whoa, I've never heard of dysthymia but just reading about it now it just clicks for me. Thanks for talking about it here. I've been suffering with depression since I was 12, and my social anxiety developed when I was about 15. I'll experience depressive periods that last months to years on end, with very few breaks in between. As I've gotten older and learned to cope a little better with these issues, the periods are less frequent and with more breaks but they still happen. I just recently came out of a 5 month long wave... it's kind of like having a heavy veil draped over you and you can't take it off, and then one day it just lifts and you feel okay again. I can usually tell when I'm about to slip, but sometimes it's so sudden and it just hits me, and I'm down for months.

My social anxiety used to be completely debilitating. I couldn't be in crowded places, couldn't talk on the phone, couldn't look people in the face when I spoke to them, I would start to panic if I was around people I didn't know or would just completely shut down after too much interaction.
It's been a long time and I have it 90% under control now, but I still have moments. In those situations, I try to remove myself so I can be alone to gather my thoughts, keep myself thinking positively and try to just stick around and talk to a couple people I'm comfortable with if I'm out somewhere. If that doesn't work, I'll just go home. I'm glad I've learned what my limit is and how to take care of myself before I reach it.

I'm kind of rambling at this point but it's great to talk about these things with other people, not just running the thoughts over and over in your head.

My grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it has sent my anxiety spiraling out of control. I was finally getting into a routine and handling my depression pretty well without medicine but now it's like there is two people inside my head battling for control and its driving me nuts. I feel like I'm driving everyone else nuts too.

When I was in my teens I had a very severe social anxiety that at one point led to me being unable to even leave the house, I couldn't use the phone to call for takeout or anything like that. It eventually with time got a bit better but recently has taken a slight turn backwards. I can make phone calls sort of, I'd rather not and most of the time my husband does it for me but lately I have been saying nevermind let me do it because I don't really want to get back to that point.

I can go to the supermarket or any store by myself and sometimes if it is really crowded I do get scared but I just tell myself that I am ok and that I need to go shopping for food or whatever I am there for and I will be home soon. I can usually get through it.

Over the last few years I've gotten this new anxiety where I have panic attacks in the car. Especially when someone else is driving, like afraid I'm going to have a heart attack one day intense fear. It is off the wall ridiculous but I can't stop it, like I will get so afraid that I will actually scream because I think we're going to have an accident. I have no clue where this anxiety came from, it happens a lot when my husband is driving which is weird because he is a professional driver so of all the people I am safe with him, he drives for a living he's great at it.

Now that we've moved to Philadelphia, the people here drive a lot more aggressively then where we used to live so it is even worse. If we go on the highway I just have to close my eyes, I start shaking and I cry and it's terrible. I go anyway though because I feel like I have to face my fear not be ruled by it and if I stop leaving the house it will make my social anxiety probably come back worse as well.

The other day I went to the supermarket one morning and I didn't consider that it was 2 days froM Thanksgiving so the supermarket was so packed. I was mostly ok with the amount of people I was uncomfortable but alright but after I got in the car. Their parking lot is extremely cramped and there were people everywhere and cars cutting each other out to get parking spots and everyone driving too fast and I got so scared that I just started crying and I couldn't driv, I was too afraid to pull out of my parking spot so I just sat there for like 15 minutes in the car crying my eyes out but there was no one I could call since my husband was at work and my mom wasn't home so eventually I just sucked it up and waited for a moment when the traffic slowed a little bit and I was able to pull out.

I almost got into an accident though the car next to me had left their parking spot so I took that chance to back out since I had more room and as I was backing out this douchebag jerks around me and pulls into the parking spot so I almost hit him because he shouldn't of swerved around me like that while I was backing out but I was ok. I started crying again but I just kept telling myslef I was almost home, thankfully I only live lik 5 minutes from there... so I got home ok, I was shaking so bad by the time I got home that I barely had the strength to bring in the groceries but I made it.

Wow this post turned out a lot longer then I had expected, kudos to anyone who reads it lol.

It's great that you have the strength to keep facing your fear. It doesn't stand a chance if you keep at it! =D

A lot of posts here mention how they've gotten medical and professional help - and I was wondering, since our physiological effects sound pretty similar (mine just activate with people) - if you've done so too. :o

I am very anti-therapist after having terrible interactions with them as a teenager, so I would never go to any professional help. I am sure there are some nice ones and maybe they could help me but I have such a deep hatred to them from my childhood that it would nullify any help they could give me.

In the end it's just like quitting smoking, this is all up to me. Either I face my fears or I get consumed by them.

I just ask myself if I want to be that afraid kid again cowering in the house too afraid to speak to anyone? I don't want to be that, I like who I've become and I"m stronger for surviving all the crap that I did so I just try to continue to confront it by myself just as I always have and I'm pretty sure that is what a therapist would tell me to do anyway. They would tell me to take little steps out of my comfort zone until that is within my comfort zone.

I find when I am out and about with my husband I am fairly outgoing. I talk to the cashier's and stuff or random people who pass us and sy something to us and I am so open and bright. i can only be that with him but one day I will be that by myself as well.

Woo, you can do it! I'm trying to push myself as well, but I see all these "they helped a lot" stories and I start to wonder if maybe I should seek help to jump ahead of my own progress. That's why I was wondering :)

I only had one therapist when I was young and the medication did absolutely nothing, so I've been skeptical about what they can help with since then. I've just regressed so many times, I'm afraid it might happen again >_<

I am not saying that you shouldn't seek someone, due to my situation and things that happened in life it isn't for me but I know people who have gone to therapy for many things and felt better, others not. It doesn't hurt for you to try if you feel that it might help you. It would be good for you to have that extra level of support too throughout your journey to pushing yourself.

Oh I needed to find this thread and I'm glad I did.

I suffer from Bipolar Disorder type II (although I suspect maybe I may have type I based on things that have gone on with me this year, I haven't discussed it with my shrink as yet), PTSD due to growing up in a very broken home and other issues, and I have extreme bouts of paranoia and impulsive behavior. These things caused me to leave and give away my stuff on this site earlier in the year. I came back because I had friends here that said they'd support me. Unfortunately, I feel like they didn't keep their promise.

I deal with my anxiety by watching movies or listening to relaxing music (classical piano or that Pure Moods type stuff helps me). When that doesn't work, I write in my blog and just let all my frustration out. Lately, there are users here and in other places that think I'm faking it and that it's just an excuse for being nasty. It's really not - I SUFFER from something real and I wouldn't ever make it up. I need to be around people that understand what it's like to live like this - to have fear and racing thoughts and bouts of anxiety that can last for hours and days at a time, to worry that if you trust someone as a friend that they're gonna turn right around and betray you, and that what you say is going to be used against you in a place other than this. My picture was even used to mock me in a derogatory manner by the same folks that think I'm faking it. What do you do in that kind of situation?

I'm reevaluating who I trust and hang with on here and I thought I'd post in here because I felt like I could trust those of you that post in here. Please give me some of your hope and advice.

Ahh, I don't know if this thread is still going or not, but I'll give this a shot.

I've been living with Panic Disorder for about 14 or so years, I'll be turning 19 in January. Recently, being the past 2 years, it's gotten so terrible that it developed into Psychosis. I guess you could say it drove me up the fricken' wall. So now here I am, professionally diagnosed with GAD, manic depression, and brief psychosis. I have a compulsive urge to scratch and pick my skin when my anxiety goes up. My blood pressure is constantly high even when I'm not panicking. I have auditory and visual hallucinations, some that scare me half to death and drive me into psychotic episodes. I have been sedated several times because of these attacks. I have been through derealization and the belief that nothing is real. Physical pain has always brought me briefly back to reality. I have been in and out of mental health/behavioral health facilities these past few months and I am so drained and tired of living.

Hopefully here you will find support. :) Some of the doctors I've been to suspect I may have Bipolar, but honestly the only things I believe I suffer from are depression and severe anxiety. I've been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for over a year, and it seems like we start from the beginning every visit, so honestly with the hope and advice part, I don't believe anyone can fully get rid of this. I do believe, however, that we can distract our minds. And I also believe that we will still have moments that make us feel good.

I read that you listen to classical piano. What artists do you enjoy listening to? ^_^

- Beethoven is my favorite composer of ALL time but I love hearing/listening to Dr. John and Ray Charles as well. I love mostly classics that are almost completely piano with a little bit of other instrumental support. As for support in this thread, you can always smail me if nobody replies. I really get what you're going through. I also believe that we really can distract ourselves if we do it right.

I haven't listened to much of classical piano, but I'm in love with new age piano + acoustics. Karen Marie Garret is one of my favorites.

I've just been put on new medication and I feel chipper all the time. I love the feeling, but I am constantly drowsy. I'm hoping that I'll be able to adjust to it. The only person who's really been able to support me is my mother, even though she's easily aggravated when I'm having an episode and I feel so terrible about it. So, as a result, I try to keep to myself and stay away from people when my anxiety is horrendous.

- The best way to curb that drowsiness is probably to drink some coffee - unless you're like me and caffeine makes you that much more sleepy than you previously were. If you're like that, then my only other advice to you is to bear with it while you get used to it.

As for keeping myself away from people, I probably should've done that a long time ago. Unfortunately, I'm the type that loves being around people even when I'm feeling awful.

I honestly don't know what I have since my parents don't believe in psychiatrists, but I can't handle crowds, I always feel guilty and terrible about something even if it isn't my fault or I haven't done something wrong, I shake constantly, and I wake up multiple times a night and there have been times that I don't know where I aam when I wake up. Shit half the time I can't even begin to fall asleep without waking up immediately.nI try to refocus my energy when I get really bad but that usually fails since I end up thinking of something else going wrong and it being my fault.

I havent been properly diagnosed yet, but I definitely have something on the lines between anxiety and depression. I have days where I'm good and can function and actually feel happy, however most of my days are spent worrying and feeling like a gray cloud if over my head. I'm constantly under stress that when little things happen like a friend canceling plans because they dont feel well I can't handle it so I shut down and start crying and can't get back up. It's awful. The stress is the worst part because it's ruining my body physically as well as mentally... I'm a restless sleeper and always feel exhausted throughout my day, I get pain in my back neck and shoulder; occasionally the pain will be in my ribs, chest, hips and other areas. My pain floats around so one day I'll have no pain and the next I'll have a dull ache in my neck and then the next day it will be only my left hip but it will only last for a few hours then at the end of the day or whatever my neck or something else will be hurting.

I have a lot of trouble relaxing because I take a lot of other peoples problems on my own shoulders and I get mad at myself for taking time to do nothing because there are a 100 other things I should be doing and no one else is going to do it so its up to me to get it done.

I'm finally seeing doctors to find out more about what my body is doing because at 19 I should not be in the amount of pain I am in on a day to day basis. Unfortunately it's a slow process to get results or actually see the doctors.

I'm not really sure if I have anxiety, depression or both...but....ugh. I also think I may have a social disorder? I really don't know whats wrong but its driving me crazy, I like to know what was wrong with me, because THIS ISNT NORMAL. Does anyone know any psychs online that I could pay to talk to?

I can't go to the doctor (Parents don't approve/I'm on their insurance and don't wanna be lectured) so I've thought about going to my university doctor to get screened.

I really don't wanna go into the details, but I'm tired of living like this. I feel like a shell of myself.

Hello everybody! I didn't expect to find this thread by chance. Before I try to reply to anyone (probably through sMail which I hope is okay) I'll do an intro post. I hope other people keep posting as well! So my name is Ivette and I'm a 20 year old Native. My pronouns are they/them. I have borderline personality disorder, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and clinical depression. Every day I struggle with long bouts of disassociation, body dysphoria (I'm trans), suicidal ideation, paranoia, social anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks, self-harm, and just getting out of bed and taking care of myself. I've been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist since I was 16 and while it has helped I'm pretty sure my medication is not working well (and i'm too scared to talk to my current psychiatrist about it.) I had to drop out of university this fall semester due to the worsening of my mental and physical state (i actually got bloodwork done bc of it and apparently I was extremely vitamin D deficient and the doctor suspected I was also vitamin B and C deficient as well. So without my adderall, I could sleep for 14+ hours a day and still feel fatigued. My mind would feel heavy, my muscles felt tense, I got a lot of leg and neck cramps and overall felt very weak.) At this point I'm trying to one way or another move on with my life and get to a place where I'm more stable and don't have such strong disassociation, self-destructive impulses, and can find value in myself for just being alive (at this point i don't feel any of that is possible, but i'm too scared and worried and hesitant of killing myself immediately so I guess I will keep giving being alive a try for the moment.)

I hope everyone has a lovely day/night.

If anyone else wants to individually talk, shoot me an sMail!

[Mature Content] Alright, I kinda feel I don't have the right to post here after reading through the posts, as I haven't been suffering with mine for nearly as long as others, BUT, like you said, it is nice to have others who understand to talk to, or just listen. I have pretty extreme social anxiety, so I have no friends to discuss this with, and my husband is actually the cause of my issues, and although I love him dearly, I can't discuss it with him for the sake of our marriage. Like I said, I've always suffered from extreme social anxiety, though it's gotten worse over the years. I'm 26 now, have absolutely no friends left, and very rarely leave the house. I've never suffered from anxiety, panic, etc before, but it runs in my immediate family, so I knew it was only a matter of time. This is going to get very personal. On October 25, 2014 (just over 2 months ago), my life was perfect. Until that night, when I got a call from a girl (who I had at one time considered a friend) that I used to work with, who still works with my husband. She had something to tell me, so I invited her over to talk. She had a confession she wanted to clear her mind of..something that had happened about 3 years earlier.. I hope you realize what she told me, because I can't bring myself to say it. That was the worst night of my life. Skip forward a couple of days, husband and I were discussing this..thing..and I had my first panic attack. It was a doozy. I went temporarily blind..thought I was dying. He rushed me to the ER (where in true ER fashion, I was ignored for hours). Ever since that day, I get panic attacks pretty regularly. I have forgiven...that...and we are more in love now than we've ever been (even just found out we have another baby on the way), but that event has done permanent damage to my body. I haven't been officially diagnosed, because I suffer in silence so as not to bring up old wounds to damage our healing marriage, plus we can't afford therapy, as much as I'd like it for myself, and our insurance won't cover it. However, I know I suffer from PISD (Post Infidelity..), a form of PTSD, as well as anxiety and panic disorder, and probably some mild-ish form of depression. Thoughts and images obviously still run through my mind, and when they do, it triggers panic attacks. Unfortunately, they still work together (she's actually his manager now..) and, although there's absolutely nothing there now, every time that I know they work together, I have pretty bad attacks all night. I'm really trying to keep it under control now, because I'm afraid the stress and anxiety will get so bad one time that I'll miscarry, but it isn't easy. It's hard being depressed, panicked, broken, having disgusting thoughts always in my head, severely betrayed by the only person I trusted in the world (we've been together over a decade, have been through a lot together, and we were each other's "first and onlys"..if you know what I mean..to give you some inkling of the overwhelming disappointment)...yet being in love and thrilled about this pregnancy at the same time. Some days I feel fine, almost great. Other days, I hardly have the will to go on.

Thanks for listening.

hey Shay, I'm glad you're sharing your story :) Even though you've only been struggling with anxiety disorders for a short amount of time, its still a struggle nonetheless. i'm really sorry you've been struggling with with something like this. does your husband now just how much this is affecting your health? i really hope you and your baby keep safe!

Salutations everyone! I am professionally diagnosed with a few different psychiatric illnesses. My main diagnoses that give me the most trouble are borderline personality disorder, and major depressive disorder. I have insomnia, and PTSD from traumatic experiences that went on from ages 6-10. I am also diagnosed with social and general anxiety disorders, which of course is in regards to this topic. I have made great strides within the last 5 years, but still suffer quite a bit. I need to remind myself to take a day at a time, and not look too much toward the future.

I'm so glad this thread was made. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I can't deal with any sort of stress. My body aches all the time and I have restless sleeping habits. I'm on medication that helps a bit but it still needs fixed around. I have to push myself to do things, I seriously don't have any energy so it takes all I have just to go shopping or go places with loved ones. These symptoms have also gotten worse now that I'm going to college full time and working 20 hours a week. I also suffer from IBS and Asthma. I'm also 19 and in a familiar situation as . I don't think I should have to be dealing with all these aches and pains. My asthma doctor thinks I have fibromyalgia, but I still haven't made it to my regular doctor to get a proper diagnoses. It's a great feeling to know that I'm not alone but I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.