yes I actually have one of those. Thank you.

Oh my that sounds like a lot of work. Good luck! I am enjoying reading about the rescue work and Humane Society. I could read stuff like that every day, especially love all the photos of the fur babies.

goodness, gracious, you went through the gambit with all of that stuff!

I really hate that for you. Hopefully, you can find some ways to get through it without just feeling like you’re stuck. I really recommend looking up the term hygge. It’s helped me a LOT.

lol it is and each year a new adventure of sinterklaas. Oh that is hard sleep issues... no fun at all

lol...

how did the testst go???

Busy bee here, 3 swingshifts (today number 3), had to re-do my nursing actions at work (school day) yesterday before my shift. Was a LOONNGGG day but i passed all 😊

Rainy, gloomy and cold days here so far... fall hit us hard.. blegh! So changed my HA and could add all my 3 cats. Red/white = Meez Black/white = Mooz Black: Dua

- I did, and I'm all the stronger for it. :)

- :P Autumn has hit here, too. It's been in the lower 50f during the days and 30f during the nights here. Maybe it'll get cold enough to get some snow this year. A white Christmas would be nice. :) Did you get any Advent calendars this year? :D

Temperature is getting chilly where I am XD

Hi everyone. Sorry haven't been wanting to talk. Just tired, and mentally - as jersey said - not in a good headspace. Tho it definitely varies. Good and bad.

My father failed the third swallowing test. He basically had two choices. One: get the ng tube out and go home with a nearly certain development of pneumonia and death. Two: Get a PEG tube in the stomach and go to rehab and try to get stronger with the slight possibility of removing it and eventually eating again. Even tho he was really upset, Dad was actually quite clear and was able to ask questions. He even wanted to see a picture of it. He had three of his best friends, my son, my brother, and me all there when the nurse explained it. The friends really helped because they knew people personally that had had this thing done. Not to mention emotional support.

The procedure they wanted to do would put him to sleep and he would wake up and know nothing. I was worried about the anesthesia and affect on his heart and brain. He had a quintuple bypass in 2009 and recovered amazingly well. He had no trouble until a couple years ago when he developed a valve problem. He needed surgery but because of his age (93 or 94 then) they and my mother (an RN) did not think he would survive it.

Well, the gastroenterologist came by yesterday and said OK, but the cardiologist would have to sign off. In the mean time we found a wonderful place for him to go to rehab. His heart doctor (also mine but I only see him once a year) went to see Dad and assess after his stroke. When he called my son, who is the POA for my father, they had a long conversation in which he said that in no way was Dad able to be put under, and if we did manage to find an anesthesiologist that would do it, we wouldn't want him/her anywhere close. But he did say that there is a different procedure that uses local anesthesia, and he could endorse that.

Tomorrow or the next day, after going over everything, the surgeon is supposed to talk to us and give his recommendations and answer questions. Hopefully Dad will be cognizant enough to understand and add his input. It scares me. But maybe it won't be bad and it could let Dad live longer with a better quality of life. All he wants to do is go home.

Wow, can I just say - you're pretty dang impressive friend (and I hope you know it!). I'm glad you have been able to fight back so much of the depression, that alone is a great weight to hold. I'd not heard of non-24 before, but that makes perfect sense! The brain and sensory systems are an amazing thing, I love learning about them (although it's also overwhelming!). I'm learning a lot atm about pain and behavior for my job and oof, never before have I been so sure that "dog training" should be focused on welfare and life skills not just obedience or single behaviors. Wow, 30 degrees?! We're just dipping into some 60s and 50s lol. I'm loving it! I did just put my poor hubby on a plane to visit his mom. It was chilly enough for a light sweater here this morning, but will probably be too warm in the sun for outer layers come 8 or 9am. Meanwhile it's snowing where he's headed.

My pet Gwin has info about the topic too! And I have SO many photos of my babies, I'm currently going through years of photos and trying to pare down / organize lol. It's quite the task.

Congrats on passing! I love how you added your kitties to your HA, that's so cute.

Biggest of hugs to you my friend. I'm sure this is so painful. I wish I could help. My MIL got a PEG tube! She MUCH prefers it to the feeding tube and has been able to do so much more / feel more "normal" with it even while still in the hospital! I hope your father is able to have the local anesthesia procedure! I'm so glad you found a rehab option you love, and that you have good doctors guiding you all. It makes a huge difference. Hopefully all goes well and your father can settle into the rehab facility, where I hope he feels more "at home" than the hospital. Hopefully he'll also then be able to get started on more rehab, which can be empowering. Holding space for you and praying for him and your family.

I had 3 swingshifts.. monday, tuesday & wednesday. Those 3 nights i have been very busy with one of my residents as he was very sick and near the end of his life :( Cared for him (and his wife she also lives with us), when i saw changes i called the doc and family and there was something each evening... so landline between me, the doc and family. I gave care as best as i could so he was comfortable with these last few days. I got a call today... he passed away... :(

we had snow today! Not much and was gone fast due the rain and it's so clod!!! After sunday afternoon the cold will go away and warmer waether is coming... I am making so much typo's... Meez is laying on my arm while i am sitting at the table with the computer... nutter.. warm but not very comfy.

And what do you think... ofcourse i have advent kalenders lol! Mostly the dsame as last year.

oh i am sorry he failed the test, i do hope you get the answers of local sugery or maybe a feeding tube can stay of there is no other option? ANd i am glad you find hime a nice place, i understand he wants to go home but if he can't eat and there are no options... :(

yay! And i thought i would try and get a HA with all my kitties.

- I'm sorry, hon. It's a lot to deal with. The peg tube should be ok as they can do it while he's awake. They do give you a local and versed to help with the pain and tomake you more compliant during the proceedure. My PEG tube didn't hurt, not even when they took it out (another local anesthetic with versed.) Going to a rehab hospital is probably the best thing for him as they will be able to take care of him in ways you haven't even realized he needs help in yet, like going to the bathroom, etc. It will also help him get stronger. Personally, I hated my physical therapist but she heleped me relearn to walk so I loved her, too. XD I think your dad will do well there with them there to help him get stronger. Hugs

- It took me 5 years to pull myself out of the depression and I'm still not fully there yet. I still have fits of depression like when I realize I'll never see my youngest as the 20 year olf he is now. He'll always be 10 years old to me. Plus, it's been the stroke that keeps on giving meaning that every year since it happened I've had more and more things go wrong. It's a case of be strong and laugh at it all or jump off a bridge. XD I've decided to laugh. ;)

- Of course you've gotten your advent calendars! Silly question on my part. 😂 I hope they have all new goodies for you in them. :) It was 30f here this morning. I was freezing. Plus, it rained last night making it a damp cold so my back was not happy at all. I hate warm weather but at least my back doesn't ache as much during it. :D

Thank you for your positive and kind words. Unfortunately nothing went as planned. Dad suddenly took a bad turn and was unable to breathe through his nose, and breathing through his mouth was just horrible and took great effort for him. His stats plummeted and three doctors in different specialties said he couldn't do any sort of procedure at all and now needed to be in the hospital hospice. One doctor called me this morning and said Dad would not be going home. He would not live long enough. I ok'd all comfort things and then broke down. My son had just left the room and I called him back and then got my brother up there. Dad was given morphine and some other things and it helped, but we knew he didn't have long. A couple days at most. The three friends of my father I mentioned before as well as two of his other best friends, one is the pastor of his church, all came at different times and joined us over the next few hours. I was so glad that even though my father was not always coherent, he was cognizant that we were there and we all got to be with him. Gradually everyone left except me. They finally took Dad to his hospice room. As I said goodbye and I loved him, a flicker in his eyes told me he understood and then it was gone.

I went to my son's shop. We got something to eat and then he finished up a couple things and we headed back to the hospital. We were a few minutes too late. My father died at 6:49 11/22/24 this evening. All I can say is my heart hurts. Even though we knew he was close we were still shocked by the suddenness of it. Just devastated. And the mountain of things to do now is just overwhelming. It's hard to believe that ten days ago everything was fine.

huggles you tightly

My sweet friend, how much I wish this grief and pain had not come to you. Hearing of your father's last day - medicated for comfort, joined by his closest loved ones, aware enough to feel their warmth and love for him - I must imagine he felt peace. Your words - "I love you" - were surely the ship that carried him safely on a gentle breeze, across the waters to his next journey. I'm holding you so tightly in my heart, praying for you and your father's loved ones as you sit in the heaviness of this loss. Please reach out to me if you need.

I'm sorry your resident passed. I'm glad you were able to bring him so much comfort and joy over the last few days - he was lucky to have your protections.

It is unfair how resilient you must be - to overcome physical, mental, and emotional battles continually. I'll pray for continued strength and constant uplifting of your spirit. Wish I could do more. I'm so glad you're here, you are a force.

I am so sorry. Wish I could hug you. Glad you have family and can surround each other. Wishing you all peace and comfort. ❤

lol i forgive you. For some i can peek on the box and see what i get, not doing that as it spoils the surprise lol! Been a cold and rainy day here to,.. darn cold is back to :(

-cries- oh no!! -hugs you tight- I am sorry he had a worse turn but i am glad he went to the hopice and he found his peace. My condolences to you and your family.

aahhh thanks for the nice words.. needed that.

Well i had 2 busy days off: visiting my second cousin as he and his wife had a son, get my corona booster shot, did homework, supermarket, household stuff and went back to work this morning. Slept crap and it'sjst 7pm and i am so tired.. but i find it to early to go to bed, hoping to make it to 8pm.. then i may go to bed.. silly me.

When did fireside started? Probally when i logged off, missing a whole day now.

Evening all. Oh sneaky fireside, started last night while i was in bed and i could not get on until now. Missing a day already! No fun!

Oh... -hugs you thight- I am sorry your dad passed away :(

- My heart breaks for you. I know how much you love him. I really wish it had gone differently. Hugs ❤

- Thank you. lol 😂 No, peeking is no fun! I just hope, if you got the beauty products one again, that the lotion does not cause a reaction like the one did a few years ago. How nice, a little one for the holidays. They will have their hands full next year! Have you got all your decorations up yet? :D

- Fireside is sneaky like that. It's nice to see you here. Did Emory tell you what to do for the holiday? :D

- Thanks, hon, but my recovery seems very bittersweet right now. I remember being exactly where Chrysariel's father was in his recovery and it seems wrong, somehow, that I survived and he didn't. Survivor's remorse, I think, and it will pass but I still feel really bad about it right now. :((

Thank you all for your kind words and hugs back. <3

Don't you dare feel bad you survived and he didn't! Your circumstances were completely different. Besides, no one would have wanted you to feel this way, esp my father. You were also less than half his age but ten times incredibly worse off than he was with everything. You are still dealing with Hell, plus the new crap that keeps coming up! Believe me he would not ever envy you that and none of my family or myself either in any realm of existence. It was what it was, and what it was going to be, for both of you no matter what. You certainly never chose your fate. He didn't either. He fought through a quintuple heart surgery, then cancer with an uncaring doctor, and finally a stroke. But he lived well for years in between. In the end he did get his wish that when it was finally time for him to pass that he would not be in terrible pain, that it would happen fast, and that he would have lived a long wonderful life. His wish was to do all that but die in his sleep. Well, I guess he did that too. What else could you really ask for except to get what you really wanted? :) He was well loved by his family and friends and that is really all that you have in common. <3 Hugs

thanks! Yes she did explain and i read up on it here. So far getting stickers and food. Hope to get the rest soon :)

-hugs- you need a lot these couple of days, weeks, months.

I had enough csc for a 1 week ga -yay-

you have a good memory, i did a sneak peak and i don't see that product in the advent calendar. So i am good lol! Most of my decorations are up, i do have to remove some items when i go to sleep or go away. Sneaky cats... they will destroy it, they already knocked over a fake christmas tree, some ornaments did not make it....

-hugs you tightly- I wish you all the strenght and the love of your for you dad to make it trough these times.

oh my!! I’ll need to check it out. I’m very excited.

My condolences for you and the family. May your family remember the best times you all had and use those memories of laughter and love to help guide you through. I will say a prayer for you and your family. We’re here when you need to talk. hugs you tightly

hello!

Thank you. It means a lot. <3

Are you ok? I hope I didn't upset you. You know I love ya. <3