Granted; but not only are they quiet, they're DEAD. You get blamed for it and put in jail.

I wish I had a pony.... THAT LIKES TO EAT FRENCH FRIES >8D

Granted, but you won't be able to enjoy them. You're stuck in your room with nothing to do.

I wish I could have an immortal pet fish that won't poison me.

Granted, you now have a billion magikarps

I wish I had a job

granted, but you have to work for the next 10 years at the current minimum wage

i wish my leg didn't hurt

Granted, but now your arm hurts.

I wish I didn't have a mosquito bite on the bottom of my foot.

granted, but now you have one on your ear

i wish tv was less addicting

Granted, now you are addicted to watching the microwave pop popcorn.

I wish I could live in a video game for a day.

Granted, but that video game is Resident Evil and you're surrounded by zombies who want to eat your face off. (Alternatively, Pacman.)

I wish I could stop having nightmares.

granted

but now you don't sleep at all

I wish I was a successful journalist ;~;

granted, but you work for the tabloids

i wish the media didn't blow things out of proportion

Granted but now everyone has nothing to complain about and die.

I wish I could see my friends more often and enjoy their company and them enjoy mine.

Granted but nobody else enjoys your company or theirs

I wish I wasn't so anxious all the time

Granted, but now that you aren't worried about anything you're careless and get hit by a bus

I wish I had a pony.

Granted but it's plastic.

I wish I was more confident.

Granted, but only because you're too dumb to know you're wrong.

I wish i was travelling Europe.

Granted but while you're there a giant earthquake hits.

I wish I could see my friends longer.

Granted but it has terrible toxic gas

I wish I wasn't so tired

Granted but you're sick.

I wish I could see AND talk to my friends more often. Ha.

Granted, but they hate you.

I wish the outdoor concert I was at last night didn't get rained on D:

Wish Granted, but since I had to go back in time and change the weather, it effected todays climate and you get stuck with a seven year drought.

I wish for a breakfast burrito.