People using Star/Stars/Starself as pronouns are infinitely more damaging to non-binary fellows than anyone on this thread. A star is not a gender. I personally find nounself pronouns a mockery of trans people's struggles.

ok i don't want to get into a debate or anything but... you're wrong?? first of all, pronouns =/= gender. you wouldn't say "she is not a gender" because it's not; it's a pronoun. and it's not really up to you to determine whether or not someone else's identity is valid. to do so is literally transphobia. (which is not only shitty, it's also against the community guidelines.)

what's more damaging to non-binary people? letting individuals use terms that make them feel comfortable, or telling people they can't use those terms because you don't personally understand it? so what if someone genuinely identifies as deergender or gendervoid? how does that hurt you or anyone else? because it sounds absurd and makes it harder for cis people to respect trans people? guess what, that's not the fault of non-binary people; that's the fault of transphobes whose "respect" was conditional upon trans people's "palatability" in the first place. that sounds infinitely more damaging than some people choosing to use unconventional terms to describe themselves.

[edit] let me be very clear. when you say things like "lolol bunny/dragon/star/etc is not a gender," you are committing an act of transphobia. full stop.

Yeah, a lot of trans people have said they were feeling uncomfortable with people using "bunny" or "star" or "void" as a gender because it diminishes their struggles.

A lot of people are not at ease with these pronouns because they originally were made to be a joke, and mock the struggle of trans people. I can go and provide you links of people who feels like treating "bunny" and "deer" as something valid dehumanizes trans people further, leading to more fetishization issues in the non-binary community.

http://kilgamayan.tumblr.com/post/78387038476/if-people-feel-happier-with-nounself-whats

That post is far from perfect, I'll give you this much. However

A deer is not a gender.

You can absolutely identify as a deer, believe you are one in the wrong body, but it's still not a gender.

Otherkin are unrelated to the gender binary. Hell, I'm not otherkin, so I'd like to go and see how they consider these pronouns. But yeah, I'm not fly with these pronouns, because of why they originated (to troll, pretty much), and because they're a cutesy distraction from real issues.

listen, i'm not thinking i'm gonna change your mind or anyone else's, and i hate to come off as the Big Bad SJW (and then have people turn around and act like i'm the one who's being unreasonable and oversensitive). but the fact is, even if neo-pronouns did originate "as a joke" (and i'm not sure that's true), it doesn't matter. people use them with sincerity because it's what they are comfortable with. even if you think it's "cutesy" or like a game of dress-up, it doesn't matter. they're doing it because it makes them happy - and why shouldn't non-binary people do things that make their experience of gender more enjoyable? why shouldn't they be allowed to have fun with it? why should The Trans Experience have to be miserable and somber? that kind of gatekeeping - telling people they're not taking Transness seriously enough to be A Real Trans - is extremely harmful, especially to young people exploring their identities.

cis people say, "your gender isn't real, i'm not going to respect your identity," so non-binary people say, "fine, you weren't going to respect me anyway, i might as well use whatever words i want because no matter what i do you're going to say it's wrong." if you invalidate non-binary people whose identities or pronouns you don't understand, you're invalidating all non-binary people, because you're saying that a gender needs to be approved by others in order to be considered legitimate, that the only valid identities are the ones you deem 'reasonable' and worthy of respect - none of those silly made-up genders, only the Real Genders harvested straight from the Gender Tree.

btw, i didn't say deer is a gender, i simply gave 'deergender' as an example of a term someone might use to describe their identity; i'm not specifically talking about otherkin, which is a completely separate situation (although most otherkin i know of are also trans, so the argument that otherkin 'mock' or 'invalidate' trans people is kind of laughable; no one is claiming that identifying as an animal is the same as gender).

anyway, it's sad that threads like this, asking for accommodations for trans/non-binary players, always derail in the same manner. i don't want to argue, i realize these things can be difficult to understand, especially if you haven't been immersed in The Discourse and it all sounds absurd and silly to you. but jeez, you have to recognize how upsetting statements like yours (and the amount of agreement they receive) can be.

I've wanted to make this suggestion forever but decided against doing so because some people on here can be really awful, as a few of you have demonstrated in this thread. Most of you can't even be bothered to use Quentin's correct pronouns so I assumed this suggestion would get an extremely negative response. It's nice to see there are still some good people here though. :)

I'd be happier with being able to put my actual gender in my info, but i'd settle for an option for other. It'd be better than nothing. I'm not really that happy with putting all genders other than male and female under one label but if that's all we're going to get then I'll take it.

not a single person on this thread has been cruel or demeaning towards non-binary/trans people. srsly. no one's being awful, no one's being disrespectful. I think there's been one post that doesn't support this idea? and I'd hardly call that post awful.

Almost every single person on this thread has come out in support for an Other option and you think WE'RE the ones on this site who don't use they/them/their pronouns for Quentin?

lol ok

(Hey major support for what you're saying thank you for doing it much better than I could've!)

Anyway I definitely support the "other" option, just because I do feel like it could get messy having write-ins, but I wouldn't be upset if we got write-ins instead! We're not little kids, we should be able to act appropriately even if a few bad apples decide to be dicks about it or do something dumb. I definitely think a drop-down menu might be a bad idea though.

Subeta is notoriously progressive and I absolutely love it. However I have a concern regarding an option simply labeled "Other." I realize it is not only not ideal but also increasingly impossible to have each option listed in a drop down, and even riskier to leave a blank space for people to fill out themselves, but is the term "other" not dehumanizing in some way?

I am cisgender, so my perspective and opinions are limited, but I am a literature/history scholar as well as involved in the Queer+ community as I can be, and find concerns with using the term "other" for queer individuals (think Said + Orientalism/Imperialism + Gender Spectrum).

Would it not be simple, appeasing to everyone, and safe, to simply have a "nonbinary" option for people who the simple erasure of "none" doesn't sit well with and allow people to further express their identity through the content box(es) on their profiles/statuses?

I'd be extremely happy with a 'nonbinary' option, but I'd settle for 'other' if that was all we were going to get.

I support the fill in option. Its not nb peoples' fault that people might make a mockery of it. As for nounself pronouns, I'm surprised I'm seeing a debate here. Someone else's identity doesn't invalidate your own. I'm a binary trans person and I see no problem with them.

I'd prefer 'Other' over 'Nonbinary' if we had to pick between the two. For one thing, it's bog-standard to have "Other" as a choice on all sorts of things, where it often represents whatever the fuck you want. "Do you like a) Ice cream b) cake or c) Other". No one gets confused by it and it lets the user decide what the word means for themself. And not every trans/nb person identifies as Nonbinary, or would want to list their gender as nonbinary. I know I certainly wouldn't!

I def think a write-in field is a bad idea, though. A lot of people think nounself pronouns are great and that every gender identity has worth, but a lot of others (trans and nb people included) find them deeply offensive and appropriative of the violence and hardship many of us face. Both sides have good points but Subeta isn't the place for the discussion. Subeta removed the debate forum for a reason and I can easily see a write-in field causing issues. There's no way the staff could regulate it without pissing people off, and not regulating it would piss just as many people off.

I am fully on board with "nonbinary" being an option.

Hell, there is nothing stopping staff to keep "none" and put both "nonbinary" and "other", for people not at ease with one of these terms.

I want the ability to remove the gender option from my profile. It's no one else's business what gender I may or may not be. That's why I never filled out that part. Of course I got tired of seeing the gender info there so I finally got around to just coding my own "User Info" box that doesn't have it. However, I don't think that you can code in the "Last Seen" info unless you have it set to hidden.

Having options for 'other', 'none', and 'non-binary' in addition to the current set-up would be good, I think, but write-in isn't necessary because there's already the ability to add custom information to our profiles in those extra notepad widgets. Put your manifesto* there if you feel a particularly complicated way about the subject.

*Not intended as a pejorative, more in the sense of 'this is what I believe or advocate in clearest terms'.

I believe if you set it to none it does not show up.

Someone identifying as some gender I've never heard of doesn't de-legitimize my cismale gender identity, and it certainly doesn't de-legitimize anyone else's gender identity. I don't see the problem with a fill-in-the-blank. You can identify as whatever you are because it only affects you. If some nonbinary person chooses to be offended by someone else's gender identity, it's not really different than someone cisgendered choosing to be offended by someone nonbinary or trans... Maybe I'm completely wrong but that's how I choose to see the world, seems more like fair and equal treatment to me.

I'm not really for a 'fill in the blank' since I think it leaves a lot of opportunities for people to troll. I thought the "none" field already functioned as an "other" though? Unless it's changed, it's always been straight-up blank in the past.

Anyways, I think another addition to the field would be nice and then people can just specify their preferred pronouns on their profile.

I definitely have some concerns about trolling, but I think it's mostly unfounded anxiety on my part, so I'd definitely be pleased with this being implemented. Or at least to add "other", "non-binary", and "none" to the current list (as in, actually displays those words, because right now it just leaves a blank).

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AGM-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

This isn't from me, it's a copypasta, but it illustrates perfectly what could possibly go wrong.

To add to that, I will say that anyone who knows how to use the profile blocks properly can potentially write in anything as their gender. I'm currently an Alpha Male.

I think it would be fair to have Male, Female, and Other as options, and then instead of 'None', just have 'hidden' as a choice, so someone who wishes to be more private can completely hide that line of information. I think the word 'None' is causing confusion, based off what I'm reading here.