Wish granted! But the water is so cold that you end up getting out before you're ready to.

I wish that I got paid more (dammut, I have a Bon Jovi concert to save for!).

Wish granted, but your bills rise an equal amount of money.

I wish I could speak French. xD

Granted, but then every language except English becomes illegal to speak and you go to jail for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a real boy. LOL.

Granted, but you get swallowed by a whale and the old man inside eats you.

I wish I had an Easter break longer than 5 days.

Grante- oops. I took too long to grant your wish. >=]

I wish I could find true love.

Granted, but they're gonna die Tuesday. I wish I had a pizza

Granted, but it was made by a psychopath who used his brother as the toppings.

I wish I hadn't burned my tongue on dinner tonight.

Granted, but your dinner was disgusting.

I wish I were out dancing.

Granted. But you do the Funky Chicken the whole time. >u>

I wish for a delicious, non-poisoned meal that I am allowed to eat.

Granted, but it eats you first.

I with the world was full of peace and happiness.

Granted, but you don't get to be a part of it.

I wish for the best, most affordable internet service available.

Granted. But then the world ends and there's no more internet

I wish for a sausage dog!

Granted. But it barks at you when you try to eat it.

I wish I was a Power Ranger.

Granted, but it's only a costume.

I wish I had more energy.

Granted. Your house is fully powered and solely dependent on hamster power! =D That's what you wanted, right? >u>

I wish Voltaire would come out with some new music.

Granted but you hate the new music

I wish the floor in my room would sweep itself

Granted, but the floor breaks apart and becomes alive in order to do so.

I wish I was more creative.

Granted, but you get into an accident and become paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish I could find a job...

[edit]

Granted. It doesn't arrive at all.

I wish my job didn't suck.

Granted, but it involves sweeping severed chicken heads from the floor of the Tyson factory. o_o

I wish my birthday present hadn't arrived broken. D;