My 84-year-old grandmother is the absolute most uncomfortable and socially unacceptable. I get it, it's part of how she was raised so it's partially innocent, but still inappropriate.

"I went home to see my niece Jamie and she dresses like a boy now, so I'll tell you what. Jamie is a boy now."

"So I was at Jim's house last night and he had this oriental woman over..."

"We had this god-awful lime green and yellow car with red and black interior. And you know one of them negro folk must've owned it before because who would own a car like that."

"And those east indians smoke this thing, they call it 'hookoo'"

Urgh, yeah. And honestly, I'm not a huge salad person, so it's sort of... extra annoying? Waiters always give me that side-eye when I order something without meat. Even better when it's a sandwich. There's a Subway right by my work, and they don't bat an eye when I want three kinds of hot sauce on top of eggs and pickles, but "omit the chicken" is apparently weird.

That's terrible and I probably shouldn't find that as funny as I do, but oh my god that's hilarious.

"You're swo skinny, go and eat something." I eat enough, this is just how my body works. "Why don't you eat something? Are you on diet? Do you know unhealthy this is?" I eat when I need to eat, just stfu about my body already :V

"You're so pale. Aren't you sick or something?" This is just my skin tone, I can't tan, stfu In the summer: "You're so pale, go and tan." I CAN'T. I'm either white as snow or burned to death. Nothing between.

I have to wear glasses. I'm literally blind without them and even had operation so my eyesight won't get any worse. And it's really annoying everyone asking me how bad I see and then wanting to borrow my glasses and trying to look though them.

"Stop being so sad." >_>;

"I love Asian eyes they're like slits." The person was nice enough, but I don't think they meant any offence. I hope!

If only we could have a dollar for everytime someone asks us where were going to get protein from... BORE OFF

as a vegan i totally feel you, and as someone with e.d when i'm told "i have big boobs" i want to just die ;;;;

Honestly, from where I'm standing? You started it.

No one likes to be badgered about their diet, and that includes your family and friends. Yeah, you each have made different dietary choice - but if you want them to respect yours, you have to start by respecting theirs.

How do you think they feel, constantly being told that they're eating "dead animal parts filled with disgusting chemicals and death"? You can't say these things and then be surprised when they get defensive.

And please don't think I must just be some asshole meat-eater who doesn't understand - I've been a vegetarian myself for nearly 15 years. I know first-hand exactly what it feels like to be teased and tormented over a simple choice in diet - and I know that it becomes significantly less prominent when you yourself aren't actively drawing attention to it.

Respect is a two-way street.

HAHA AT THE LAST COMMENT, i was waiting for some carnist to show up. xD Deliberately messaging someone you know who has asked to not be spoken to about meat isn't 'starting anything' I guess. wow. non-meat eaters are always wrong tho

Did you even read my post? I mentioned that I'm a vegetarian, and have been for almost 15 years. =/

Edit: As for your reply, her mother could simply be thinking "Oh, we're making food she can't eat - I better let her know she has to fend for herself for dinner" Literally all she was doing was saying "Hey, we're eating [food]", and OP jabs back with how disgusting she thinks that is. How would you feel if every time you brought up a food you were eating, someone didn't hesitate to mention how gross they thought it was?

To us, meat isn't food - but to most other people in the world it is, and that's just something you're going to have to get to used to.

2nd edit: And even if she was saying it to rub it in OP's face, the last thing she should have done was give into it. Basic schoolyard rules apply: People say bullies pick on those who respond? If you want it to stop, stop feeding the fire. If the bully won't stop their behaviour, stop yours and see if anything changes. By respecting their choice to eat meat, they will likely begin to respect hers in turn and the teasing will stop.

I work in fast food, and when I'm on drive thru and people pull up to the window and comment on how nice it is outside it just really sets me on edge, its like yeah rub it in that it's a lovely day, tell me again how pretty the sun is outside this window. (while i stand there trapped in taco hell)

"You're so lucky to have a service dog!" Translation: your so lucky you're disabled ...They mean well but really? I'm lucky to NEED to be accompanied everywhere by an attention-magnet fur-machine(who I do dearly love) that people scream at, invade my space to try and pet or talk to, and otherwise makes what would be a short trip to the store for anyone else into a 30 min side show performance. Not to mention that when he's unable to work due to sickness, injury, or general attitude(yes service dogs have days that they don't want to go to work either) I don't even get to make said trip to the store. Yes. I'm very lucky. You want him? Take the disability too.

PS yes he's currently out of commission and I'm a tiny bit grumpy about how little I can get done without him.

Wait... your mom just told you what her personal choice of plans for supper were, you responded with "Ewwww" and you think her reply was rude??? No, you were rude first.

Oh yeah you got us! Us evil "carnists" are clearly the rude ones in this thread, yep.

Oh god I have been waiting to be able to vent this:

"Hey speed racer/do you have a license to drive that thing?/how fast does it go?" These are NEVER okay to ask someone who uses a wheelchair....do we ask how you walk? No....its not cute...its not.

Okay, you don't understand what I said, obviously. I've told her not to mention dinner to me when it involes meat. I always have other food available, so it's not like I have to 'fend for myself' for dinner ever and she knows that so there's no reason for her to mention it to me other than to be offensive. I do respect them and they know it. I only say these things after they go on and fucking on about their meat. It's the only thing that gets them to stop. They don't respect my choices at all.

She wasn't telling me her 'personal choice' for dinner, I guess that wasn't worded well. She was basically saying that's what 'the family' was going to have and I should eat it too.

Is there any way she could've meant that that's what the mean they were making was and so you'd have to make your own thing? When I'm at my girlfriend's if the family meal is something I can't eat I'm told so I know I can make something else for myself.

She could have just said 'We're having meat' instead of describing the stuff in detail and making me sick. She's just like that sometimes. shrug

I still think you handled it poorly. I'm honestly not saying any of this to try and upset you, but I want you to realise that these are people, people you care about, and what you say about their choice in food is upsetting to them in much the same way that what they say is upsetting to you.

The dietary norm is that people eat meat. It is going to be incredibly hard for them to never mention food around you from now until, what? The end of time? You are the one who made the choice to not eat meat; that was a personal choice you made for yourself - you can't expect everyone else around you to change just because it now makes you uncomfortable. That's incredibly inconsiderate, and honestly, selfish. We are the minority, and we can't ask the world to drop everything to cater to us. It was our choice; we have to adjust.

Yes, describing meats in great detail would be rude on their part - but from what you explained, mentioning pork ribs is not what I'd consider "great detail". My point was that your mother didn't start being rude until you had started on about how gross her eating habits were. In her eyes, you were the one who was rude first, and she probably felt attacked - probably interpreted it as you suggesting you're superior to her because she still eats meat and you find it morally wrong (and remind her of it every time she mentions food).

It's the same reason why some people automatically go on the defensive when they find out someone's a vegetarian, preaching or no - they feel they need to defend their choices by default because they believe we're out to make them feel guilty. In this case, your mother may not be wrong in thinking that. You just see it as a way to get her off your back, but to everyone else that's not how it comes off at all. It's you responding to what you perceive as disrespect with more disrespect, and it spirals.

I'll reiterate what I mentioned before: If you genuinely want them to respect your choices, start by respecting theirs. And don't expect instant results - it can take time (especially if you're a newer vegetarian; the beginning is always the hardest).

Unless she said something different than your original post she just said "BBQ pork ribs." I just said that too, does that upset you? There are foods I hate to the point where I almost throw up if I taste them and I gag if I smell them but I don't text back (sincerely), "Ewwwww" if someone says they're having it or even if they go into detail about the food. That's just silly.

I have no problem with vegans, vegetarians, etc. even though I do not agree with their viewpoints. If that's what makes them feel better, fine. I have no tolerance for anyone, vegetarian or otherwise, who says, "Ewwwww" about someone eating meat or just veggies and then proceeds to get "offended" because the other person dared to mention their choice of meal around them.

"You're really tough!"

Or other comments about my weight... I have always just been a bit thicker. While part of it is fat, part of it is also muscle. I'm under no illusions. I could do to lose weight, but I am physically healthy and I "carry" my weight in a manner that most people find "passably appealing" for plus sized girls (aka weight is more distributed in my hips/butt/chest and tends not to be in my waist). My legs are very muscular and it was always a bit of a running "joke" or something about how strong they were. I don't mind it terribly but on bad self-esteem days this just breaks me down. I've always wanted to be more "delicately" built. I've always thought it much prettier... thick legs in heels or boots are hideous. They're also a bit stumpy so always some of my favorite shoe shapes (ankle straps) have been a "no no" for my body type and just make me look stubbier. Whenever you DO see models who are plus-sized, they have these gorgeous, long, thin legs. I know people mean well and for many it is a source of pride to be strong. On my good days, I try to take that into account but it feels less like "YES! I am so tough! This is awesome!" as it is "well, it won't be easy to attack me, I suppose. And I can move furniture on my own with ease, I guess."

"You'll change your mind." - About kids, I have rage issues from physical abuse ! "My kids are my life." - Me: "That sounds awful."

Mom: "You're not married, so you're shacking up." Mom: "I'm disappointed you're marrying him."

I live 700 miles away for a reason.

[edit] "I wish I never had children." - Mom