Granted, an earthquake beyond Richter scale hits the next day.

I wish to be freed from all of life's meaningless firsts.

The genie doesn't know what that means, so your wish can't be granted.

I wish I had a switch and some games.

Granted, however the games are all digital versions and the switch breaks upon turning it on - there is no way to fix it.

I wish the weather was cooler in summer.

Granted, enjoy the below freezing temperatures!

I wish I could have a pet rabbit without having to worry about my cats.

Granted, you have the killer rabbit from Monty Python and your cats are worried instead

I wish I can teleport to wherever I want.

Granted, but you miscalculate where the ground level is and end up underground. You die before you can teleport out.

I wish I could lift heavy things without training.

Granted, everything you touch is immediately released from gravity so even the slightest effort sends the object flying beyond recovery.

I wish for a real purpose in life.

Granted, but you realise it is an impossible goal and become all consumed by it. D:

I wish for all the ferzull on subeta.

Granted, you have a mountain of pixels.

It is an impossible goal...this southpaw'd lady I seek. There is no power that could, or would, bring her to me... She isn't real, not even a dream...

I wish I had the capacity to care, like some humans can...

Granted, you now understand human empathy. Unfortunately, you have too much empathy, and now care so much about the terrible things happening in the world that it deals you psychic damage every time you receive bad news.

I wish I didn't have to worry.

Granted, you no longer worry about anything. Unfortunately a relative dies and your family is disgusted by your carefree attitude at the funeral.

I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, but you can't figure out how to control it. Every time you look at something there's about a 50% chance it's going to fly across the room.

I wish my sports team would stop losing quite. so. much.

Granted, but they all get drafted for different teams

I wish I could stop losing the tv remote

Granted, it's now permanently attached to your hand.

I wish my dog would get along better with my cats.

Granted, but now they only want to play with each other and not you. :/

I wish my niece and nephew lived closer.

Granted, they move in and cling to you 24/7.

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant.

Granted; lactose nor any component of milk affects you at all, merely passing through.

I wish I had no need to consume.

Granted, you have no need to consume but your desire to consume increases exponentially.

I wish I had a billion dollars in the bank right now.

Granted, the next day a unforseen economic collapse occurs, rendering the money totally devalued.

I wish I didn't have to rely on anyone for anything.

Granted, you no longer rely on anyone but everyone you meet becomes reliant on you.

I wish I had a buffet of all my favourite foods to eat at every meal.