same dear ;/ You know Keep trying I know you can do this!

I'm sorry to hear that you didn't get the apartment. :( big hugs Keep on trying though! <3 I'm sure you'll be able to find something better again! And I agree with everyone else: I don't think the landlord's decision had anything to do with you personally. So don't let it bother you too much.

My mom said it's because I gave bad vibes and I wasn't happy looking at it. She was trying to make the "situation more pleasant" and told the landlord "I can't wait to visit and bring cookies".

I have anxiety and depression and I feel it's all my fault. I was trying to talk to my mom via text and she was giving me the hand wave emoji, so I was getting upset. She said it's me and my negativity. I said "you hate me or something" and she said "think what you want".

So... I feel hated, discriminated against because I also have a personality disorder, I feel angry, I hate myself and I'm a POS. It's all my fault.

And my mom is ignoring me. Won't answer the phone

It's not your fault. <3 I know you find that hard to believe, but it's true. Although it's unfortunate that you didn't get the apartment, you tried your best. And we already know how your mom is, so don't believe her. She's wrong about why it happened. You're much, much, MUCH better of a person than she's giving you credit for.

I'm so sorry you didn't get the apartment! And I'm sorry you're going through this turmoil now. I can guarantee that you didn't lose out on the apartment because of vibes though. Landlords don't care about vibes, they just care about the first person who can pay the rent who signs the papers. And unfortunately it sounds like someone got to sign the papers before you did. ): Your mom sounds manipulative, I'm intimately familiar with a mother like that. Mine used to feed my anxiety fire in the exact same way. It's like she wanted me to be as miserable as she possibly could make me, but then convince me that I had done it to myself. A promise of cookies isn't gonna get anyone an apartment. :P Good luck, you can still find a better place, the fight isn't over!!

Oh no - that's too bad. but maybe something better will come up soon. I hope so! Agree with Austria.

Well at least she's willing to go see places and seems like she's taking the issues at your current place more seriously than before. I'm sorry you didn't get this one. However this also puts you mind forward for ideas on what you're willing to reduce to be able to attain better health overall by moving. When you do move check out thrift shops for some fixtures of things you'll need. Often if you know how to look them over you can snag deals for a fraction of even "sale" prices at main shops.

Sorry to hear that you didn't get the apartment. :( I hope something comes along soon! You definitely need to get out of a place that's full of mold and smoke. And your mom is being really unfair to you. :/

did you get ur apartment yet ????

how's it going? A bit late to this 'party.' i'm sorry you didn't get that apartment, but surely something else appeared? or at least will. i live wit fiance and fiance smokes. I cant stand it :( at least not anymore. i'm using Air-wick freshmatic max anti-tobacco and it works wonders. It also lasts for quite some time. i forgot when i bought this spray can.. 2-3 months ago? it still goes strong. but i'm not using it in the machine. i spray when i feel the need, by hand as if it was a perfume, but in the air. It simply cleans the air of the smoke and smells nice too.

I also use laundry softner(or conditioner, or whatever it's called.. cocolino, i just finished the other brand now). It really works with making the clothes smell nicer and it's not overpowering either. Fiance also bought a spray for the 'linens' in the house -bed sheets, curtains, carpets. it's supposed to make these smell nice and reduce the sensation they get sometimes, of not being able to breathe. They say it helps. I say it smells nice. this spray is in a bottle that you can refill with whatever you want after use.

obviously, now i'll assume (or assumed, better said) you're not using these products for a reason or another, so i recommend you try them out. especially the air-wick spray -it's a canned spray, under-pressure. please forgive me, if i assumed wrongly, sometimes it can't be helped. u.u

we lived for 1 year in a dark apartment - we became depressed. and i can't even say how it was dark since it did have big(ish) windows in all the rooms, including the kitchen, but they all faced the north :( west and south are the brightest orientations. i'm so happy we moved out.

stay strong! it really wasn't your fault that you didn't get the dark and small dungeon.

still looking

I'm still looking to move. My lungs are suffering. The smoke settles on my clothing in my dresser, closets, on my fruniture ect. I don't use scented products for a reason due to psoriasis.

aww man :( i'm sorry. the only thing i thought of, as a reason not to use those products, was not being able to stand any scent at all.

is the whole city expensive? or the less pricey areas are shady or too far? Is there no way for you to move in with your parents again and maybe pay some rent to them instead? -but lower. until you find a better solution or some friend? family friend? i guess, you thought of these options already, and they're probably no go :( stay strong!

Inexpensive areas of town are shady AF (drug dealers, junkies, prostitutes ect). The rest of the city... I cannot afford. The good areas are SUPER pricey. I can't do $850 and up. Some apartments are $1,200 depending on the area you want to reside in. My parents.... they won't take me back. My mom already said "NO. NOT HAPPENING".

So... I'll keep searching until something pops up. It'll be awhile (years) before a single bedroom housing unit is available.

Mother insists on moving back with them because i'm not married or something. -.- there's basically no space, i moved out because of the alcoholic father, and now in winter grandpa lives with them. The irony of our situations. :(

hey, try not to give up hope. Just keep on looking at ads. Join FB groups for your city. Not asking you to say where you live, because privacy, right? but on FB there's a group dedicated to foreigners living here. i joined it and i often see ads for apartments available for renting. Sure, some of them are too expensive for what they are or where they are, but they appear at least weekly. there are about 2 million ppl living in my city, (if this is helpful in any way,) and it's the largest city in the country.

I understand it's hard for you. don't forget you can always come on the forums to rant about your situation.