Also thankful for this thread. I've been diagnosed with bad social anxiety/social phobia myself. When I talk to strangers, sometimes I forget how to talk or speak English (to clarify, I don't really know any other languages) so I end up sounding like a babbling moron, and am just super awkward over all, beyond the "norm" for shy people. I beat myself up for months/years after a bad experience with a person. I'm 23 going on 24, and I still kick myself over some bad/awkward encounters I had in high school sometimes. I struggle badly with any kind of social experience, and it's an act of god that I have a boyfriend who I feel comfortable around (though it took me a few years to be totally comfortable around him).

I get panic attacks sometimes in places like shopping malls or other stores, especially when said place is crowded. I remember the first time I went to meet my boyfriend's friends to go to an event for something, and I was so worked up/panicked that I came very near to being physically ill several times, but the act of actually vomiting in front of all of his friends was embarrassing enough to keep me from doing it somehow.

I hate it so much, but I feel helpless in making it stop. I've been to doctors and have been on medication in the past that helped me somewhat, but I was so tranquilized that I became a zombie; I never wanted to go anywhere or do anything at all, and all I ever wanted to do was sleep, day in and day out. I actually slept through almost two whole days once on the medication, so that had to stop. Now, I've kind of given up on seeing doctors and taking medication because I feel like anything they can give me, the side effects are going to be just as bad if not worse than the actual problem itself.

As of now, I've been afflicted with depression as well. Like I said, I'm 23, I feel like I should be out there enjoying my life while I'm still able to, but my anxiety has even kept me from being able to take my drivers exam/driving at all because I get panic attacks behind the wheel, so I'm pretty much stuck at my home all day long. I also feel like I can't go anywhere anyways without being with something I know and trust, so that if I get an attack while out and about, they'll know what to do to snap me out of it. I don't feel safe going anywhere on my own, really.

Since I moved cross country with my mom about 5 years ago, aside from my boyfriend, I've yet to make any friends. I don't know how to talk to people, and most people don't want to spend the time trying to deal with my panic attacks/awkwardness. The only people who I do consider my friends are honestly more of my parents friends than my own, are no-where near my age, and I don't have much in common at all with them. It really sucks feeling like I have to live my life through other people, but I don't know what else to do... :c

Blah, anyways, sorry for the novel/sob story... I'm glad to see a support group for people like me...

Thank you for your sweet reply. Unfortunately no, my husband doesn't know exactly how bad my physical and mental health has been affected. He's witnessed, besides the first major attack, only a handful of small attacks, and he gets upset at those, I don't know if from guilt or just thinking it's all in my head. As much as I hate to, I hide it all very well. I don't think letting him see the extent of my suffering will help us, so I just try to deal with it alone. I'm very sorry about your sufferings, as well. Sending good vibes and prayers that your situation gets better.

Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear about your possible fibromyalgia. I don't have it personally, but I've watched my mother suffer with it since I was about 5, so I know it's horrible. Thoughts and prayers for you, as well, and everyone else here.

hugs

-wanders in- Hey, my name is Evelyn. I have been struggling with anxiety since I was eight years old. I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder), and minor OCD compulsions.. I have difficulties even leaving the house in the morning. I have two comfort animals (two cats) and over 500 stuffed animals that I have collected to help with my anxiety. I have found recently that it hasn't been helping as much as I'd like it to. Anyone have any other suggestions?