Wish granted. All of your friends are awake and sending you multiple spam texts simultaneously.

I wish I did not have work in the morning.

Granted but then you get fired

i wish it was my birthday today

Granted, but then you have two birthdays each year and age faster then everyone else.

I wish I wasn't so tired. D:

Granted... but then you can't sleep... and your eyes pop out... (and if you fell asleep, your head would explode)

I wish for awesome singing skills. :D

Granted, but your eyes are permanently shut.

I wish I had some Chicken Alfredo to eat right now..

Granted but the pieces of chicken are like its head, a claw, a beak etc..

I wish I could dance better. ><

Granted... but youtube watchers hate you...

I wish for a hug...

Granted but you're hugged by a giant puffer fish, which impales you in 69 different places. (that's for youtube watchers hatin' me. XD)

I wish I had sum lemonade.

Granted... HOLY CARP IS THAT PEE? omg, so sorry.

I wish for softer tissues. :c

Granted, but then you use them all at once.

I wish that I could smile right now.

Granted, but the Joker cut your cheeks and scars formed so it looks like you're smiling.

I wish I was more confident and not a scaredy-cat.

Granted, but your newfound confidence causes you to crash into a lot of sticky situations, and eventually you end up being killed in one of them.

I wish I could kill and get away with it all the time.

Granted but the ghosts of the people who you killed haunt you, and you go insane.

I wish I could fall asleep and slay asleep throughout the night. ><

Granted but you are a rotten sandwich and get tossed out.

I wish I never had to sleep.

Granted but you fall asleep while by a burn pile and fall into the flame die a very slow and painful death

I wish I had the power of scythe conjuration.

Granted, but the scythe is conjured into your stomach.

I wish I could transfer all my Guitar Hero skill into real guitar skill...

Granted but you lose your fingers in a knife fight and can never play guitar ever again.

I wish I had the power to see whats coming next so I never get hurt.

Granted, but since the future is revealed to you beforehand, nothing surprises you ever again and you kill yourself out of sheer boredom.

I wish I could laugh.

Granted, but you loose your voice.

I wish I was in Alaska.

granted but everything frose over so your stuck there for all of humanity...

I wish I was with you