Granted, but you slowly go insane. Also, you still feel sleepy despite not needing sleep.

I wish that my home was always tidy.

Granted, but now it’s always dirty. No matter how hard you scrub, that dirt will never come off.

I wish I could code so I could make myself and my pets profiles

Granted, but now you can write nothing on the internet but code language.

I wish I had an older brother figure.

Granted! You now have an older brother - but they're the most condescending, annoying jerk ever and they won't leave you alone!

I wish I were eating a Baconator right now.

Granted, but it gives you an ecoli infection, and you know the rest.....lol

I wish I could have a puppy :D

You get the puppy, but he is the size of a small cow. Everything on every surface is knocked onto the floor by his tail, and you slip in his slobber puddles.

I wish to live in an apocalyptic Mad Max-esque world(I know this one is easy, MAKE ME REGRET IT)

-Dive

I have no idea what a "apocalyptic Mad Max-esque world" is.. :( so this may not even work but, I'll try.

Granted, but you only have one arm and one leg.

I wish my boyfriend's mom would tell him who is bio dad is.

Oh I wish that could happen......I don't want to ruin this wish so here: Granted, and his bio dad comes into his life, and they build a long lasting relationship.

I wish I could have a new body.....lol

Granted!

But, now your partner will never trust you around any other person because of how good you look.

I wish this pandemic would end.

granted - but it is replaced by one twice as bad

I wish my pets had unlimited food

Granted, but they get sick with each bite. I wish a certain person would come back to Subeta.

Aww I don't want to ruin this one! But ...they do come back, they just don't speak to you or respond to you :(

I wish I did not ever have to experience situational anxiety again.

Granted but you can never experience any situations that could cause you anxiety ever again (even if they were necessary ex: get nervous to shop in public, can't shop in public anymore). Or maybe the flip side and you become emotionless.

I wish I could draw better.

Granted, but you're now blind. It's okay, you can't see this, so you never knew that you can draw really well now. Alright, sweet.

I wish I had a parrot with a real pirate on it's shoulder, in a cage with a blanket over it, in my basement, in the dark.

Granted, but it's completely invisible.

I wish that I had an unlimited supply of ice cream.

Granted. I have put it in your pantry. None of it is cooled though and your floors are covered in sticky melted ice cream.

I wish to sleep and wake whenever I want.

Granted but now you are at the mercy your circadian rhythm.

I wish to live by a beautiful lake and enjoy spectacular sunrises/sunsets.

Hahahaha! That was a great way of ruining that sleep wish!

Granted. You live on Io, a moon of Jupiter near the lake Loki Patera filled with lava. The view is spectacular though... don't know if I ruined the wish or made it out of this world :p

I wish I had 1 billion USD

Granted but USA has changed their currency to Euros, making USD worthless.

I wish that I could talk to animals.

Granted. You can speak to animals in English.

I wish I had a cool superpower