Paper

Dogs or Cats?

Cats

Lizards or Birds?

Birds, no feathered MMS-01 around.

Guilty by design, or artificially innocent?

Guilty by design

Right or Wrong?

Right

Movie theater or Netflix?

Netflix

PvE or PvP gaming?

PvE, I think Tetris 99 is that.

Diamonds, or unbreakable loyalty?

Loyalty will get you diamonds, eventually.

Eurocentric view of world history, or deep existential dread?

Deep existential dread is where its been at all quarantine.

A natural talent for drawing or for singing?

Singing

Traveling or Staying home?

Staying home. That is what Google Earth is for.

Unerring fashion sense, or getting invited to all the right parties?

Any fashion sense would be better than the utilitarian garb I dress as.

Celebrity death match, or Clay Fighters?

Clay FIghters actually has no idea what either of them are, chooses longest string of consonants

Valentine's card or Birthday card?

Birthday card, they'd come less often. Burn them either way.

Face off against the Red Menace, or the Blue Meanies?

Blue Meanies

Dogs or Cats?

Cats.

A 36" breaker bar with 6 point socket, or an impact driver?

I don't have an S.O. and getting one is not a high priority, so diamonds. Could sell for some decent cash.

Living in a nice apartment in a big city, or in a cabin out in the wilderness.

Cabin in the wilderness. Thirty years alone should do it.

Suchomimis tenerensis or Sarcosuchus imperator?

Suchomimis tenerensis

Forest or ocean?

There are forests in the ocean, not the other way around. Briney deep for me.

Future Trunks, or Future Logan?