "don't see labels" then you shouldn't be the one focusing on how we shouldn't characterize sexuality.

With that being said I really like these items! The throw is particularly my favorite although the sweet words of the plushie really got me to write this post!

September 8, 2015, 3:28 pm by

Ace representation? ...I'm gonna cry ;___; Thank you so much!

September 8, 2015, 3:27 pm by

Also, those cookies look delicious! >.<

September 8, 2015, 3:23 pm by

I've been seeing a lot of negative references to tumblr here in the comments. I want to say that I totally and completely understand where some people might be coming from with the "oh God, it's tumblr" comments -- and I really hope nobody will think me a bad person for saying so! I don't think it's so much that Nico, Liz or these beautiful new items are a problem (because let's face it, the concept of asexuality HAS been around long, long before tumblr - that's just a fact of life no matter how you feel about some of the newer terms and labels), I think it's just that a lot of people who have had bad experiences with tumblr-brand social justice see things like this and their hearts drop. Especially since I assume a lot of people come here to get away from stressful situations like that (and for many, tumblr is a very stressful, very toxic place).

I understand why Nico and Liz's asexuality was mentioned, and it really was only one line. It might seem weird to hear someone say something like, "they bonded over their asexuality", but I can easily imagine different realistic scenarios where something like that could happen. Maybe someone thought they were dating, and Nico became visibly uncomfortable after they both denied it. Maybe Liz said something like "I don't date!" to that person, and something kind of clicked for Nico, and then they both talked about it. I know it can sound strange, but things like that can happen! They were probably friends before, but their shared experiences brought them together.

I've actually bonded with some of my friends over my OCD (and I didn't even know they had the same experiences!) and it was just neat to be able to feel like someone understood me. I felt closer to that person. I think that's just human nature. ^^

I won't get into detail how I feel about labels, but I think that some people see things like this and wonder if every single NPC is going to get a different sexuality or gender identity that suddenly becomes their defining feature, and being uncomfortable with that thought doesn't necessarily make someone phobic or hateful or intolerant. There are two very strong sides to this situation, and it's important to understand where each side is coming from. Some people absolutely love and embrace labels; for them, the more there are, the better! Others become uncomfortable for very real and understandable reasons. Trying to understand both points of view doesn't mean you have to agree! It seems to me like a lot of people in the comments have actually been very respectful, but there tends to be a knee-jerk reaction when someone voices any sort of non-super positive opinion about something along this vein, and I really wish that would stop. There will ALWAYS be jerks, but voicing your opinion politely does not make you one, nor does it mean you deserve to be called names or attacked. I think that's why posts that talk about certain aspects of LGBT can feel very damning to some. It can feel like you just can't win, because someone will always be offended.

I forgot where I was going with this, because I have a fever, so please forgive me for rambling! But things like this just aren't black and white, and I truly believe it's important to listen to all points of view here. And if tumblr is a great place for you, that's wonderful! It's just that many people have had very bad experiences there, and I think we can all agree that feeling like what you say doesn't matter at all is a very hurtful thing. For me at least, I remember those bad experiences I had in other places, and I become anxious that something I love and enjoy relaxing with is becoming a battlefield of gender identities and sexualities. Not everyone is going to agree, and that doesn't make what they're saying wrong. I don't think anyone outwardly opposes asexuality here, I think it's just a general feeling and worry of things on this site becoming focused on labels and terminology not everyone is comfortable with, with forced acceptance of these things.

So far, I think Subeta has done a wonderful job of being ambiguous enough to appeal to many different aspects of the same concept, but I understand where some frustration might be coming from. I hope that these things will continue to be handled with maturity and sensitivity!

(I'm so out of it, I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. xD')

September 8, 2015, 3:19 pm by

YYYYYYYYYYYYES ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION! Thank you Subeta!

September 8, 2015, 3:19 pm by

Aww, these are really cute, both the items themselves and the descriptions. The plushie in particular is absolutely adorable. â™¥

The overlay for the Beloved Fleece Throw is rather nice, too - it's always nice to see more items that change the avatar's pose a bit.

I'm glad to see more NPCs getting fleshed out, even if it's "just" through items and their descriptions (and a few comments here and there, like on this post). It's a good way to expand on characters who haven't gotten much focus during plots (or haven't been involved in plots for a while, as in this case), I think, and those items tend to double as nifty collectibles for those who like those NPCs to boot. 😊

September 8, 2015, 3:09 pm by

the issue that I am uncomfortable with people judging others solely on something like their sexuality.
That I might be, but my opinions will only ever represent how I feel. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I'd like to think most people can see where I am coming from.

September 8, 2015, 3:04 pm by

what issue? the issue that you and some others are uncomfortable with people focusing on something you don't think should be? i think you're overestimating how important that is to everyone else. Â¯(ãƒ„)/Â¯

Logged Out

Forum Shop: Best Friends

Leave a Comment