Eh, we'll you're not wrong to guess that I might be mentally/emotionally not feeling great. I was referring to physically feeling awful due to low physical heath, but they're both caused by the fact that I've been more or less confined to my room for the past three years. I'm miserable in more ways than one. If all goes well though, that should be changing relatively soon.

Haha. I definitely would too, but I don't mind too much. Heck, I think it was last year? We went trick-or-treating in the rain. That was something. Actually, no. I know a lot of people who enjoy scary movies like them because they can get a good laugh out of them, and as much as I hate that I can't really say that I blame them too much. Most "scary" movies are... well, not good. They tend to be really campy rather than legitimately scary. I tend to prefer horror games, which are usually much better about that sort of thing if only because they actually involve you in them.

I'm in the same boat as you, in that I'm also not feeling too happy... I've been confined to my room as well, for about 2 years I think. And to add on to that, my mother is being kind of crazy...she's a bit explosive. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and I've learned she won't ever listen to my side of the story. Also, she has a habit of "putting words into my mouth", because when she goes off on a tangent, I usually don't talk, and just take it in, because I don't want to make the situation worse. Then she starts to say "what I'm thinking". Which is basically her INTERPRETING what I'm thinking...I don't correct her because she will just get more angry... Like she thinks that "I don't know" isn't an answer. To me, it still is, because sometimes we really don't know. And so I answered, "I don't know" is an answer that you won't accept. And at this point, she really exploded. She was saying "Oh, so it's just an answer that I won't accept!?! So other people will accept this answer!?!" Among many of the other things she has said... And the worst part is, when I asked her what it is that she was upset about, she asked me "well what do you think I'm upset about???" And I didn't say anything. And the reason I ask is because she always gets mad at MULTIPLE things at ONCE. I HATE that... Point being, she won't tell me what's wrong, and so how am I supposed to learn what I've done wrong? It's ridiculous. She's unhappy herself...in a crappy mood, and she's taking it out on me. -sigh- like I said before, I can't wait to be out of this HELL HOLE she's got me in. I plan to live on my own. I really can't deal with her. Granted, she doesn't explode EVERY day, but it's just bringing my mood down.

I'm so sorry for this suuuper long rant. Ahh, I see! I'm too scared to watch scary movies, haha Jumpscares really get to me! So I can totally understand what you're saying about those horror games.

Yuuuup. Same with my mother as well. In her case though she wound up tipping over into psychosis recently due to messing with her medications, so this is just a continuation of that. Usually when she does this she's insufferable, doing the same thing as your mother with putting words in other people mouths, and plenty more. She's already yelled at my brother and I for stupid things a couple of times, but even in that scenario she's managed to be far more reasonable and aware of what's going on than she normally would be. She's trying to fix it, but even according to her she's still a manic.

I've gotten to a point where I can pretty much handle when she gets like that. No, it doesn't make for a nice place to be in the slightest, but I've at least learned how to keep my head on my shoulders and not just take everything to heart. I never have been particularly passive when she gets like that though. I might have been if I hadn't have had a little brother, but I kicked things up when she started picking on him and the majority of our relationship wound up being screaming fights. I'm still not all that passive about it, but for the most part I'm able to keep my voice down and speak rationally.

"I don't know," is absolutely an answer. Heck, I've even seen that brought into play when an atheist was reading a book made by a theist, and the theist was going nuts about his conversation with an agnostic. The atheist wound up arguing the agnostic's point for the video. It was really interesting, and he made clear just how valid and definitive an answer like "I don't know," can really be. I realize that's in a different context altogether, but I believe the point stands.

That sort of behaviour really drives me up a wall too. Thankfully that is one thing my mother does not do, although taking her crap out on everyone else is absolutely something she does when she gets like this. Best of luck to both of us getting out soon, eh? And here's to hoping neither one of us have to come back.

Don't worry haha, I feel your pain~ Jumpscares can really get me too. ouo I've actually had Dead Space 1 for years now, it's definitely one of my favorite games... but I've never actually beaten it lol. I've always had this thing about getting too nervous/excited to be able to use the controller haha, so even when I want to continue my fingers won't let me. And I actually do get nightmares from this stuff, I know for a fact I've had multiple that were heavily inspired by Dead Space. They're so bizarre and oddly poetic though that even if they kinda scared me while I was having the dream I just wind up loving them once I'm out.

Like I recently had a dream where I was basically an astronaut stranded in space. I was on this platform though, with plenty of air to breathe, I did have communication with home and a flyable "ship" (space-capable helicopter) that I simply didn't know how to fly. The dream took a turn though - there was this gun on the platform that fired entire man-made galaxies. I'd tried to pick it up at one point and accidentally fired it, manifesting a galaxy rather close to me. Before I could escape interference from the galaxy caused all of my machines to stop working and the entire platform I was on started getting sucked into that galaxy. Out of fear for the hopelessness of the situation and the numerous ways I could die like that, I just decided to walk out of the air bubble and kill myself. The dream was terrifying, as it played off of a very real fear of mine with the whole hopelessness and suicide bit. Gorgeous, but terrifying. I liked it so much that I started work on a drawing of it.

I commend you on being able to handle explosive behaviour. I really can't. I can get a little depressed every time she unleashes one of her episodes...

You know what's really funny? I'll apologize to her right after she gets mad, but she will just tell me that she doesn't want to hear it, and ask me what good a "sorry" does to any situation. But after she's done yelling and all that, she'll expect me to apologize...

Yeah, I'm hoping that we can both get away from this aversive environment!

That would actually make for a really nice story!

omgsh it's raining and I'm inside. So relaxing :D I love the sound of rain, but hate being outside in it, haha

Well, it's... not without training of sorts, I guess you could say. I've taught myself a lot about self-confidence, self-assurance, and those sort of things. I've learned to listen to myself, and not my mother.

Jeez. I mean I can kind of understand the deal with not wanting to hear an apology, because I kinda of feel similarly, but to turn around and expect one after that is ridiculous. I'm sorry you have to put up with that. :/ Unfortunately it's really not uncommon.

Well, I actually did start a sketch thing of it with a more thorough description of the dream, if you'd be interested in it. It's on a Sketchbook thread I've been keeping up with on CGCookie: http://community.cgcookie.com/t/sketchbook-fairestmoss/2901/99 The drawing I will be finishing, but I don't think I'm going to turn that into a story. I do already have a number of stories in the works, and I have had so many incredibly interesting dreams... if I tried to make a story out of all of them I'd never get anywhere hahaha. Although most of my more interesting dreams I like to... mm, almost keep in like a special dream bank, I guess. I do my best to remember the best ones, usually for inspiration. Most of them are so bizarre though that I just don't know what to do with them. There was one dream where I had a friend who's mind got corrupted and I had to literally travel into his mind and work with a guardian owl to fix it... Another where I was floating on an inflatable raft, unknowingly above a giant underwater fetus which grabbed my arm with its weird dog paw tentacle thing and yelled repeatedly "STAY WITH ME!", that was pretty freaky..... That was one of the ones that was Dead Space themed, because the style of the giant fetus monster was very much themed after necromorphs. There was another one I'd had where I was in like this indoor amusement park kind of thing, but for some reason when you were inside of that building you were immortal so they designed the whole place by throwing every bit of safety and caution to the wind.... I died multiple times in that dream by falling from high places, and since the revival process wasn't completely instant there was always that moment where I was alive but I had to experience the agony of my organs being mush against the indoor concrete... I have a lot of really bizarre dreams, I can go in describing them for hours. I love it so much~

Actually, while we're on the subject, what sort of things do you dream about? o:

Oh man, me too.... One of my favorite types of days is when it's lightly raining but the it's still warm and grand sunbeams are still making their way through the patchy clouds. As long as the wind is going the right direction I love keeping my window open to listen to it~ 😌 Actually I could go for that right now haha. I had to sit through my parents arguing earlier today, I'd almost say that's worse than my directly arguing with one of them.

Hi guys! How are you all?

Could be. I don't really know what happened to it actually. xD For the meantime, I'm emulating games in my cellphone. It's rather addicting.

It's not raining right now ^^ Hopefully that will last. I missed the sun. hahaha Oooh. We don't really celebrate Halloween nor do we have a fall season since I live in a tropical country. From what I've seen though, it seems like a festive and fun time! I'm pretty much just watching movies, and finishing a report that I need to pass to my former professor.

Oh, haha what games? Also, what movies are you watching? :D

and how are you?

I see, I see. For me, I think I'll be okay once I start providing for myself. And yes, it really is agonising...

I can't access what you posted from the link D: Those are some very interesting dreams! I can never seem to remember mine. I would have to say that the amusement park one is by far the best, haha

It's actually a little colder now, 'cause it's nighttime, but it's still pleasant ^^ Oh man, I know. Hearing someone argue is so much worse because you're more calm, and hearing the argument is just unsettling. My parents have argued before too. My mother went off like dynamite. She started throwing things around and screaming...truly terrifying to have to sit through it.

Ahhh, Yeah, sometimes I seem to wind up forgetting those things heh; It really is, though. ^^ Halloween is one of the bigger holidays here, most people love it for the candy but I love it for the costumes and the general spirit of things. Outside of conventions it's pretty much the only time of the year it's acceptable to wear crazy things out in public haha. As for the Fall/Autumn season, if you've ever thought about maybe going somewhere to experience it for yourself, I would absolutely recommend it. Fall is not my favorite season and I personally don't get along too well with cold weather, but if there has been enough rain to let the leaves change color then it's worth it.

Nice~

Mm. We can hope. It does often seem to do a lot of people a lot of good.

Wait, really? -checks- Oh... Weird. For some reason it's added
into the URL. Remove that from the end and it works.

I don't always remember mine either haha. There are tricks and such you can do to help that, like a big one is when you do remember one immediately upon waking up you write it down before you even have the chance to get up out of bed. It works like training yourself to remember your dreams. They say to write down all of your dreams, but I've done that before and really.... white I was remembering more of my dreams, my dreams were getting a lot less interesting because I was too put effort into remembering the good ones though... I go over them a few times in my head, write them down, tell other people about them, sometimes make art of them.... it all helps quite a bit, but since I'm not overdoing it I'm still getting interesting dreams.

Oh man.... That sounds maybe a little too much like my mother.

I didn't realize that!

Ohh, I've heard about that before! But I like to sleep, and most dreams are short, I think. On most days, I'm trying to hurry out the door. So even if I really wanted to write them down, I don't have the time. D: And I'm not sure if I'm forgetting my dreams, or I just don't dream often, but I think it's the latter.

Oh my D: That's terrible. My mom has only that less than a handful of times, so it's not too bad on my end. Does your mother do that often?

There's always the option of creating a voice recording, too? As for dreams being super short, well.... mmm, thaaaat's..... Eh. Dreams are weird things. They say that people generally have multiple dreams a night and simply don't remember them. As for the length of those dreams.... There have been times where I've legitimately woken up, gone back to sleep, had a dream that made me feel like I'd been asleep for hours, and upon checking the clock realized not even ten minutes had passed. Then there are other dreams that feel like they lasted for five minutes, and hours had actually gone by. And heck, there have been other times, I swear when normally I would have been having two separate dreams, my mind actually just decides to continue the first one and it seems to last all night. I'm sure in that regard it's going to be different for different people, but in my experience time is really quite irrelevant for dreams,and which dreams are long and which are short seems completely random.

It is quite a bit harder to remember the longer dreams, though. Usually the majority of the memory of the dream will be gone in a matter of seconds upon waking up, so even if you have had a long dream you will remember so little of it it might simply seem short. That's one of the things that kinda got better with practice for me, but even then I can only remember so much for so long. It just gives me a little extra time to try and cement more of the memory.

No, thankfully, that doesn't happen all that often. Not these days anyway; my memory of the past is pretty hazy so it's hard to say for that one, but it's likely that it used to be a lot more frequent back then just considering how often she and I would get into screaming matches. These days though, not at all. She started to go down that road recently but she seems to be turning it around. As for the arguments between my parents, honestly I have to listen to the two of them talk trash about one another behind each others' backs, which they do pretty much every day, more often than I actually have to listen to them verbally fight.

I also believe that dreams are somewhat random, so I don't really feel the need to look into to it, haha That's just me though. Some people's dream can reflect what's on their mind. It's also a little stressful for me to try and remember a dream, so I would rather not do that.

Oh, I see. Well hopefully the situation gets better!

So, did you watch any good movies lately? Or shows?

Well when I said random, I mean random in length, not so much in meaning haha. My dreams are extremely reflective most of the time. They don't always reflect what's actually been on my mind, but they usually reflect me or something I am or will be dealing with. My dreams are usually in reference to emotions, what's going on inside rather than what's actually going on in the world around me.

Stressful? o: How so?

Haha, well, a friend did have be get caught up on the main plot episodes of Steven Universe. That show continues to get better~ I was thinking I might try to get caught up on The Flash, too. I haven't seen the latest season yet. Apart from that, I've mostly been watching Off Topic from Achievement Hunter. c: What about you?

I knew that, I was just saying that I don't think there's a definitive meaning behind dreams. That's why I don't feel a need to look into them too much. I usually can't remember my dreams, and it stresses me out to try and remember them, especially because I think that there's no need for me to remember my dreams, haha

Oh I like The Flash! :D It's good. Just watching The Mentalist right now.

Ahh, okay. ^^ Hah, sorry I misunderstood. I guess it kinda depends on what you mean by definitive meaning haha. On an individual level I think that dreams can have fairly definitive meanings, but that's entirely up to the individual both in the sense of what that meaning is and whether it has any meaning in the first place. If definitive is referring more to the sense that "this symbol means this for everyone and that's it", then I'm a lot more inclined to agree with you. I've certainly danced with dream interpretation sites myself, but I've viewed them more as entertainment than as true answers, even if sometimes there are little gems in there that ring true haha.

Well, to each their own~

It's not bad. I wound up watching Arrow after I was initially caught up with The Flash - I was not expecting Arrow to have so much more relationship drama than The Flash. I completely thought it would be the other way around. Arrow was almost too much for me haha.

Sorry about the late reply. We experienced a rather long power outage. :/

I'm pretty well considering all this rain that is somehow still pouring from the sky.

I just rewatched the Matrix and it was rather sad that I had just appreciated its greatness now. hahaha. The last time I watched it, I was a wee kid or a pre-teen and I never had the time to watch it again till now. Actually it was my dad rewatching it and I just happened to be there. hahaha.

I don't get along with the cold as well. Though I could probably stand Fall. Snow on the other hand.... well that's another thing hahaha.

Oh I would probably enjoy Halloween. I've always wanted to dress up in costumes and props which is why I plan on cosplaying in the future.

Oh trust me, I'm well known for being able to stand ridiculous heat but not any amount of cold. ^^;

Well, good luck on cosplaying in the future~ It's been a fairly longtime desire of mine to cosplay too haha.

So, how are you? ^^

Hello all my luffs! I hope you're all well and have had a good summer?

I'm back in the south of France after my trip in Brasil which was fab! I don't start uni till the 26th, so I'll be around on here!

I do have to do some revising, and I have a presentation to present in a thing for my mother.

huggles you all

I've been meaning to watch Arrow as well! But there are going to be so many of my favourite shows with renewed seasons coming up, so I've got a lot to watch, haha

How's your day been? :D

We had a ton of rain a few days ago. It was actually really relaxing listening to the sound of rain! Of course, if I have to be outside in the rain I would be in a grumpy mood.

Oh, I actually haven't watched the Matrix XD Yeah, you miss a lot of inside jokes or the whole meaning in the movie when you're a child. A few months ago I rewatched The Incredibles, and it was good! Caught some of the jokes that I had missed when I was younger, haha.

How's the assignment going (the one you need to hand in to your professor)?

The life of someone who actually watches TV shows~ I actually do not. I don't have cable (and don't want it), and I don't really take the time to watch television shows online or anything either save for one or two. I've only been watching more lately because my friends have been somewhat insisting that I get more cultural exposure.

Hah, well, I literally got shit on by a butterfly today. Twice, in fact. And then the thing turned around and started eating it.... Talk about ruining the moment lol. Yuck. My mother found it in our empty pool, its wing looks pretty broken. It probably won't be able to fly again, so even after that unappealing bit I've decided to take it in and care for it. It's a stunning butterfly too, so I also wanted a chance to draw it. That's pretty much the highlight of my day.

What about you?

Well same goes for me haha.

I'm pretty okay. I'm still hanging around at home. My sister will come back home for a vacation next week so that's exciting. We may (as I've heard my parents talking) go out-of-town for a trip which hasn't happened since forever xD

Pac!!! You're here!! hugs back How are you?

Summer's terrible if you can even call it summer. It's been raining non-stop for months in here. I'm done with uni now haha. I've finally graduated. Good luck to you!

The Matrix is rather amazing. It was mind-boggling though hahaha. Oh The Incredibles! I missed that movie! I think we have a dvd of that somewhere. Might watch it again now that you mentioned it.

Oh that one. I still need to tweak a few more stuff. I'm becoming rather lazy about it actually although my goal is to finish it today. hahaha