I'm sure you have a talent, it's just not obvious to you.

I'm good at telling stories but not writing them down, I can talk until the cows come home but I can never write things in a way that makes sense :(

My bf said the same thing..that I should just start writing again..even if it's not any good (to me) just do it and maybe I'll feel better. Well maybe two of you can't be wrong. lol :D And I'm sure you have a talent! Like BeautifulChaos said, it's just not obvious to ya. ;)

Telling stories is a talent in and of itself, trust! Not just anyone can tell a good story! ;D

It's not just stories I struggled writing down, I struggled with essays and exams. I have no idea how I managed to go to university and pass haha!

Yeah, I guess. I apologize. I'm just the kind of person that knocks down myself and constantly uplifts others. I think it's some kind of self-esteem issue that I haven't gotten over yet. I've never thought of myself as good enough to be able to do things that others can. I often compare myself to others and then feel terrible, like an inferiority complex. I recognize my problem, but I just can't stop it. It's terrible. :/ Again, sorry. I understand I can probably do something, but I don't have any motivation in my life to know what it is.

I completely understand that feeling. I very rarely feel good about myself, whenever I see my reflection I stare at my many faults and fail to see any beauty even if someone happens to point it out to me :(

Yeah, I wished people stayed at home when I go out. My family already knows how I feel about people, so we always pick out the least crowded restaurant parking lot when they want to eat out (I could live on sandwiches if it meant never going out again), but then we have this luck that, no matter where we go, people start arriving in droves. It's pretty scary!

I'm glad your family are supportive. It can be difficult when you feel like they don't understand.

It's a case of "they do and they don't" but they've come around to trying to understand in these recent years. I guess because I feel safer with family and friends around, it stands to reason that family and friends have never seen my anxiety at its worst. They used that as their excuse to push more than they should have and they see glimpses as to how bad it could get, so that's where the "trying to understand" part kicks in. It's a work in progress :/

im bipolar, have clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, ptsd, and iih/ptc (a brain disease)

i know exactly how that feels. esp with my mom now that i live with her again. and it extends to physical tests of me too, as i had brain surgery in february and shes like 'you seem fine'. a couple times she has pushed me to do things until i got hurt and had to go to the hospital. she tries to not push me but then after a few days gets frustrated and wants a normal person as her daughter. and i just cant be that for her.

about the cashier situations - oy vey. i was a cashier for years and years at various retail and food places. but as you and dusti said, its not just that specific situation that can be frustrating and sometimes overwhelming. its really good to know im not alone in feeling positively exhausted in my efforts to portray a 'normal' person in public. i am so grateful that i managed to get an at-home job. so i only have to focus on my voice sounding perky and easily approachable. in person, i get sweaty, twitchy, panicked, etc. and i quit the job within months. if ya havent already- maybe working at home is something to look into? there are several legitimate employers that hire at-home workers. my coworkers have a running list of legitimate companies that hire for at-home work should you want it.

dusti, you know this already, but i feel you completely on the topamax. i have been there, with that exact med. now of course its due to other meds and the brain disease, but yeah. its so fucking frustrating. that and not being able to remember common words like 'street' etc. its a big reason why im considering just going on disability for a bit. i need to know that i can be stable and away from pain and the anxiety not just from the brain shit now, but from the social stuff you guys are describing, too.

im so sorry if none of this made sense. and also for rambling on and on. my brain and meds make it hard for me to connect my thoughts. tis why im usually quiet lol.

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry your mum pushes you too hard. That sucks :( I live in the UK and working from home isn't that readily available I don't think but it would definitely be something I would rather do.

Me? I'm suffering from social anxiety, mild depression, and Asperger's Syndrome. My brain is a cocktail of messiness. Music? A band called Celtic Thunder really soothes me. My best friend, an Internet buddy, knows this and will redirect me to their songs if my brain starts acting up. I do take medication for it. It works sometimes, but when faced with a huge source of stress, I'll still have a breakdown.

oh gosh, i'm so glad this is a thing <o>;;

ive been recently diagnosed with generalized anxiety, dysthymia, and moderate social anxiety. ive always felt terrible in social situations and i've got a really low self esteem (which doesn't help either.) i feel paranoid when i'm around strangers, or even schoolmates, and it makes it hard to function sometimes! i distract myself with books, the internet, and video games.... but it doesn't always help.

I understand the feeling, too. hugs It is a struggle, but look we have this shiney new thread and each other now!~ ^_^

Part of my issue with at home work is I'm also a stay at home mom with a 3 year old. Dealing with clients and my son could be..interesting. ><

HUGS I know hunnie. I do hope you strongly are considering the disability or even ssi for a bit. I'm glad you came to thread. ilu, sweetie. :)

Despite everything, we're rather fortunate to have friends who understand and are willing to help. Sometimes I think back to them when I'm nervous and it gives me that little push forward I needed. I don't want their efforts to be in vain :)

Same thing happens to me. We gotta get better at positive thinking xD

A counselor once told me to pick a small item; maybe a ring or a pretty stone I could carry around with me at all times - and to label it my comfort item. She told me to reach for it and just play around with it in my hand(s) whenever I felt nervous. I ended up picking a soda top, haha - and it worked :o

I guess it distracted me enough to diffuse some of the built up anxiety? Anyways, I've been getting better at one-on-ones, so hopefully things get easier.

What's dysthymia if you don't mind me asking?

That small item thing sounds like a great idea. I might have to find something to keep in my pocket at work to help try de-stress me when things start to get too much. I would like to use something that has meaning to me, but then I'd be too scared of losing it :(

it's like, a lower grade form of depression that's very long term. wikipedia says it's "a mood disorder consisting of the same cognitive and physical problems as in depression, with less severe but longer-lasting symptoms." with adults you have to exhibit symptoms for at least 2 years, and with teenagers and children a year. i've basically been chronically depressed since 7th grade, but since the symptoms were never as severe as clinical depression, i always thought i was just sad.

Oh no! That must have felt so lonely for you when you couldn't understand what was going on. How long have you been suffering? I understand trying to distract yourself with things, sometimes it helps me too. I find when I'm feeling at my worse nothing works at distracting me though, because I can't concentrate :(

- it was :( i've had periods of my life that were pretty awful before i got help! i've had this for, gosh, five years? at least - anyway.

that happens to me too!!! ive had panic attacks triggered by sheer frustration from not being able to concentrate on anything D:

It sounds like you've had some bad luck. Are things improving, staying the same or worsening for you as you get older and come to understand your condition more? I've found the more I understand my condition the more I can try to avoid stressers and seek help when I need it.

I'm really happy people are willing to open up here.

I used to have crippling social anxiety. Talking on the phone would make me freeze and want to cry. I couldn't stand less than 15 feet from a person. It got to the point where I couldn't step foot outside in fear of getting a panic attack. No one understood... they all just looked at me like I was a freak.

I went to therapy last year, and after seeing my anxiety get worse, was prescribed medication. Since then, the anxiety has almost completely gone away. I've been able to get close to people and function in society again. I still have a bit of phone anxiety and don't like being close to strangers. I get a panic attack if a stranger touches me or gets too close. But, overall, I'm so much better.