taken

Taken.

Single, but content with their vast variety of pets.

Taken

Single and ready to mingle.

married for thirty-five years, still has it. Taken.

Single. Was previously in a long-term relationship with Lucifer. Needs some time by himself.

that one perpetually single friend who somehow has all the best relationship advice and is oddly wise

married to her lawyer wife of twenty-five years, and she designs those clothes as a hobby because her wife already makes buckets of money.

Too many people into skeletons for them to be single, so... I'm thinking Taken.

Single

single but VERY good at mingling

Taken.

taken, with forty little leverets raised so far

single

Taken, you light up my world

Single, no one has yet been able to hold your interest for long enough to warrant a second date, and you're getting tired of looking by the glaze in your eyes.

I'd suggest single, cause you look like a black widow!

Single but content.

Taken, but you might break up with them soon. There are too many other choices out there.