Granted, but it's completely covered in pepper instead of salt.

I wish I had something to nom.

Granted, but it's been poisoned. Sorry. :c

I wish I understood k-pop when I listened to it. xD

Granted, but then no other music makes sense.

I wish I didn't have to wait until Thursday to have money.

Wish granted, but you die from the weight of the money surrounding you.

I wish the sky was orange.

Granted, but sadly that's the sign of the coming apocalypse and we're all doomed. And all before you wished for it. Thanks.

I wish this obnoxious kid would leave.

granted. But then 10 more obnoxious kids take his place.

I wish I hadnt blacked out on new years eve. xD

Granted, but you now suffer blackouts on Christmas every year.

I wish I could be happy all the time.

Granted but you were so happy everyone hated you. I wish i could shapeshift into anything...

Granted, but you have to stay the shape of whatever you choose for one year at a time.

I wishhhhhh...... I knew what to wish!

Wish granted, but every wish you make is destined to go horribly wrong.

I wish I could play with radioactivity without getting cancer or other terminal diseases.

Granted, you turn into a huge monster that can only live for a day.

I wish I wasn't scared of making business phone calls. (Ex: Making doctor appointments, calling my bank, reviewing the status of job applications, etc. I make them, but I am always nervous afterwards and I have to wait for a few minutes before I can make another call.)

Granted, you're now perfectly fine making business phone calls. However, now every time that you try to make a phone call that isn't business, you end up panicking.

I wish I had legitimate social skills.

(Haha. I actually do panic sometimes when I call friends. I am a strange person, yes.)

Granted, but then no one wants to socialize with you because your social skills end up being so amazing.

I wish I had a princess-looking bed.

Granted, but it's incredibly uncomfortable.

I wish I wasn't such a coward.

Oh goodness. I do not even want to ruin your wish since I see that it is your birthday. Happy Birthday!

Granted, you become really assertive to the point it is uncomfortable for others.

I wish that the Pokemon Center Store in New York still existed.

Granted, it exists. Sadly, it doesn't sell anything.

I wish I could freaking get a job already! (Sorry, frustrated.)

('Tis cool. I am searching for a job as well. v.v)

Granted, but you do not have time for anything else.

I wish I did not have to take this gross medicine.

Granted, you have to take one that's more disgusting.

I wish there was more time until Monday.

Wish granted, but then you get stuck in time.

I wish lemons weren't sour.

Granted, but instead they become way too sweet.

I wish I could grow a money tree.