granted. But we can't reverse global warming caused by years and years of fossil fuel use.

I wish that I was always happy

Granted, you are the new embodiment of The Joker. When is he not happy?

I wish sex were an excruciatingly painful and unimaginably uncomfortable experience for everyone. (It already is for me. RUIN THIS.)

Granted, but everyone adapts and now pain makes them horny and it's awkward at the dentist.

I wish I had a feast of assorted pies...

Granted, but before you can eat them, a bunch of goats appear out of nowhere and eat them instead!

I wish I could see the aurora borealis.

Grant, you view this magnificent sight, because it is your last before going completely blind.

I wish I were a T-600. (The old, obsolete, soulless, human shaped killing machine of Resistance legend.)

Granted, but you end up as a toy version of it rather than the actual thing.

I wish thylacines had never gone extinct.

Granted they reappear everywhere not just their natural environment, become invasive, and uncontrollable. Zo killing them becomes necessary.

I wish for five minutes of the kind of peace, tranquility, serenity that no human, NO WOMAN could ever give me.

Granted, but you slept through the entire five minutes. At least it was a nice nap!

I wish it were snowing right now.

Granted, this marks the first days of a new Ice Age provoked after prolonged global warming. Kiss the warm weather goodbye.

Mine wish... life had meaning.

granted! but the meaning is meaningless for you

i wish i had unlimited stuffed animals

Tell mine about it... husband... father... some purpose.

Granted, they're all digital constructs tho... A Petabyte's worth.

Mine wish southpaw'd ladies exist.

granted but they have no fingers with which to write.

a nice smooth surface to skate backwards on

Granted, this infinite surface has no friction whatsoever, making stopping impossible.

Mine wish gold, platinum, and silver were as plentiful as the air we breathe.

Granted. Now the whole universe is drowning in huge mountains of gold, platinum, and silver and there are no places to even stand.

I wish I wasn't so bitter.

granted but letting go of bitterness made you so likeable you havent any time for yourself any longer.

I wish to fit into my smallest pair of jeans easily :):)

Granted, despite their size they fit like a circus tent now.

Mine wish...all marriage be outlawed.

Granted, but then all taxes go up significantly.

I wish I had a koi pond.

Granted, but the neighbors' cats have their eyes on it and one day when you are away they sneak in and enjoy a great feast. :(

I wish I had an older brother figure.

Granted, but he's in a long-term relationship with someone you can't stand!!

I wish my desk fan wasn't so loud.

Granted, it's silence then becomes deafening.

Mine wish forever ended today.