My signature sums it up.

Nope, I read your entire post. The rest of the post didn't change the fact that you said, "So, the whole "you'll understand when you become a mother" thing is sort of true."

Mothers always like to claim that kind of thing and it's annoying as all heck, just like how they're annoying when they feel the need to comment in places like this, where people are talking about being childless and their experiences with people not taking them seriously and saying exactly what you said to them.

Grow the fuck up man. You need serious mental help.

It's pretty obnoxious when people think they know how to live your life better than you do. My in-laws (mom and sisters) ask if I'm pregnant yet every time I see them. Swallow the anger. There are way higher priorities on my list right now, thank you.

I don't want kids. Don't mind them, just don't want any. When people ask me why I usually reply with a "I don't need to explain myself." Because no matter what the reason, even if it's a simple "I just don't want any," they'll never accept it.

"You'll change your mind some day" is something I hear a lot. I find it funny because it implies that even if you've made up your mind one day you'll wake up and be like "Wowzers I have to have a baby RIGHT NOW." At a certain point in your life you'll know whether you want kids or not. I knew I didn't want kids when I was a kid, and I still don't want them now. Most people I know who have kids never really planned to have them anyway. Life is funny like that.

I can't stand drool filled babies and screaming toddlers. I also have -1526 maternity instinct and too many health problems, so giving birth to a baby is an absolute no for me. But, I am open to adopting an older child in the far future. I was actually supposed to have my tubes tied, but my tubes were too small for the procedure. -_- At least I have an IUD.

I decided if anyone starts saying how I'll change my mind, I'll list all of mine and my fiance's health problems. They'll back off right away. XD

I don't want kids, I haven't since I was very, very young. I keep getting told that I'll want them eventually or I'll change my mind when the magic man comes into my life.

Yes, I'm just going to change +20 years of thinking. Absolutely. I had no idea that my thinking was so dependent on others.

I do have plans of (hopefully) making a foster home for LGBT+ kids/teens who have been thrown out because of being LGBT+ so they have a safe place to call home.

This is so comforting to read. It's something I find I can't really talk to anyone about IRL because no one else is on the same page. I will be 30 this year, and my biological clock doesn't feel like it's ticking. I have zero desire to have children. I have been told I am 'selfish' for wanting to travel and buy things for myself over having a kid. I also am constantly told "But what about your legacy, who will care for you when you get old, you will be so lonely everyone will be off with their families and you will be left behind". That is a huge fear for me, dying alone, but that just means I should put effort into my friendships and family relations so that doesn't happen. To me, THAT is a selfish reason to have kids. The world is a really effed up place, politically and environmentally, and it scares me to bring a kid into that. People tell me too, "you'll never have the money so you might as well" but honestly I'd rather that pair of shoes over diapers, and I'd rather that trip then saving for a kids tuition! You are definitely not alone- I think it's one of those things society brainwashes us into from the time we are small, as women, we must bear children, and then we end up feeling guilty for not wanting that. Which is so silly! I think a lot of people ask when I'm having kids so they can have someone to join in their hell (no offense to anyone with kids) but they do seem to get jealous watching me on vacation or buying new things and having no agenda/responsibilities. Sometimes I tell people I can't carry a child if they ask, it's harsh, but it shuts them up because it really is no one else's business.

I too want to go to Japan for a few weeks, that is a LOT of money haha! And I want to do it while I'm young and able, not when I'm 60 and the kids are gone and I can finally afford it :P

I was in the same boat! My brother is 7 years younger than me and we were raised by a single dad. Maybe that factors into our decisions as we've already been a parent before, much too young, and not by choice. It's truly amazing what humans are capable of doing in less-than-ideal circumstances. I hope you and your sibling are close now because of that. I'm really not quite sure how much my brother knows I did for him, since he was so small! :p

Please be respectful of others comments. was just telling us of what happened to her. She was not personally telling us that we would all understand when we decided to have children. It is just her experience. There is too much fighting going on in the media and I will not tolerate this.

"But what about your legacy, who will care for you when you get old, you will be so lonely everyone will be off with their families and you will be left behind" This, this was what bugged me the most. And the answer that I came up with is for me. Others will need to sit down and really think about this because this is not a choice that anyone can make for you. I sat down and I thought about death and what mine would bring about, how it might end, what it might be like when the time comes. dark I know, but this is what I did And I thought about possible outcomes, what other people would do and then I stopped. What would I care once I've passed on? I cannot effect others after I have left my body. I am alive right now and want to experience all that we have been given to explore. The world was created with different views, religions, people, cultures, food, mountains, wonders, beauty and people say that I have to stay in one place for the rest of my life? No. I am sorry, but no.

You do not need to have children or children of your own to make a legacy. The legacy is what you leave behind. For some people, this means children, but others it might mean a body of work, or the connections you have made between the people over the years. You could look at traveling like it is a selfish frivolity, but unless you are ignoring a crisis while you are golfing in Florida, I think you will be okay. I am starting to look at how I could make traveling a part of my career.

I'm thinking about really committing to learning Spanish and Japanese.

Hmm, I got lost in the paragraph. I hope you understand?

What does the media have to do with this and who exactly are you to tell us that you won't "tolerate" this? Lol.

And nah, I've listened to enough mothers who tell me that I'll "understand when I'm a mother" and who feel the need to come into threads about being childless by choice and talk about how they're a mother and how they used to think like us but they changed their mind once they became a mother. I'm sure pretty much everyone here has heard that enough.

a thousand times yes, I giggled out loud when you said "dark, I know" I have these moments on a weekly basis where I analyze everything too but it certainly helps my conscious and my anxiety! I took french for about 12 years and never became bilingual, I actually think Japanese is easier- I really enjoy it! I found this amazing online program it's free and it's a classroom setting that teaches you how to write, read and speak Japanese. They also do skits in real-life situations so you can see how the dialogue is used. Having so many examples over and over drilled into your head has made it so easy to learn. When I am on my personal computer next I will send it to you if you want to try it out :)

I am the one who started this little conversation and I meant it as a peaceful topic for discussion. No pointing fingers, no accusing. No one here is attacking you and I am sorry if you got that impression.

Yes please do! That sounds perfect. Just what I need. I have four years in Spanish, but I am not fluent in any aspect of that. Looking to change that :3

Ever since I was old enough to understand where babies come from, I decided I didn't want to have any. At first, my family was all "You'll grow out of this", "You'll want one when you're older", and other various things like that. I'm turning 31 this year, and I still don't want one. Thankfully my family has become fully accepting of this now. They know that the only grandkids they'll get are my pets lol

Side note, my boyfriend doesn't want kids either. So fuck yeah I win

Will they ever realize all we've done xD? I saw domestic violence in my home I was 7. I tried to prevent my newborn brother to see such things. It was a terrible time for me as well but it came to me on a whim. I cannot deny the fact that I deeply care for children but I just don't want my own c:

Ah! The whole legacy thing. I've thought about it too: especially the old days. Honestly, you do not need children to create a legacy. A legacy is deeply suggestive and people have created a lot of undertone around it. I could have had children and they wouldn't give a shit about me nor what I've passed on. Passing on a legacy is not making your children bend backward to be YOU or LIKE YOU. You can create legacy by achieving things in your environment, around friends, with people ... To me, children does not equal legacy. As for my old days ... Man, I don't know. With how my society is oriented, elderly are shoved away even if they have children. It makes me sad but it's not directly linked. I mean, having children does not guarantee that someone will take care of you later on ;)

I really want to learn Japanese and Spanish too. Especially the first one. I can also teach French if needed ha ha.

I feel the same way. And wow that was eye opening... you know I never even thought my kids could end up resenting me or not giving a shit about me too, so there goes your "legacy". I don't speak to my mother and she had 2 children and will most likely die alone, sad to say but true. I don't know why I never applied that to my own life! I will send you my Japan link as well. I can't believe you can teach French, I found is so difficult growing up and now its so hard to get a job without it (I live in Canada). It was conjugating those damn verbs- so confusing lol!

I had to sit down and think about the whole legacy topic before writing. I mean, it's kinda scary but it's an honest truth. It's not like it isn't happening today either (because it is). Thank you for the japanese link! I'm laughing at the very commericla set up but the pronounciation is really helping me out (not that my accent will vanish either way ...) I'd say you're okay with an accent as long as you're trying ha ha. I'm a native french speaker (also from Canada!) but I did learn english at a fairly young age. When I started Subeta, I was unable to write proper english. I'm still cringing about it. If you ever need help, hit me up c:

LOL some of it is soooo cheesy but definitely works!! I so wish I listened to my dad and went to immersion French when I was young, there was really no other way to learn. You'd never know English is not your first language you type so well! I might come back to you with that offer one day haha, it's my goal to take a French course this year to get back into the swing of things! :D

Four years, and no fluency? I live along the US/Mexico border, where that kind of bilingualism is common. But that also says a lot. I speak better than some people twice my age, as well as most younger people. All my sibling are, but few of past generations are, or as much. I'm shooting for Russian, which I find to be similar to English and Spanish. Though for now my studies are informal and inconsistent. But its been something I've wanted to learn for as long as I have memory.

hmm, I think I should have explained that better xD 4 years of collective knowledge. two years taken in high school, two years taken in college. I have not been in a situation to apply it to real life, so sadly, it is worse than rusty.

OK, I learned both concurrently. Plus I've been speaking for 30-some years. Practice, enough. It'll be the same with the Russian, I hardly think I'll be in situation to foster a rapid absorption. Some things only work in a particular language.

"Toque aqui" is a good joke that only works in Spanish. Its a pun, the gag is the button gives you a shock.