Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division

A Higgs Boson walks into the bar on a Sunday, & the bartender says, “you gotta go to Church right now.” Higgs Boson asks, “Why?”. Bartender says, “Well, without you, they can’t have mass”.

Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O? A: Seawater

Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

Heisenberg is out for a country drive in his new Lamborghini. A police officer stops him and asks :” Do you know how fast you were going?’ Heisenberg responds; ” No, but I know exactly where I am”

Please reflect on this paradox: “In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.”

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have H2O”. The second one says “I’ll have H2O too”. The second one dies.

Q: Three kittens were on a roof. which one slipped off first? A: The one with the lowest µ (“mew”: coefficient of friction).

Q: What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? A: Woopea!

Never trust an atom… they make up everything!

Q: Where do mice put their dead to rest? A: A mouseoleum

Q: What did the proton tell the electron? A: Don’t be so negative!

Oh, There You Are! They just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

I was reading a book on anti gravity. I found it difficult to put down.

Q: “How often do I make chemistry-related jokes?” A: “Periodically!!”

Q: Which doctor is the worst seen by his patients? A: The ophthalmologist.

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

Q: What is the most egoist creature living in the sea? A: The “shelfish”.

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Barium.

A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.

A proton, a neutron, and helium walk into a bar and order three beers. The bartender appears with 3 beers and asks the proton, “Are you sure you’re over 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” So the bartender gives him the first beer. He gives the second beer to the neutron and says, “For you, no charge.” He throws the third beer in helium’s face. Helium doesn’t react.

Three statisticians go hunting for deer. They spot one off in the distance. The first one shoots about a meter too high, the second one, about a meter too low, the third one yells, “We got it!”

One mouse to another: “look at that fellow with white coat on. whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!!!”

A student is lucky enough to be riding on a train with Einstein and excitedly asks him, “Professor, does Boston stop at this train?”

Are you sure those instructions say to add hydrogen peroxide to the potassium iodide and soap solution??? Yikes!!

A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if it needs a bellman, it responds “No, I’m traveling light”

I was going to tell you more science jokes, but they argon.