There are three people that have been lost this year that I will miss so much and it is so hard thinking about how many important people in my life that are now gone!!!

In January a dear neighbour's wife passed away. My family and I knew them since I was really small! Then in March the husband passed away too. The doctor said he grieved so much he simply gave up on life. I used to come over for hot chocolate and we'd always watch football together. My older brother always helped outwith lawn work and house chores.

Then my grandmother passed away in May. I was very sad as I loved going to her house and learning how to make cookies and pies! I have all her recipes written down in a special book and will always think of her whenever I bake!

My favourite teacher was killed in a car crash this past August! Apparently she was struck by a drunk driver and was killed instantly. I loved her as she was always encouraging me to keep up with my studies. She always told me that even though I'm in a wheelchair I can still be whatever I want in life! Because of her I now love science and want to work in a lab!

I will miss them all!

I meditate a lot and have learned that our "lost" ones are truly not lost. They are still "here" just in the astral realm so that we in the physical realm cannot feel, hear, or see them but, they still guide us, like all our ancestors do.

There are 2 people whom are among them; my mother and brother. I lost my 18 year old brother in '98 to sarcoma cancer. I was only 7 at the time, still too young to understand a damn thing. Then years later, I lost my mother to lung cancer last year. She passed away on the 21st of August at 59 years old. I should have figured because she lost her parents about that age but, I had hoped I would have her for longer. I miss her dearly and all the nostalgia makes it all that much worse. She used to play the PS2 until the wee hours at night after coming home from work. I may be one of the many few children who had parents that played videos games, haha. There just too much to talk about her and not enough words to explain who she was. As someone mentioned, she was my mother so you get the gist of it. Although, has anyone had any paranormal experiences after their loved one has left? When I was younger, I felt as someone pulled my hair which I immediately knew it was my brother messing with me and something similar happened with my mother but it was her placing her hand on my shoulder or something like that.

I'm sorry that all of you have had to say goodbye to family members and friends. Especially against cancer.. it truly is a beast.

I have missed Justin for forever. It took me forever to be okay with it. I used to cut and cry and wonder why it wasn't me instead of the most amazing person I knew...and that's all I can get out...

I am so proud of each and every one who has shared here. It is not easy but it means so much to me that you do so. Thank you.

After I have moved away for college I find myself missing my family around the holidays, but the person I most likely miss the most is my grandfather. He passed away quite a few years ago now after an accident that he never recovered from. I miss him greatly as he was always someone who accepted me for who I was, the odd little black sheep in the family. He never questioned me and always was there to comfort me when I needed him most. I'll never forget him. I always think about what he would say when people's actions start getting me down. I'm disappointed he couldn't be around to see me get married finally after being with someone for over 10 years but I know he's there always in my mind and in my heart.

this is a lovely thread, thank you for posting it. <3

I really miss my Dad who passed away when I was 14 (Im 19 now but I think about him every day). Every day during the holidays he would make my FAV foods and my mom used to yell at him for making them so much (as they were fattening but who cares!), but he didnt care. He LOVED how excited I got over certain foods. It made him laugh a lot. My Grandma, bless her soul, passed away a few months ago actually, pretty recently. She protected me from the abuse of my mom for many years. During the holidays she used to give me presents :) It was a great feeling knowing someone loved me for me. I never had that growing up. I try to make the best of the holidays and not dwell on the past, but I miss them both so much, they meant nearly everything to me.

I miss my buddy, Ken. He is still with us, but was diagnosed early in the year with ALS, and his health is failing fast.

I met Ken when I was a Junior in High School, and he was a Senior, and we've been friends in the over Quarter-Century since. We've helped each other get jobs, been roommates on occasion, played in the same band during our college years, were the Best Man at each others weddings, and taken our respective families on joint vacations over the years. No matter how often I visit him (and I try to get over to his house at least every other day if, for nothing else, to help with the cleaning and yard-work - his wife is a real Saint). I feel like the minutes are slipping away.

I'm missing my grandpa this year. The guilt is terrible. I moved away from home several years ago to escape my life and start over. I only made it back to visit one time in the last five years, and that was the last time I saw him. I knew his time to go was getting close, but I couldn't make myself go back home because of all the reasons unrelated to him. Last Christmas, I was supposed to fly back home for a few weeks, but my flight got canceled because of the big snowstorm. The next flight they could get me on was several days after Christmas, so I decided to just skip the whole thing and not go at all, because I didn't even really want to go anyway. My grandpa died two weeks after Christmas, and because of my stupid selfishness and the stupid weather, I wasn't there and I never got to say goodbye to him. He was 93.

He was my last surviving grandparent. My mom's parents both passed before I can remember, and my dad's mom passed when I was 10. My dad's parents took care of my sister and me when we were little. They basically raised us because my parents worked so much and didn't want to send us to a babysitter. They were the best grandparents. We always had Christmas at their house until my grandma went to a nursing home. I feel like my grandpa was the biggest, most important link to my childhood, and now that link is gone. I just wish I could've said goodbye. He never really understood why I left, and never understood why I couldn't come back.

Echoing what other people have said: don't wait until it's too late to put aside petty disagreements. It affects many more than just you and the person you're disagreeing with. And the guilt when you realize it's too late is so, so hard.

feeling guilty can do no good and only bring you distress. Just try to remember the lesson learned for the future. Thank you and all the other new people, for sharing your memories.

thank you for this well i to lost my mum and im the same Georgie she was my mum and thats all i say .its painful and to you all hugs and prayers ,positive thoughts and remember they are in no more pain.watching down over us..i have lost alot of people here on subeta as well ,gina my love miss you so much and joe.may you both dance away each night by the moonlight....in real life i lost too many to name but my brother was the worse back before my mum he was 42.....not long ago my daughter in law lost her sister she was 31 with 5 little ones, well today i can say 3 of those beautiful babies are living with her and my son and their 3 children wow 6 kids lol i hope they fit in.anyways enough please take care and remember for us who have lost we have gained as well as all we do is look up.....

I can't even begin to fathom losing my mom and my spouse (especially if we were parents) so close together. Like, remotely. The fact that you're even still present in life, let alone remotely functional, is a testament to you and your strength.

It wasn't this year (though it feels like it was bleeping yesterday) but I recently lost my best friend and my grandfather within a week of each other. My best friend was a freak accident and my Grandfather was a somewhat unexpectedly hastened departure from cancer. It still hurts to even think about it, honestly. I tend to find my days still soaked in denial, until I think "I should tell her-" or something along those lines. It still feels like she's just far away (the accident happened on a vacation).

My best friend was an amazing person, and we were (non-romantic) soulmates. Unique but perfectly snapped together, like a puzzle. And she was amazing all by her lonesome, wicked smart and probably going to cure cancer or some other vicious disease with her awesome medical research skills. My grandfather was an awesome man, a veteran and a great father all in one. He supported and loved my mom and her brother, as well as my step-aunt and step-uncle like nobody's business. He was very much the family rock in many ways, and always had a cheeky but loving comment to make your day brighter. He was a bit of everything (country upbringing, petty officer - commissioned had he wanted it, but chose retirement - in the navy, extremely talented photographer) all rolled into one.

I miss them both terribly, and the holidays do have that terrible habit of just rubbing it in. Halloween was always the holiday my best friend went all out on, so it is hard in that respect, and Christmas reminds me of both but more my Papa.

Edit: Oh, and yeah, I know that guilt feel. I was supposed to go visit my Grandfather for the last time a few days after he ended up passing. I wish so bad I'd gone with my Mom a little earlier in the year, although honestly she said he was hardly himself at that point and I take some solace in that. I got to see and talk to him not too long ago, when he was entirely present, so I just hold on to that.

My best friend I hadn't seen for a while before she left (she had to move to go to school, I had moved further away and had some depressive issues, lots of reasons) but we had finally gotten to texting a bit right before she left, with promises to start hanging out more regularly again once she got back. I still want to straight up bash my head against the wall for having ever drifted apart, I miss 'us' so bad. If I knew I only had so many years I wouldn't have wasted a moment of them. But you never can know, so I try to just take that insight and apply it better to my other relationships. It's still so very very hard, especially since all of my remaining friends were in our mutual circle (we actually introduced or connected most of them).

Around this time when I was 13 I lost my grandfather and he was the most amazing man ever. He was pretty rich, like really rich, but he hardly spent it on himself. The kids in the area where his house was every time he saw them he gave them a dollar and told them to save it up. For special days he'd give a bit more then just a dollar, telling them to save it up. One of the girls who he did this with put herself halfway through college with the money he gave her. And he spare no expense for me and my sisters. I loved going to his house because it was a very old house, and had hidden rooms and hallways and was so neat the way it was set up. I cried so hard when he 'passed away' because it was the most unfair thing ever... it wasn't his time to pass and I won't get into it because... I don't want to talk about how it happened. But either way... I always think of him every time I go out for Italian or buy deli meats cause of our heritage. But most importantly we had a really strong bond. I was named after him. There is not a single person I miss more than how much I miss him. I'm gonna stop now cause it's getting a bit too hard to type.

But thank you for this amazing board, and the chance to let out a little about a wonderful man. I send positive energy to everyone else who has posted and hugs all around as well.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, the holidays can be a dark reminder of what used to be.

I lost my mom and my grandmother last year, not even two months apart. The worst part about it I think is that I never got to have the mother daughter relationship with my mom like a lot of people are blessed with. She was diagnosed with leukemia when I was 11, and about a year later she was also diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, after that things quickly went down hill from there. Before she became bed ridden (which she remained so for the next 13 years and was in an unmeasurable amount of pain) she worked 3 jobs to keep a roof over our head. She just never had time, not her fault in the least bit, she was an amazing parent and loved me unconditionally. I miss her a lot, and this christmas feels harder than the first without her because I am pregnant with my first child (the granddaughter she always wanted). I wish more than anything I could have shared this with her, and it breaks my heart that my little Lilith will never know the intelligent, beautiful, loving person my mother was. Both her and my grandmother, embodied love, and it feels like there can be no such thing as a holiday without them.

I really wish I could afford to gift every person who has posted here. You each one deserve something to brighten your days a bit.

I have just become convinced I am going to die of cancer, but hey I get to be with fam again!!!!

Wow, thats really rough. I hope a bit of light can be spread to you through out this holiday season. :)

This year we lost my church's Bishop, Mr. Lee from his fight with cancer. He was also the principle of the high school in town and the father to some of my friends. I know it seems a bit weird since he wasn't family, but the loss is still felt. The whole community just feels and acts a bit different. Then I haven't lost my old good friend, Nachi. We used to be really close and then some stupid, literally brain-washing guy started 'loving' her and she's just not the same. She won't talk to anyone but him and its just really sad to see how far she's fallen, mentally. sigh So this month is a little bitter-sweet, I guess.

I still have Big Sis Lorrie but she has cancer... ~ I just do not want to be left all alone!! , no one else going UNLESS I can follow!! ~

Five years ago in August, I lost my best child-hood friend to a blood clot that cut off flow to her brain very suddenly. She was fourteen when she died, and even though I never met her in person, it's still hard to imagine holidays without a courtesy call, as we always had, even after we stopped being as close as we were when we were young. More importantly, last year, on the sixth of January, I lost my great-grandmother at ninety six years old. She'd been in the hospital for three years, and ever day, suffering from dementia, she would pack her things and wait by the door, promising the nurses her late husband was coming to pick her up. After a struggle with four types of cancer, age, and the mental toll of her illness, she finally passed away just after the holidays. I regret avoiding going to see her for the last few months. She was very important to me despite that we weren't close. I know she's at rest, now, though, and at least that is comforting.

Gosh. I miss my grandma and her 2 brothers. All 3 passed away at different times. I still cry about it. And I miss my cousin back home and her 3 kids.... ANd I miss my grandpa who still hasnt been the same since grandma passed. He's been depressed for 3 years now. Nothing can make him happy.

I am still reading all of your posts. I am sorry there are so many hurting hearts. :(