Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. You don't like anyplace that you can afford. At least where you are now you know all of the problems. Any new place could have other problems you wouldn't find out about until after you moved. Things like noisy neighbors at night, strange smells once a week, etc...

You already hate anyplace you would move, so why buy more trouble?

If your current situation is making you literally sick, I'd just move. On top of that, you say you can sell some of your current things to help pay off your debts. That sounds like a good deal to me. You don't have to live in this new place forever so as a temporary fix it's not that bad. If the reason you mention light is because of your depression, can you find ways around it? If it's just a preference I'd definitely move and try to get a better place down the line.

just cause xD

Omfg. Wayfair is so fucking expensive, but they have not too bad of a deal when they have a massive sale and HORRIBLE THEY SUPPORT HIM!!!

I wouldn't hate anyplace I go to that's clean, quiet and looks well maintained.

The four I viewed were literally like this current apartment. Even my mom and brother were like "nooope!". One landlord wanted a $150 deposit for a key. That's illegal. He can't ask for any kind of deposits.

I just feel this one is too small (two tiny windows and none in the bedroom) but I'm not used to a small place. I'm coming from a very large roomy place. It'll just be an adjustment I have to get used to.

You're right. I'll just have to get some UVB lamps or whatever to make it bright :)

You're right. I'll just have to come up with a sketch that will give me an idea of what I can do and how I can make it bright and lively. When I stirred up some mold last night (my finger went through the corner of the floor), it was so so bad. I thought I had eaten something with nuts in it. I had a lump in my throat, it was hard to swallow and I couldn't breath. Felt like I had tissue in my nostrils. I ran to my CPAP and filled the canister. As soon as I put it on, I could slowly start breathing better. Took 2min.

It's awful here. I know I will feel TONS better living in a clean place.

RIGHT? It's like... everywhere you go now, someone somehow supports Trump. Like did you take leave of your intelligence or something??

My Uncle supports him. He thinks he's the Messiah x___x (careful. we can't talk politics)

To get on topic, I'll come up with a sketch of what I kind of have in mind

I can't really add much to the conversation because everyone else has already made good points, so I'll just agree that even though this apartment isn't 100% for you, it still sounds like a better (albeit temporary) option to take to get you out of the shit place you're in right now. Plan as much as you can to prepare for moving if you definitely decide to follow through. And as always, try to keep your head up and keep on striving for what's best for you. <3

No, we can talk politics. We can't debate them because people forgot to be civilized about it on a kid-oriented petsite, lmao.

But anyways.

I'd love to see the sketch. c:

I didn't get the apartment. My mom said "It's because you give bad vibes". Sorry that I'm depressed and had an anxiety attack while I was there.

I was actually going to go for it just so I can get out of here.

Your mom is ...... I don't even know any more...

I'm sorry you didn't get the place... But I hope something better comes up for you and soon.

I don't know either ._.

Sorry you have to deal with all that... it's not right.

Your mother sounds like the aunt I had to cut out of my life. Pathetic and determined to drag everyone else down with her.

Did the landlord/lady give reason to why you didn't get it? Or was it just a case of rampaging mental health discrimination?

He didn't say anything other than "Thank you for inquiring about our apartment. It's been rented"

it's not your fault that you're depressed but your prospective landlord or landlady probably doesn't know about your or your life history. You never really know what's going on in another person's head. To them, your anxiety attack could have just looked like you were being weird or rude. Don't be hard on yourself, but don't hard on your mother either, because she's right that the owner might have gotten the wrong impression.

Have they made a final decision about who's getting the place? Maybe you could call them and say you were feeling sick or something (that's easier for people to understand) and ask if you can visit it again.

EDIT: I just saw your new reply. It probably had nothing to do with you. If there's a lot of competition for a place they make a decision based on a ton of factors, for all you know the new tenant could have just offered to move in and start paying immediately.

Wow. Jackass.

No chance of seeing it again. He's rented it.

I saw that after I posted and I edited my post! Like I said in my edit, for all you know it had nothing to do with you and everything with the competition being fierce and just making a better offer.

Dont give up. When everything is shit you gotta keep pushing or else nothing will change Sorry hun :(

If there was a magic switch to turn off depression and anxiety, I would do it.

Man, I'm sorry. :/ But others who said it were probably right and it wasn't you personally... you said it yourself, it was an affordable apartment in an area where everything else is either really crappy or too expensive.

But I agree with Puncture... don't give up. Don't let this one setback beat you. You found one apartment, you can find another. AND don't let your mom get you down. SHE's the one with the bad vibes, you ask me. Don't give in to her negativity!