I'm the worst person when it comes to dealing with conflict or even a normal conversation where the person doesn't agree with me, so I'll be here reading the answers too. ^^;

Conflict has been minimal in my social life thankfully, so this is primarily about conflict in the work place. It's been a tricky subject for me. I usually tended to keep my anger/upset bottled up until it comes out in a passive aggressive way. My former boss noticed this and she gave me a talk about how I should speak up more in general, and I took that to heart and become better at addressing problems before they got worse. I'm just someone who wants to go to work, do my job, and go home without 'ruffling any feathers', as they say. But I had also learned to keep my mouth shut at the first job I had right out of college, where our supervisor pretty much bullied everyone into being quiet because if you voiced your concerns about how she was treating people she'd take all these mistakes you made in the past and bring them all up and make you feel guilty/hypocritical.

So for me, conflict avoidance was both a learned and natural response. I must thank my most recent boss for helping me to find my voice and become a better communicator. She was one of those rare leaders where she didn't just see me as an employee, but she really cared about me as a person.

I know I've made progress on this front because I've been very assertive with the rental company that manages this house I'm in. I tell them right away when there's a problem with the house I need fixed, and if they drag their feet, I call them on it, but not in a way that's aggressive (no matter how angry I am inside). Just assertive, which is the healthiest place to be in my opinion. And things have gotten accomplished because of it.

I avoid it at all costs, if it does show be a rock. When I can leave the situation, I turn to hammer and axe therapy. Venting my frustration on logs or broken concrete is a better outlet than blind stupidity.

It can be difficult to be part of a non violent, neutral, and peaceful group when the majority choose the polar opposite. Thinking might makes right, that only by force can change come. All those powerful, feared people from history share one thing, they're all dead now. Or well on the way.

there is something magical in venting through using nature. i used to do a lot of ceramics and it felt amazing to let go by poking and throwing around a bunch of clay.

q: it's uncomfortable to be confronted with people who have such differing viewpoints, especially if they are so hateful in it. it's important to remember they're human, too. they have reasons why they think that way. understanding those reasons can be integral to pointing out the flaws in their argument.

I'm dealing with that with the person I'm seeing rn. he has a lot of hatred and anger and it was very offputting. we had a lot of talks and i wasn't afraid to challenge his beliefs and question why. i taught him compassion (i hope lol) but there is still a lot to get through. it's important to remember that it's not your job or responsibility to correct and challenge every person you meet.

however, i am tired of letting irrational arguments slide and i have been actively challenging that when people talk about it. it's exhausting, and you have to remember it's not your job to change them. and often, many people don't change.

as an aside, I'll be a lot less active. there are a lot of fires going on right now in california and my area :( we are close to being evacuated if the fires get any closer.

How do you deal with conflict?

I very rarely do actually. I'll try to hold my ground, but it tends to leave me quite shaken afterwards no matter what the conflict was about. Normally I try to hear their side of the story and find a middle ground, but it doesn't always work. So normally it's just to let them have their way (even though at times I know I'm in the right), message my boyfriend and/or best friend and just... do stuff to relax afterwards.

Today's question:

Which character traits do you value most in other people?

My personal answer: Honesty, spontaneity, compassion and humour. Out of experience, I'd say these are the ones which usually positively impressed me the most in past social interactions.

Kindness, loving, accepting, tolerant, and maybe a little bat-crap crazy when the time calls for it.

Which character traits do you value most in other people?

Honesty, compassion and patience... yeah I think those answer it best!

Which character traits do you value most in other people?

Honesty, empathy, compassion, intelligence, open-mindedness... I always appreciate people who want to listen, learn and be kind to others. I do also value intelligence, though, but I appreciate many different kinds of intelligence.

A loner like me seeks acceptance, by letting me be myself. This T-600 exterior can stay an unfeeling machine. Or the seeminly human part can surface slowly.

Compassion and self-awareness.

I find that self-awareness is an underlying factor to most of what makes a friend better in my eyes. It means she's able to recognize what she's saying and doing, and the impact it has on others.

thanks! it's really stressful. https://www.fire.ca.gov/incidents/ if you zoom in to the bay area, I'm in the san jose area under san Francisco. we are basically boxed in, top, bottom, left, and right by fires. they are not contained because there are not enough firefighters to control the fires and because there are just so many fires that are growing out of hand. we have had a record-setting heatwave and the air is very dry.

we had dry lightning storms, which sparked a massive amount of fires in the area. many homes have already been lost. we also lost a significant portion of nature as some of the national parks were destroyed. we have redwood trees that are hundreds of years old. it's just very stressful overall. haven't been getting much sleep if I'm to be honest.

oh yea, and we're in a pandemic. so the shelters aren't a safe place to go either. sigh, it's all very scary.

Today's question:

Are you married or would you like to get married some day?

My personal answer: I just came back from a wedding and I am really close to falling asleep. I am not married but if I find the right person one day, I wouldn't mind getting married. Especially tax-wise that would be a smart choice but technically, I don't really have strong feelings about that. I am not religious so I wouldn't opt for a church wedding but a wedding outside or maybe at the beach or something like that certainly sounds like fun :) Will answer everyone later since I am wayyyy too tired.

Not an option, not for an old obsolete T-600 like me. I refuse to believe anyone would be so stupid. What reward is worth it?

Here is one of the slush cups I made for my friends

I would like to get married some day. It is hard for me to imagine getting married since I have never been in a relationship before, but I do hope to find that special someone someday that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm not married and have never been in a relationship or in love before. Never even had a crush on anyone. Never been interested in romance. Ever since I was young I have always wanted an older brother figure. Never thought about wanting a lover. I find more beauty in close people loving each other dearly in a sibling way, especially if it is a big brother and a little sister kind of relationship. I do want to get married for personal reasons though. I hope someday I find a big brother figure who will love me dearly as a little sister and who I will mean a lot to.

Which character traits do you value most in other people?

Critical thinking skills, open mindedness, empathetic, progressive/forward thinking, fiscally responsible, strong work ethic.

Are you married or would you like to get married some day?

Not married and not sure if I want to get legally married or not. I'm kinda okay with just common-law. A ceremony would be nice but super expensive for what I'd like. I also definitely want to meet some health and fitness goals before a ceremony so... idk, lol. Plus my gender identity changes a lot so I'm not sure how I'll feel at the time of the ceremony which definitely complicates things.

thank you! trying our best. this year has definitely been the worst so far. the fires are so close and we don't have enough people to fight them. the weather is also not favorable at all. we're predicted to have more dry lightning sun-tues so we are on a fire watch right now.

some of my friends are on evacuation warnings and if the wind shifts again, will be evacuated. luckily we're okay right now where we are located.

Are you married or would you like to get married some day?

I'd like to get married someday, it'd be nice to just be with the person I love and just.... yeah, I think I could be really happy if me and my BF got married. :)