It\\\'s time for your old friend Elwood, again!

Good News: The pizza business is booming! I’ve even learned to cook, so now my pizzas are at least 50% more edible!

Still, even with all my success as restaurateur, chef, and delivery boy, I feel like I could be more successful if I had, oh... a storefront? Not that I don't appreciate the semi-incorporeal state I'm in now, mind you, it just gets pretty tiresome returning to the void of unknowability at the end of the day and it really does a number on your social life. Have you ever tried to invite someone back to your place only to realize that their knowledge of the fourth wall might be less nuanced than yours, and visiting The Place Between might raise some pretty heavy existential questions for them?

Psychedelic concepts of semi-existence aside, and back to the storefront idea, I've been putting some things together on my own! I've got some plans drawn up for my new business (and hopefully enough of a nest egg to bribe an artist into drawing me back onto the map), and I think it's really cool; The concept is a kid's pizza place, you know? With characters and party rooms?  I've even started buying up these old animatronics from some other place that went out of business a while ago. They're in pretty good condition but... uh... well...

Listen I'm not an expert or anything, but do these things have a hidden battery pack or something? I was pretty sure they would need to be wired in to the building and all, but these ones never seem to be exactly where I left them, and I swear their eyes follow me around the place. Does anyone remember Benny Bunkins's Pizza? Was this kind of thing normal? I've been searching and it says that they closed down due to unusual circumstances, but I'm beginning to think that "unusual" might have been a misleading word choice.

Maybe you can take a look at one of them for me? I'm going to ship you one of the smaller characters to you and, uh, you know what? Feel free to keep it. I'll send a nice stiff drink along, too.


April 1, 2015, 9:53 am by Medli
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fnaf? ehhhh

April 1, 2015, 9:51 am by synthpop
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Oh my God.

April 1, 2015, 9:47 am by AdamRose444
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Well Elwood, I'm never working at your place. I don't wanna get killed off by a robot.

April 1, 2015, 9:43 am by TaintedTamer
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Flash your flashlight! Oh god no doors! AHHHHHH -

April 1, 2015, 9:39 am by Vibidi
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FNAF <3

April 1, 2015, 9:36 am by Rikku
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Omg this is so great. I love it. FNaF videos never cease to make me laugh. Though when I play them I'm a big baby as well. XD

April 1, 2015, 9:34 am by Greg
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Quote by Muerte
Not enough dick jokes.

Not enough gif comments either, I want my money back.

April 1, 2015, 9:34 am by Futurama
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NEW JOB AGENCY JOB: Working as a security guard at Elwood's pizza place during night shift. 120sP a day.

April 1, 2015, 9:32 am by Stakely
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why have i never heard of FNoF??????????

I WILL EMBARK ON THIS NEW JOURNEY

April 1, 2015, 9:31 am by Wolf_Spirit
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Target selected...FIRE!!!! *blows freaky rabbit to pieces& good riddance *shudders& deleted my copy of said rabbit and couldn't be happier lol

April 1, 2015, 9:29 am by Sleeb
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Ohgod, neglected shops? Atebus update, please!

I've watched my hubby do some security work for a pizza place at work a few times. That sounds like a terrible idea, Elwood. My suggestion is to get serious security doors and a reliable power generator.

April 1, 2015, 9:19 am by StarShadow
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I don't get it, but thanks for the free gift.

April 1, 2015, 9:15 am by Sun_938
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FNAF? This sounds amazing oh my god

April 1, 2015, 9:13 am by Austria
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Hmm. I wish you all the luck with your new business, Elwood... but if you have the capital to buy new ones, I'd consider junking those old animals. You need your OWN slant on the kids' pizza concept, not just to... revive a dead one. ahem If you do decide to use the Benny Bunkin animals, I'd suggest putting your nighttime security guards through a rigorous screening process before you hire them. Just in case.

April 1, 2015, 9:00 am by Luck
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thank goodness subeta made a fnaf reference to make me extremely uncomfortable. thank the greater good for adblocking images though.

April 1, 2015, 8:27 am by Targaryen
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Thank you so much Elwood! I love the sci-fi theme of animatronics coming to life!

April 1, 2015, 8:13 am by Andrea
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Fsrvtjjurdwsd XDD!

My only complaint is this is a bun and not a kanis but otherwise this is fantastic BOOZE AND FNAF. Life is good.

April 1, 2015, 8:05 am by Crystallis
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FNAF omg

April 1, 2015, 7:57 am by corpse
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

April 1, 2015, 7:43 am by Pirate
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I think my humor is still in bed...

But thanks for the bourbon.

April 1, 2015, 7:19 am by Les
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perfect. oh my god. i love this fn@f ref

also burbon for Jensen. Sweet!

April 1, 2015, 7:19 am by Les
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perfect. oh my god. i love this fn@f ref

also burbon for Jensen. Sweet!

April 1, 2015, 7:09 am by Rowan
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Elwood Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Thanks for the FNAF item, and the strong drink, Elwood-bro.

"I'd like to order something strong." "Wait your turn, fancypants!"

April 1, 2015, 7:05 am by TracyH
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Thanks, Elwood. Appreciate the gift.

April 1, 2015, 6:48 am by far
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No pizza :c

April 1, 2015, 6:25 am by pandemonium
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bless you for the fn@f item. I think elwood is now my favorite ever

April 1, 2015, 6:10 am by Parakeet
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I got so excited as soon as I saw Bennie. Five Nights at Freddy's! I love it. Haha!

April 1, 2015, 6:03 am by Speiro
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Is this month's theme terror? Or interdimensional travel? Neglected shops?

April 1, 2015, 5:34 am by Bubbledog
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YES!!! I was going to make a suggestion about needing some Five Night's at Freddy's stuff, but looks like you guys are already on it. So awesome...

April 1, 2015, 5:26 am by Screech93
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Happy Elwood Day! :D

April 1, 2015, 5:24 am by Centaur
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SCREAMS (yes please)

April 1, 2015, 5:10 am by archfey
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as soon as i saw "kid's pizza place" i was like YES PLEASE. i love benny bun and i'm glad to see i'm not alone in wanting more creepy animatronic stuff on site

April 1, 2015, 5:04 am by Oreobot
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ELWOOD I COULD KISS YOUR FACE THANK YOU FOR PRECIOUS HAUNTED ROBO BUN I love FNAF so much ahhhhhh!!

April 1, 2015, 4:59 am by Inknote
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Oh heaven help

April 1, 2015, 4:36 am by Yuzu
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FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDIE'S REFERENCE. YES. VERY AMUSE. MUCH APPROVE.

April 1, 2015, 4:25 am by heARSE
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Yesss! I was hoping we'd get some creepy animatronic items! 8D

April 1, 2015, 4:21 am by Higanbana
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Elwood, Elwood.

I think you need to return those animatronics.

I heard they've bit someone before.

April 1, 2015, 4:17 am by InkSpell
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Is that a Five Nights at Freddie's reference I see?! Chants NOPE about a thousand times And those puns...

April 1, 2015, 4:07 am by Blaziken
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DON'T DO IT, ELWOOD.

April 1, 2015, 4:01 am by Valenrhyme
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FNAF, yes! I hope there's more of these to come!

April 1, 2015, 3:56 am by Hamda
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You made me read an entire paragraph just to point out a five nights at freddy's reference in a free gift?

Good Job! love whoever thought of this :D

April 1, 2015, 3:45 am by ashleigh
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ohhh man no FNAF games please. i will not sleep for days

April 1, 2015, 3:45 am by mallory
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AAHH. THAT BENNY BUN IS A MINION. YESSS.

April 1, 2015, 3:34 am by Hosui
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This is great, I love it.

April 1, 2015, 3:21 am by HYPEBEAST
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Once again the joke's lost on me!

April 1, 2015, 3:18 am by Synth
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I'm not very familiar with FNAF but i approve of the creepy factor. Besides, the first thing this brought to mind was memories of going to Showbiz Pizza as a kid, and those animatronics really were a little spooky...

I'm excited for this to become a permanent part of the Subeta map so i hope that's for real!

April 1, 2015, 3:18 am by badtouches
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rest in pieces, elwood.

April 1, 2015, 3:12 am by Anasazi
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is so cute! I need hundreds of these!!!

April 1, 2015, 3:11 am by Dandelion
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I sometimes think I'm the only person familiar with the game who didn't find it remotely terrifying. I love spooky games but fnaf is literally just standing there pressing buttons to try to delay a standard jumpscare that instakills you.

April 1, 2015, 3:10 am by fable
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as long as i'm not working security, you can have all the messed up animatronics you want pal.

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