Congrats on being removed from high risk! That's so damn awesome! Best vibes and lots of warm love from me :D

Happy to know you're off the list... for the weight well now's the purrfect excuse to eat as many desserts as you want :P

Happy Friday everyone! I'm so excited Morostide is officially here. Second fave time of year (Lumi takes 1st!)

hint hint won't be upset if you drop me a Trick of Treat (points to sig) ... I'll try to ToT with a bunch of you as well :D

NEXT CHALLENGE

The next challenge is a bit of a last minute opinion I'm needing. I love my PERKS and my PAY at my job. Honestly... don't love my job itself.

I've been considering looking for a job, but was planning to wait until after baby arrives for maternity leave purposes.

However, a job that I felt I'd be a perfect fit for opened up, I took a chance and applied and they want to speak with me more. Now I'm crazy nervous and trying to decide if it's the best time to change jobs. I dont want to lose my leave or my perks... but I also dont want to miss a chance at a better job. Most companies probably wont want to hire someone about to have a child anyway if I had to guess -_-

Advice???

Oh man that's really hard. You don't wanna lose the opportunity but also you may not be able to afford the no maternity leave. Cant hurt to try, and at least if you tried and didn't get it at least you know you aren't missing out on anything

Ok I think what I would do is like you said wait until I have my maternity leave. I wouldn’t want to switch until the baby comes and I have my maternity leave. You already worked for that. Since you already started applying though and want to try it definitely doesn’t hurt to go and at least talk to this new company and see what they have to offer. Probably not paid maternity leave but hey you never know!

in my opinion, dont change jobs until you've had a bby/back from maternity leave :( If you changed your job and months later you had to leave for the bby I think it'll leave a bad impression on the boss/job? (unless they're very understanding) idk tho.. besides maternity leaves are pretty long so when you leave for that long time the boss may not be happy :( I understand it's for a better job but try to stick with this one until you're fully back :) it has perks and the leave as you said :)

If they can't offer maternity leave then I'd say no. You really need that time to care for yourself and baby especially if you end up having a csection. I think you should still talk with them and see if something can't be worked out.

I am all about having a job you enjoy - otherwise it ruins the rest of your daily living. I'd maybe go and explain the situation and tell them you'd only be able to switch right now if you could take the maternity leave you needed etc. :-) I think that is fair to be completely open with them. If you are a good candidate and they can see that, then the'll totally work with you. Good luck with the interview and I hope the stress is not too high for you. -hugs-

I think you should go talk to them and learn more. It sounds like the worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out (either they don't offer you what you need in terms of parental leave, etc. or you're not their selected candidate / best fit from their POV) and you keep your current position, pay/perks, and expected parental leave time. Unless there is something that you think you may lose by just speaking to them, then I think it's worth looking in to. You applied because something about this position excited you and that's worth following up on.

I agree with . Sounds like the best option to me. Good Luck! ❤

I'd talk to them honestly about it. Exactly what you told us "I'm about to have and baby, but would really love this job...etc". That plus if you can prove to them you are a valuable worker in the first couple months everything might work itself out? I might just be too much of an idealist, but I always think honesty is best. You never know what they might say! Especially if they are interested in you for the job already~!

This seems like a really difficult decision. I would go along with the idea of talking to the new employer and see what they're looking for and what they offer. I think it's important to be happy with what you do with your life so weighing the options with as much information you can gather would help make your decision. If the new job isn't worth it maybe just stick with your current job until after you can take full advantage of it's benefits, then once you feel more stable in taking care of your kiddo you can find a job that suits you better.

This also depends on what your partner does for a living as well. If your partner has a stable job and can support you through a job change then I would say go for what will make you most happy in the long term!

Wishing you the best Evalyn :)

Hi :-)

Employers are not allowed to ask any medical questions during an interview. If you aren't showing a lot, they will only know what you tell them.

For most employers, medical doesn't kick in for up to four months after you've started. That includes any kind of medical leave, so I would really pay attention to the timing. You absolutely do not want to be without medical insurance right now.

Oof. That's a hard one.

Okay, first things first, just think of it this way - there's no point stressing before you have definitive options. You might not get the job in the first place! So no harm in trying to apply! Who knows maybe they have great perks too!

Yes, you're at a rough time to be switching jobs, but it's not impossible at all. Maternity leave doesn't last forever, and if this is a better place for you long term, with good pay and future momentum, then maybe change is good. Obviously, discussing their benefit package is definitely something to bring up with HR during the interview process. They're not legally allowed to discriminate against you just because you're pregnant.

But I'd say to treat this as a fun kind of maybe. If something comes out of it, okay, weigh your pros and cons then. But don't go fretting before you know what kind of opportunity this will be!

Darn, that is a tough decision! I'd at least talk to them and get your name on their radar. Even if you can't join up right away, maybe they'll have another opening down the road and you'll get 1st dibs. Timing is everything! You definitely want to hang onto your medical and maternity leave.

in the US, if your current company is large enough you should be able to cover your insurance gap through COBRA, although it would probably be expensive. And yes, employers cannot ask medical questions at interviews, nor can they make hiring decisions based solely on medical conditions, although it's fairly easy to get around that if there are other equally qualified candidates, since you can document that you did not hire someone because you judge they don't fit into your culture, for example...

As to benefits and leave, again in the US if your company has more than a certain number of employees then they have to offer FMLA, which probably would be unpaid, but it does secure your position when you return. And the amount of time required before qualifying varies.

All that being said, is this a company that rarely has openings? Because my personal thoughts are changing jobs is high on the stress scale and having a baby is joyful but still a big life change. So i guess the question is, would this opportunity or something similar be available to you again in a year or two, or is this a once in a lifetime chance? Unless it's truly the latter, I personally would wait so I had the energy and attention to focus on family. Because juggling two new things well is harder than just one. Plus, keeping your benefits is important at this point in your life, i would think...

Anyway those are my thoughts, for what they are worth; best of luck whatever you decide. :)

I know I'm going against the flow... but my goal is to give a different perspective.

As an employer, when a job is posted it's because there is a current need. Yes, an employer is not supposed to verify if one intends on taking mat leave in the near future... but there is also a reasonable expectation the person applying is capable of fulfilling the much-needed workload. It takes time to train a person; having to retrain a replacement becomes frustrating.

If it was me, I'd go but with set goals: -Disclose at the very start. Let's say you hide that you're pregnant and get the job... down the line the employer can find other reasons not to keep you and references will be down the drain because the employer couldn't trust you.

-Explain you realize they most likely need someone right away; however, you wanted to show interest in case another opening comes up in the future. This way, they might keep you in mind for other opportunities and respect that you were honest with them.

-Don't expect the job... no stress going into the interview, relax and have fun. You never know... there might be a rare chance they want you just the way you are ;)

Also, no job is ideal. It can seem that way on paper... but let's say you get a pain in the behind boss or coworkers you can't stand, or no benefits (not all jobs offer them), lower pay that makes you have to readjust the way you live, etc. The grass can seem greener on the other side but at what cost?

The baby isn't born yet... being out of high risk doesn't guarantee everything will be ok (I'm hoping it will but I'm just saying things happen). Let's say everything goes splendid for the baby... life happens. No matter how much we plan, life doesn't follow an exact plan. Job security (especially these days) is important.

Psychologically, it's known that the three biggest stressors are moving, death & starting/ending a job. Having a baby is also super stressful (especially with the journey you went through). Negative stress affects not only your mind, but also your body and that of the little one inside. Don't increase your stress by changing jobs... the most important thing in your life at this time is to focus on the biggest prize of all... your future bundle of joy. Focus on eating fun foods, relaxing (get massages from hubby, bubble baths, gentle music, etc.), have fun (spend time with friends, go to places you enjoy, watch funny movies). If that job is meant for you, it'll find it's way back to you at the right time. The fact it's not the right time means that job isn't the ideal job.

I know I might sound like a downer, but I really do want you to have the best chance to be happy. ❤

By the way, I'm going through a similar dilemma in my own life that is completely different but still results in having to put things on the back burner. I've found someone that thinks like me on a level that no one has before... we can even finish each other's sentences. Spending time together is like magnets being drawn together. What makes it even more fascinating is that we are both high functioning autistics... brains function very differently making it even more challenging to find someone that thinks similarly. Yet, it's not the right time in either of our lives. We both need more stability and a relationship would be devastating to our stress levels that could lead to downward spiral of problems. So, instead, we don't spend much time together and are just gently focusing on friendship. Most likely, it'll take a year before our lives are stable enough to think about anything more. If it's the real thing, it'll pass the test of time and if it isn't, it never was meant to be. I value more having a stable environment that brings me peace and happiness than giving into momentary bliss... luckily, he's of the same opinion. Plus, we might realize we have quirks we really can't stand of each other as friends and thank goodness it didn't go further :P

Don't try to eat the whole cake cuz it'll give you indigestion, instead enjoy each piece at a time... and having a baby is a pretty awesome piece, but it ain't a piece of cake (i.e. easy) having one :P

Edit: OH NO! You've been tricked 😢! Evalynn cast a hex on you, and turned you into something nasty

Well, well... :P

A job that you like is hard to find. I'd go along to the interview and see what they have to say ... let them know you are pregnant. Not fair on them otherwise.

I don't have any advice but best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do. :)

i def think wait until the new job is atleast 90% certain that they are willing to take you especially pregnant and will pay maternity leave for a new job